Shrinks, Elkanah, 'O's and fake 'O's

[Calllaris]

Early this morning, a very close friend called me up. She was having girlfriend issues again. As usual, very usual.

If not for our friendship code and that I had a degree in Psychology - we play shrink to each other - I was beginning to get tired of mediating. Yet from their relationship I find that communication works wonders between lovers - they thoroughly lacked communication. In fact, her younger girlfriend was dumb, not literally though.

But they had love.

Here is how it normally goes, she calls me, reports a matter, most times she's reporting on her girlfriend, then I call 'girlfriend' and talk 'some' into her. And they make up!

To me, I think she has spoilt 'girl friend' silly so whenever GF isn't having her way, she sulks and refuses to speak - literally. Yes, some women are like that!

If my friend 'looks for trouble', younger girlfriend sulks. If younger GF 'looks for trouble', younger GF still sulks. And you re right my friend will beg - all the time.

I do admire her though, she's always begging, mending, wooing. You'd even wonder how younger GF was ever the one to 'indicate' interest for their 'togetherness' in the first place. Yes, younger GF asked her out - actually.

Today's issue is this; They were making love last night and as she was about to climax, according to younger GF, she had screamed "Elkanah, hold me!".

Shoo?

My friend while recounting this to me over the Phone didn't need to deny saying such because I know she's never really been with a man and she doesn't date men. Then Elkanah must be a man's name? I almost found it annoying that younger girl friend was hearing 'things' but my friend who is a very prim and proper lady was ever ready to remedy things - as usual.

So In support, I suggested she simply tell her woman that Elkanah was the janitor/ handy man whom she was expecting to come in early the next morning for maintenance in their new apartment. (This by the way is true, there is an 'Elkanah' that works for them which I think makes it worse that younger GF is thinking thus). Also that she had given him some money for repairs and fumigation while at the same he isn't delivering up to speed so she was real worried as xmas is already here so her mind is now totally fixated on him, therefore "Elkanah hold me!"...

How does that sound?

At this suggestion, my friend asked If I was sure acknowledging that she said it at all wouldn't worsen things..

"because I'm sure I didn't say it. I better out rightly insist I didn't say such" she submits at my sugestion

"Babe, you gave Elkanah 50k and there is no money in the universe now so it could be u were thinking of the loss while on top your wife" I taunted

"No Og I didn't say such. I was making love to her in igbo quite alright but I didn't mention the calabar boy - how can I?" she sullenly adds

"Babe just tell her like that, it makes sense to me" I tendered.

Then I began to ponder with wonder in my mind. *Making love to a yoruba girl in igbo?* Nothing I won't see from this my pal.

I dared not laugh out though. To her this was serious matter.

"She doesn't understand igbo, does that mean she will hear me say Elkanah?..." My pal pondered out loud. "I said 'ike gi atogbu gom', 'kedu udi otu bu ihe a?', 'Mepee ukwu gi...." she continued to explain with a certain seriousness to her voice. "I know there are a lot of 'K's' in those igbo statements I spoke, but does that mean she should hear 'El- K,anah?" She concluded with the same seriousness.

I burst in laughter, I couldn't help myself any longer "na wa o babe how come you re giving your yoruba girlfriend igbo classes in bed, why won't she hear u say Elkanah?"

"Og I know she didn't hear it, because I didn't say it. I remember all I said that one time, moreover Elkanah is almost a swindler, how can I..."

"Ok babe I ll talk to Biola for you"

"Thanks, I knew you'd understand"

"Ok I need to go out now, call you later" I said, ready to hang up.

"Og", I heard from the other end

"Yeah, I'm here"

"Do you know why I'm sure I didn't say it?"

Somehow, I knew she was going to drop an ice.

"No" I replied

"Because I faked my 'O' last night, I wasn't just getting 'there' and she was almost 'there'. I had to get her 'there' by all means, I began to suckle and squeeze harder, saying crazy things, spreading her open and grinding her cunt faster, saying things I knew would help, so I know"

"Babe" I calmly called into the phone

"Yeah?"

"Whatever you do, don't ever tell her this last one, okay?"

"Okay"

For once, I was proud of my pal for not arguing with me. How do you want to cause a more huge problem with saying you were faking an 'O'?

*******

Story ended.

So with this conviction, I up and off to mediate. I succeeded and convinced her girlfriend that my friend didn't say such. I convinced, easily especially after she told me about the fake 'O' showing she was really conscious after all and not in the throes of passion where you forget the things you say right before you cum.

The word "Elkanah" was converted to ''Ikalii' (an igbo word meaning 'you are the best').

I won again and I was happy for I was sure I was doing a good work - mending two lovers.

So I'm proud.

Two days later my friend calls to hookup. As we sat over drinks, she said

"Og, you re a star with that word you coined 'ikalii", every night since then, she asks me to say it to her while making love"

I laughed proudly

"Moreover, I lied to you, I didn't fake my 'O', how can I with my Biola? The mere thought of her body turns me on. I Just said it so you'd be convinced beyond doubt therefore convince Biola - beyond doubt. You see, I told you, I'm a better shrink"

At this, I shreiked at her scam. I reached over, pulled her by the neck and began to jabb her tummy continuously until she was begging and calling out 'boss, I'm sorry boss". That was our surrender code or you'll get your tummy jabbed forever till you drop with laughter.

I stopped with the jabbing.

I was happy she was happy, girl friend was happy and all three were happy again. (All three are on here too)

[FlyJ]

Lol... i enjoyed the Younger Gf, Yoruba Girl, Igbo Girl and of course the Ikalii twist.

 

[dequeen]

Hahaha! Nice read. She does seem like a better shrink though. Hahaha.

[lala1990]

Lwkmd.....too funny.

Seriously, how do you make love to someone in Igbo. This is like the first time such a phrase has ever even crossed my mind. Just totally wowed. Few things ever surprise me, like I know some people speak in tongues at that moment, but to actually say I made love to this person in a particular language is mind blowing. Fantastic read.

 

Now I want to know who the friend and the younger gf is :D :D , but I've given up on being inquisitive.

[dequeen]

@Lala, bribe me and i'll tell ya. *sly smile on ma face*

[lala1990]

I've figured one out already. ;)

[Nmacie]

Lol, nice..

[Abystacy]

Lol..

[Hawken]

Lol figurers

[Suavity]

Lmao! Making love in igbo,somebody has said that before very funny,that was cool calla.