Miss Independent or Self-absorbed?

[FlyJ]

Why is it that being a single, independent lady now almost translates as being self-absorbed and unrealistic? You cannot say no or handle your business anymore without being criticized – “Ahan, why are you living on your own, shey you want to drive all the men away?” or “someone cannot even get her number, who she be sef?”, “come, are you a Lesbian?”… just because you are not in a relationship and you don’t want to date ‘uncle’. You insist to pay your bill after dinner, you are feeling yourself or showing off. You are offered a ride and rather take a cab you will pay for, wahala! The list is just unending.

 

People just choose (emphasis on choose because more often than not, it is deliberate) to misinterpret every action you make because you are a single, content lady. Your simplicity and non-conformism to general ideologies, is translated as pride.

 

The Nigerian society wants a ‘subjective’ lady, one who says, ‘yes’ to everything. She should at no point be left on her own to grow; for what? You want her to go haywire or get pregnant? The average Nigerian man does not understand why a young lady he fancies shouldn’t date him or why any lady should hold back her phone number. Doesn’t she want to get married? It is so bad when it comes to these men and relationships that going to the cinema alone should not be seen or heard. People will ask why and immediately categorize you.

 

I need to understand though, why should it be an issue that a single lady says no? ‘Yes or No’ are both words aren’t they? Renting or buying and living in a house is a natural activity to humans; is it now gender sensitive?

 

Getting pregnant will be as a result of personal choice, either due to some moral deficiency on the lady’s part or any other personal valid reason by her and not for the sole reason that she lives alone in a house “she” purchased.

 

Dating is a choice. Why brand a lady stuck up because she hasn’t been and still is not in a relationship? Why even date when you don’t want to or haven’t identified the person of your interest, whose time will you be wasting?

 

Don’t you think phone numbers are too personal to be dropped everywhere? I mean: is a lady obligated to give such personal information just because “he” serves a mean compliment every now and then? And why can’t she see a movie trailer, love it and go watch one without a guy. I am either very mistaken and cinemas are relationship centers or, it is actually wrong to categorize a young single lady as self-absorbed because she chooses to have popcorn and a drink, watching a movie by herself.

 

Don’t get me wrong, personal character will definitely come to play in some of these cases, like I mentioned, living alone can be a good or bad thing for a lady when you put character and upbringing under the lens but that wouldn’t be narcissistic or self-absorbed still, would it?

 

My point exactly!

 

Source

[Hawken]

This is too true.

[Missmart]

That's just it.

[Princesa]

I went to watch a movie "wives on strike" on wednessday and one of the actress sold ticket to me ( she was promoting the movie) Omoni oboli that's her name ( I hop I got d spelling ryt) ws wondering and asking me plenty kwesions on y I cme to watch the muvie by msef, tld her m on a date wit m sef she smiled n kept insisting I shud cme to d cinema with a date nxt tym... I jus smiled at her cos she was friendly and nice so I 4gav d plenty kwesions she asked. Buh c'mon cnt a lady be by hersef?

[ChazBee]

I went home for Xmas with one of my ex's a few years back then one day we went to a sit-out bar to chill. I haven't forgotten the stare we got that day then a guy walked up to us and invited us to their table which we politely turned down. The next thing he turned and said he was suspecting us and the way we were going we will likely never get married. Of course I gave him an epic reply that he is yet to forget.

Nigerian men bask in the euphoria of 'superior gender' but I think it is we women that encourage them.

I remember my cousin cautioning me sometime ago on how its wrong of me to go to bars and clubs on my own.

In this country, women still has a lot of growing to do. Thanks Princessa

[kimi]

#word

 

Some Women do encourage such nuisance behaviours. Take for instance, at work, I never see the girl around anytime I need to get something done so I usually give tasks to the boy who tends to be faster and very eager to learn. Then one day, I split a task between both of them giving the boy more because of his speed. Can you imagine, it took the girl over an hour to populate 2rows on a spreadsheet and the next thing I know, the boy was there finishing up for her.

 

I was pissed. I don't like lazy people one bit worse when it's a woman. Why won't we get such treatment or why won't we keep getting perceived as the weaker sex if some won't just grow up already.

 

Anyways, since I really don't like lazy people, she's become the person I give lots of tasks to. Rubbish. She annoys me sef. Just the attitude. Smh. Told her she's too young to have such a mindset and I expect much more from her. Kmt.

[TeeJay]

I'm just curious. Can those living or those that have lived abroad please tell us what it's like to be a lesbian abroad. How those that environment play on being gay? Or should this be on a new thread?

[TeeJay]

#word

 

Some Women do encourage such nuisance behaviours. Take for instance, at work, I never see the girl around anytime I need to get something done so I usually give tasks to the boy who tends to be faster and very eager to learn. Then one day, I split a task between both of them giving the boy more because of his speed. Can you imagine, it took the girl over an hour to populate 2rows on a spreadsheet and the next thing I know, the boy was there finishing up for her.

 

I was pissed. I don't like lazy people one bit worse when it's a woman. Why won't we get such treatment or why won't we keep getting perceived as the weaker sex if some won't just grow up already.

 

Anyways, since I really don't like lazy people, she's become the person I give lots of tasks to. Rubbish. She annoys me sef. Just the attitude. Smh. Told her she's too young to have such a mindset and I expect much more from her. Kmt.

 

what if this girl was me? Got me thinking... so I could like go apply for a job at Kimi's place and she likes doesn't like me and then we be paddies on NL without knowing. What's happening to my mind today?

[kimi]

Hahahahahaha. She can't be you I'm sure. Doesn't have your energy. ;)

[Princesa]

I went home for Xmas with one of my ex's a few years back then one day we went to a sit-out bar to chill. I haven't forgotten the stare we got that day then a guy walked up to us and invited us to their table which we politely turned down. The next thing he turned and said he was suspecting us and the way we were going we will likely never get married. Of course I gave him an epic reply that he is yet to forget.

Nigerian men bask in the euphoria of 'superior gender' but I think it is we women that encourage them.

I remember my cousin cautioning me sometime ago on how its wrong of me to go to bars and clubs on my own.

In this country, women still has a lot of growing to do. Thanks Princessa

Uw sweetie