THE DARNEST QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK QUEER WOMEN

[Covfefe]

As if being a woman who loves women is not enough, now you have to put up with the labels, crazy ass questions, and hetero-awkwardness (like your female friends feeling violated whenever they have to change in your presence)

Someone once asked me asked me what making love to a woman feels like, I thought a lot about it and I answered.

“Sometimes, it’s eerie calm, and other times it is a raging war, consuming two twin souls. It’s an overwhelming familiarity, like dresses that fit every part of you.” Then she turned and left, I still don’t know what I did wrong though. Those were words from the bottom of my heart, I mean I was in love then. But really, how offensive can these hetero-folks get, as if we ask them how they eat their banana with two eggs.

Next is the golden question, how do you guys do it? Like seriously? we stand on our heads and link our thighs together. Durrh! We do it like everyone else, but if you don’t believe me you can ask your mom.

Then the “who is the man, and who is the woman?” like do we have to do this again? She is the right foot and I’m the left one, and we are both feet. Pun so intended! Stop imposing your hetero-models on us, thank you!

And the “you are bisexual, why are you so confused?” . I tried to keep my civility as i explained what bisexuality meant to him, he still had the confusion glint in his eyes. I get tired of trying to convince people who believe that bi-women are just indecisive, or plain greedy.

Also, there is the “how did you became queer?” The last person that asked me that got what she didn’t order for. I sat her down and told her one ridiculous story of how I was struck by a rainbow, and suddenly realized that curves and tits meant a lot to me. She left mirthless, just like always.

And the “were you abused as a child/ do you hate men?” and I’m like “bitch, the word is gender-fluid, not man-hater, not victim”. I was angry, but I held my calm and asked her if she was abused by women as a child that she ended up loving men so much.

Lastly, there is the almighty “don’t you know it’s a sin against God?”, then he started with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I waited for him to finish before asking him what he thought about eating sea food, about wearing linen, about pulling out, about working on Sundays, about period sex, about lying, about cheating…

I was so absorbed in listing the numerous sins that I didn’t notice him leave.

[kimi]

Looool. 

[Txunamy]

Oh covfefe...

I like you..goodness me! I enjoyed every bit of this.

I don't like trump, but I like you..oh no! Why do you have to be covfefe?

[VINA]

Hahaha. For everyone clueless person we answer, two more are born. These responses are spot on. Lmao

[Mimy]

Lool. Epic! 

[FlyJ]

7 hours ago, Covfefe said:

As if being a woman who loves women is not enough, now you have to put up with the labels, crazy ass questions, and hetero-awkwardness (like your female friends feeling violated whenever they have to change in your presence)

Someone once asked me asked me what making love to a woman feels like, I thought a lot about it and I answered.

“Sometimes, it’s eerie calm, and other times it is a raging war, consuming two twin souls. It’s an overwhelming familiarity, like dresses that fit every part of you.” Then she turned and left, I still don’t know what I did wrong though. Those were words from the bottom of my heart, I mean I was in love then. But really, how offensive can these hetero-folks get, as if we ask them how they eat their banana with two eggs.

Next is the golden question, how do you guys do it? Like seriously? we stand on our heads and link our thighs together. Durrh! We do it like everyone else, but if you don’t believe me you can ask your mom.

Then the “who is the man, and who is the woman?” like do we have to do this again? She is the right foot and I’m the left one, and we are both feet. Pun so intended! Stop imposing your hetero-models on us, thank you!

And the “you are bisexual, why are you so confused?” . I tried to keep my civility as i explained what bisexuality meant to him, he still had the confusion glint in his eyes. I get tired of trying to convince people who believe that bi-women are just indecisive, or plain greedy.

Also, there is the “how did you became queer?” The last person that asked me that got what she didn’t order for. I sat her down and told her one ridiculous story of how I was struck by a rainbow, and suddenly realized that curves and tits meant a lot to me. She left mirthless, just like always.

And the “were you abused as a child/ do you hate men?” and I’m like “bitch, the word is gender-fluid, not man-hater, not victim”. I was angry, but I held my calm and asked her if she was abused by women as a child that she ended up loving men so much.

Lastly, there is the almighty “don’t you know it’s a sin against God?”, then he started with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I waited for him to finish before asking him what he thought about eating sea food, about wearing linen, about pulling out, about working on Sundays, about period sex, about lying, about cheating…

I was so absorbed in listing the numerous sins that I didn’t notice him leave.

Hahaha. The one that kills me is the - how do you guys do it. LOL. 

[Teewhy]

Haha, how do you guys do it? Okay, we put our heads on the floor, raise our legs up to the sky, twist our bellies, roll our breasts and shake our bums to do it. Nonsense! 

[Covfefe]

10 hours ago, Ivyy said:

Oh covfefe...

I like you..goodness me! I enjoyed every bit of this.

I don't like trump, but I like you..oh no! Why do you have to be covfefe?

awwww...#gooey face

Told you i'm not carrot face.

Just Covfefe.

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, Covfefe said:

awwww...#gooey face

Told you i'm not carrot face.

Just Covfefe.

Gotcha!

Just covfefe.

I'll endeavour to remember that.

[Hawken]

Nice write up lol

[Nmacie]

... struck by a rainbow.😂