Falling For An Ex Again

[boldie]

While wondering about what to do with my night, I decided to sneak into the forum and view as a guest as usual. I have been a monitoring spirit to some people in here for a while now, even without seeing d need to sign in. 

 

Anyway, something got me thinking, why do we fall in love with an ex? People don't think it is possible but I have seen people see their ex and they get hit even more than before. Why do we break up and refuse to make up? What makes it permanent really. This female to female kind of love is just complicated for me. Somehow, I think a part of me love all my exes. (Don't ask how many). When I think of each of them, I feel something. It may vary but it is still there. Shouldn't we be the more passionate? I often feel our relationships should last, really last but somehow, we mess it up with rivalry and comparisons. 

Maybe it is because we find it easier to cheat as it is a gurl-girl thing. Maybe it is because we don't see ourselves as loyal to our own kind. Why do we have so many exs' in this circle? 

 

Is there a rule that says once a boo, can't be a re-boo?

 

 

[Teewhy]

Your last statement is a rule for me. Once an ex, you can't be a re-boo. The reason it's called an EX.

I'm here to read comments. The *commenters* of exes matter should coman answer. 

[VINA]

First off its a Sunday and I feel it in me.

#sprinkles holy water.  Boldie I Need to cast out the monitoring spirit in you. you must come back here fully in three market days or else.....

Lool. Back to topic, I have an ex I could go back to if we meet in the future and she's a better person but otherwise this love will kill me in silence.

There's no rule about going back to your ex but most of the times there's a reason why it didnt work out and when you do go back, those problems are still there. Better to put your hands on the plough and avoid looking back.

[Phegore]

This is a good one ..I'll try to answer this the best way I can.
1.why do we fall in love with an ex?
A breakup rarely extinguished a person's feelings and after months or years of separation,tensions can ease and you can once again find a good rapport with the person you used to be with.But it can be taken even farther when not only complicity is reawakened within you;but feelings of love.

I met an ex of mine sometime back and to my greatest surprise I had a rush of emotions(positive ones of course)she was looking like the best thing next to sliced bread.The relationship ended on a positive note-she wanted to travel the world and focus on her work and family. in contrast,I was lost and I needed to find myself-fine I was heartbroken but I didn't resent her,I completely understood.sometimes u re in a relationship with someone and you begin to loose urself.anyways,we got talking and it was just easy-i realized that i had missed her a lot and we both had grown up-she requited my feelings.unfortunately,we could not pursue a relationship because she was leaving the country for her Msc and I don't do long distance,but I'm thankful for the bond and friendship.

Also,sometimes it's easier to fall into the same habit.Especially,when u re not over them completely.it might just be that u re in love with the routine not actually the person-someone calling u constantly,going out for lunch,going to see a movie,sending u flowers and the sex.its important not to confound them.

2.why do we break up and refuse to make up?
This all boils down to the person,how the relationship was and how it ended.
I'm friends with all my exes except one in particular.i had so much animosity towards her(there's a thin line between love and hate anything can provoke the latter) after the demise of our relationship(like how would you have problems with your girlfriend on Wednesday and be with someone else in another state on Friday-then tell me you guys are now dating..who does that?).infact I just recently forgave and completely let go.The relationship ended horribly words were exchanged and we both moved on.i blocked her everywhere(Whatsapp,Instagram,calls and messages)we practically have zero contact.

you might love someone so much and want the best for them but not want them in your life.some people are actually toxic-maybe narcissistic,abusive(verbally or physically),manipulative etc.When you breakup with such people make it permanent for your sanity and safety.its important you forgive such people but there's no making up with them( some people can never change)-keep loving and praying for them from afar.so to answer the question it depends on the person and how the relationship ended.

Ps-if u re dating someone try to find out about how they were raised.a lot of people weren't raised on LOVE.while others,were raised on SURVIVAL.That's why you see a lot of men/women not being able to love properly(Hurting people)..y'll find a lot of good looking people damaged by their past.you won't realize how damaged they are until you try to love them.if you think a person's past doesn't affect how they see life you are clearly mistaken.

3.Why do we have so many exes in the same circle?
Ermm this happens quite a lot,the lesbian sphere in Nigeria especially Lagos is very small( people like to think otherwise tho).anyways,I met someone a month ago-we just hit it off and became really good friends and she was really excited to introduce me to her girlfriend.finally we met up and I found out that she one of my exes from university.i played it cool and didn't even act like I knew her(we were cordial after we broke up..but I got the feeling she didn't want her girlfriend to know we had a past).it has happened to some of my friends quite a lot.
To answer ur question explicitly,I would say nobody goes into a relationship being pessimistic of the outcome,circumstances happen(cheating,lying,not getting along etc).I dated some of my exes definitely thinking they were going to be my wife someday.Life happens yo..you can't help it sometimes ..you just have many exes-ur present boo is someone's ex too.

Sorry it's quite a read..Happy Sunday y'all 

 

[boldie]

15 minutes ago, Phegore said:

This is a good one ..I'll try to answer this the best way I can.
1.why do we fall in love with an ex?
A breakup rarely extinguished a person's feelings and after months or years of separation,tensions can ease and you can once again find a good rapport with the person you used to be with.But it can be taken even farther when not only complicity is reawakened within you;but feelings of love.

I met an ex of mine sometime back and to my greatest surprise I had a rush of emotions(positive ones of course)she was looking like the best thing next to sliced bread.The relationship ended on a positive note-she wanted to travel the world and focus on her work and family. in contrast,I was lost and I needed to find myself-fine I was heartbroken but I didn't resent her,I completely understood.sometimes u re in a relationship with someone and you begin to loose urself.anyways,we got talking and it was just easy-i realized that i had missed her a lot and we both had grown up-she requited my feelings.unfortunately,we could not pursue a relationship because she was leaving the country for her Msc and I don't do long distance,but I'm thankful for the bond and friendship.

Also,sometimes it's easier to fall into the same habit.Especially,when u re not over them completely.it might just be that u re in love with the routine not actually the person-someone calling u constantly,going out for lunch,going to see a movie,sending u flowers and the sex.its important not to confound them.

2.why do we break up and refuse to make up?
This all boils down to the person,how the relationship was and how it ended.
I'm friends with all my exes except one in particular.i had so much animosity towards her(there's a thin line between love and hate anything can provoke the latter) after the demise of our relationship(like how would you have problems with your girlfriend on Wednesday and be with someone else in another state on Friday-then tell me you guys are now dating..who does that?).infact I just recently forgave and completely let go.The relationship ended horribly words were exchanged and we both moved on.i blocked her everywhere(Whatsapp,Instagram,calls and messages)we practically have zero contact.

you might love someone so much and want the best for them but not want them in your life.some people are actually toxic-maybe narcissistic,abusive(verbally or physically),manipulative etc.When you breakup with such people make it permanent for your sanity and safety.its important you forgive such people but there's no making up with them( some people can never change)-keep loving and praying for them from afar.so to answer the question it depends on the person and how the relationship ended.

Ps-if u re dating someone try to find out about how they were raised.a lot of people weren't raised on LOVE.while others,were raised on SURVIVAL.That's why you see a lot of men/women not being able to love properly(Hurting people)..y'll find a lot of good looking people damaged by their past.you won't realize how damaged they are until you try to love them.if you think a person's past doesn't affect how they see life you are clearly mistaken.

3.Why do we have so many exes in the same circle?
Ermm this happens quite a lot,the lesbian sphere in Nigeria especially Lagos is very small( people like to think otherwise tho).anyways,I met someone a month ago-we just hit it off and became really good friends and she was really excited to introduce me to her girlfriend.finally we met up and I found out that she one of my exes from university.i played it cool and didn't even act like I knew her(we were cordial after we broke up..but I got the feeling she didn't want her girlfriend to know we had a past).it has happened to some of my friends quite a lot.
To answer ur question explicitly,I would say nobody goes into a relationship being pessimistic of the outcome,circumstances happen(cheating,lying,not getting along etc).I dated some of my exes definitely thinking they were going to be my wife someday.Life happens yo..you can't help it sometimes ..you just have many exes-ur present boo is someone's ex too.

Sorry it's quite a read..Happy Sunday y'all 

 

Love it!!! Long read but...hmmm u hit am or head!! 

[kimi]

Why do we fall in love with an ex? I think I'll leave this to those who have fallen in love with their exes all over again. They would know best.

Now... to why we break up and refuse to make up. That's easy for me to answer. For me, it's just one thing: "we stopped wanting the same things". Life and life's experiences changes people... I would never want to stand in anyone's way if they don't want to continue in a relationship with me any more.

One important word for me is committment. Can two work together except they agree...? (selah). Lol. Once you both have that, all else is secondary. Your treasure is always and always will be where your heart is. 

5 hours ago, boldie said:

Why do we have so many exs' in this circle? 

Lol. Let's leave this for the culprits to shed some more light on this. Lol. On second thoughts, truth is, this phenomenon is inevitable.

It's a ratio problem as the size of the community itself in relation to the heterosexuals is rather unbalanced. Considering gay people tend to move in 'cliques/groups/packs (like wolves. Lol), it is bound to happen more frequently than we may like for it to. 

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, Phegore said:

This is a good one ..I'll try to answer this the best way I can.
1.why do we fall in love with an ex?
A breakup rarely extinguished a person's feelings and after months or years of separation,tensions can ease and you can once again find a good rapport with the person you used to be with.But it can be taken even farther when not only complicity is reawakened within you;but feelings of love.

I met an ex of mine sometime back and to my greatest surprise I had a rush of emotions(positive ones of course)she was looking like the best thing next to sliced bread.The relationship ended on a positive note-she wanted to travel the world and focus on her work and family. in contrast,I was lost and I needed to find myself-fine I was heartbroken but I didn't resent her,I completely understood.sometimes u re in a relationship with someone and you begin to loose urself.anyways,we got talking and it was just easy-i realized that i had missed her a lot and we both had grown up-she requited my feelings.unfortunately,we could not pursue a relationship because she was leaving the country for her Msc and I don't do long distance,but I'm thankful for the bond and friendship.

Also,sometimes it's easier to fall into the same habit.Especially,when u re not over them completely.it might just be that u re in love with the routine not actually the person-someone calling u constantly,going out for lunch,going to see a movie,sending u flowers and the sex.its important not to confound them.

2.why do we break up and refuse to make up?
This all boils down to the person,how the relationship was and how it ended.
I'm friends with all my exes except one in particular.i had so much animosity towards her(there's a thin line between love and hate anything can provoke the latter) after the demise of our relationship(like how would you have problems with your girlfriend on Wednesday and be with someone else in another state on Friday-then tell me you guys are now dating..who does that?).infact I just recently forgave and completely let go.The relationship ended horribly words were exchanged and we both moved on.i blocked her everywhere(Whatsapp,Instagram,calls and messages)we practically have zero contact.

you might love someone so much and want the best for them but not want them in your life.some people are actually toxic-maybe narcissistic,abusive(verbally or physically),manipulative etc.When you breakup with such people make it permanent for your sanity and safety.its important you forgive such people but there's no making up with them( some people can never change)-keep loving and praying for them from afar.so to answer the question it depends on the person and how the relationship ended.

Ps-if u re dating someone try to find out about how they were raised.a lot of people weren't raised on LOVE.while others,were raised on SURVIVAL.That's why you see a lot of men/women not being able to love properly(Hurting people)..y'll find a lot of good looking people damaged by their past.you won't realize how damaged they are until you try to love them.if you think a person's past doesn't affect how they see life you are clearly mistaken.

3.Why do we have so many exes in the same circle?
Ermm this happens quite a lot,the lesbian sphere in Nigeria especially Lagos is very small( people like to think otherwise tho).anyways,I met someone a month ago-we just hit it off and became really good friends and she was really excited to introduce me to her girlfriend.finally we met up and I found out that she one of my exes from university.i played it cool and didn't even act like I knew her(we were cordial after we broke up..but I got the feeling she didn't want her girlfriend to know we had a past).it has happened to some of my friends quite a lot.
To answer ur question explicitly,I would say nobody goes into a relationship being pessimistic of the outcome,circumstances happen(cheating,lying,not getting along etc).I dated some of my exes definitely thinking they were going to be my wife someday.Life happens yo..you can't help it sometimes ..you just have many exes-ur present boo is someone's ex too.

Sorry it's quite a read..Happy Sunday y'all 

 

I enjoyed every bit of this. I lapped it up like a thirsty p**sy...

I meant pussycat. Same way a thirsty cat laps up milk. 

[Txunamy]

I can't go back to an EX. There is a reason why an EX is an EX. 

I've always been in long term relationships . And there is a reason why they ended.

However, I need to run into one before I can say for sure that fire won't be ignited, and sparks won't fly. 

[Phegore]

11 minutes ago, Ivyy said:

I enjoyed every bit of this. I lapped it up like a thirsty p**sy...

I meant pussycat. Same way a thirsty cat laps up milk. 

😂😂😂 bad chide.

[Michelle]

Not likely to happen. They're an ex for a reason.