What are the dark sides of falling in love?

[Dipbluesae]

(Very long, read patiently)

Falling in love isn't hard, in fact it is a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to do anything, that's why it's called falling in love. People in love sometimes say,"I was swept off my feet", picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. The truth is, you don't fall in love with a person. You fall in love with how a person makes you feel.

The best people don’t just love. They sacrifice. That’s what true love is. It’s less something that we fall into and more something that we kneel before. We enter it knowing less of what it means to complete oneself and more of what it means to enhance one another. We haven’t come here to gain anything. We’ve come here to take a piece of ourselves and hand it to someone else with no expectation of what comes next. There’s no “better half”. I’m not “improving you” or making you “complete”, I’m just enriching an experience because life is greater shared. So if you decide to build your entire life around a person, when he/she leaves, it will create a void. After all, everything in life comes at a price, even love, especially love.

The best lovers however, live on. And if that’s you, it burns. In some way all of your benevolence has now contributed to nothing but pain. You can’t be there anymore for someone else. They’ve grown up. They fall. They hurt. They think of you. But you’re not there. You’re gone physically. You’re gone mentally. You’re gone in this life and the next.

While in love, you bare your soul to that person. Tell him all your secrets, show him all your sides, bring out the child in you. You lower your guards and make yourself vulnerable to that one person and later on perhaps they leave like it meant nothing

Back to the question now, these are the dark sides of falling in love:

*Having expectations and relying too much on someone emotionally. Well, that hurts. And if it's completely one sided, am afraid. 

*You forget your self respect, your self esteem and your own importance simply because the other person is important to you too. Regardless of being stripped of your self worth, you shall be left.

*Numbers blocked. Facebook profile blocked. Whatsapp blocked. What about your memories? How do you block them?

*You cannot believe it's over when you recall all those promises that were made to you. A part of you will always tell you that maybe all of this is a dream. Only it isn't.

*You are emotionally handicapped and romantically paralyzed for an indefinite period of time. You cannot trust anyone again. Love scares you for a while. You build walls of iron around you.

*It doesn't fade away when you want it to. The more you try to forget what happened,the more you will get reminded of it.

*The constant dilemma- Should I move on or should i hold on.

*Wet pillows. Wet bedsheet. Wet notebooks. Some people cant even cry. Basically, you have to die in order to move on.

*Forget about controlling your mind and heart actually it will control you. You will be subdued by them.

*The principle of interest: The person who is least involved has more control over the relationship. Humans are difficult to understand and so is their relationship with others. They have different ways of expressing love for one another. A person who is more involved has least control over the relationship and vice versa. People will forever want what they can’t have, and it is common to both men and women. There is something powerful about it. For e.g., when your partner ignores your text message, you have the urge to send more and more text, and some may even get panic attacks. The one to care more, usually suffers. People who are more involved are more vulnerable. Of course, they are sensitive and it’s not a bad thing, but others may take undue advantage. To some, you’ll be the person who texts first and for some, you’ll be someone who doesn’t reply and takes for granted. But that’s the circle of life. Two people hardly ever have the same feelings, emotions, and dependency as the other. It feels great to be in love with someone, but if you’re the one more involved, it’s not always a fun ride. That’s the darker side of love, isn’t it?

*When you don't get your love, you are depressed like hell and only God can save you. The darkest side of falling in love is to fall in love with the wrong person. And to be emotionally attached and fully dependent on that person. It makes you devastated. It changes you. It makes you lose faith in love. It makes you lose yourself.Sometimes, It’s better to be with no one than to be with the wrong one. Love never fails, but people in love do, and this never changes. Most times, that is the price you pay for being true in love and falling in love when it is unrequited. You lose yourself in the process and forget that you are important too and you forget to love yourself! Even after your heart is shattered, you still crave for that person of being with you. Love gives you the happiness of your lifetime but if it doesn’t work out, it might leave you scarred for life. A failed love story more often than kills a caring heart.

*Heart given once to someone, can't be taken back. Your love is only for the person, whom you have loved and it doesn't die or vanish, it is irreplaceable.

When we are not blind enough to see the dark side of falling in love, we realize that the dark side always existed and it will always exist.

Most of the times, the only thing that makes falling in love look bright is you. You cover all the dark sides with all your love and romanticized assumptions. And that does not make the dark side disappear. We fill ourselves with someone so much that when we realize that they are not really into us, then the only thing that remains is the dark emptiness. It was always there, we were blind enough not to see that. As long as we are falling in love, there will always be dark sides. And as long as we are rising in love, there will always be a way out of the dark sides.There is no dark side of falling in love, really. Matter of fact, it’s all dark.

(These are contributions from people, feel free to add yours)

 

[kimi]

Hmmm... I enjoyed reading this. Although I don't agree with every thought, I still found it interesting.

A wise man once said: "Love is an act of faith, not an exchange." and I tend to agree with him. True love that is.

I also don't subscribe to comparing the way two people love to determine who loves more or less. There simply isn't any basis for comparison in my opinion. It's like comparing apples with oranges. Considering we are all uniquely different, shaped by our diverse backgrounds and experiences, what one may term as inadequate could very well be that lover's best.

At the end of the day, I think satisfaction should be gained in knowing that each has given what they can and has loved the best they possibly can