Excerpts from my Diary 2013; My HOD (4)

[Keke]

14^th May 2013

My mind is playing strange tricks on me. I went to bed last night thinking of when last I kissed a girl. I thought of trying out every single colour in the lipstick set on Doc. Kissing each off before I tried on the next. I fantasized about different flavours off her lips: vanilla, chocolate, honey...

I rebuked such thoughts from my mind as I remembered my promise to my mother.

Never to give in to the works of the devil. Sigh!

Ever since mum found out that I am a lesbian, it has been one emotional blackmail after the other. One prayer house after the other. I got physically and mentally exhausted, I caved in and admitted to being delivered. I even gave a testimony in our close knit prayer group. I was celebrated. I have never been as depressed as I was that period.

She blamed my father for sending me to school in the UK.

She would always end up with, “they come back with all sorts of nonsense!”.

I didn’t bother telling her that I already had all sorts of nonsense before I left for the UK. If providence has decided that UK will take the blame, who am I to say otherwise?

When I saw Doc at work today, my heart skipped a beat.

I stuttered when she asked me a question.

For the first time I truly looked at her. She had on a dress made of blue Ankara gown and matching hijab. Was that silk? I don’t know. I am not good at recognising materials.

She should be 5’5” ? Dark skinned. Under her dress and Hijab, I could see tell-tale signs of voluminous breasts. The way her dress flared at her hips was indication that Doc is a well endowed woman.

Dr. Fauziya Adam is a beautiful woman who seemed oblivious of the fact that she is beautiful.

***

15^th May 2013

I woke up today feeling very elated. I had slept off last night fantasizing about my HOD. I had flash fantasies of her longs legs flying around in the air as she pleaded with me never to do to another woman the things I do to her.

I want her. I am going to have her.

I made fruit salad this morning.

There was something different about this one. Don’t ask me what Diary, I will come to that.

Okay, what the heck!

I took it to work today.

I always feel bold until I get to her door.

“What is this Miss Ego?" she asked when I brought out the flask from the bag in which I brought it to work and presented it to my Muse.

“It is nothing serious Doc. Just fruit salad.”

“What on earth? Did nobody tell you that we aren’t running a kitchen here? This is an office….”

“Where living humans work, where every one has lunch but you!” I interrupted.

She gave me a shocked look. “This should be the last time you cut in when I am speaking. Is that clear?” she said in a calm voice that would have sent chills down anyones spine.

“Most definitely Doc. Please accept my most sincere apologies. Its just that you look exhausted by the time its close of work. I felt you do not have to work so hard and eat only twice a day assuming you have breakfast. I will make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

She gave the wave of dismissal and despite my burning anger and humiliation, I couldn’t help but to admire her dainty fingers.

Oh well, I refuse to lose my job over a piece of fine ass. I give up!

I was about to turn the door knob when I heard something that made my skip several beats.

“Let me see what you made.”

 

1st April 2013

Believe anything I tell you today.

Happy April Fools day.

These past weeks, I doubled up as chef and dietitian.

I now take the lunch packs to Doc during her break time. We discuss work as she eats. Still the professional. No second is to be wasted.

If she were a man, it could have easily been branded office romance by anyone observing.

In between work discussions, personal conversations began to creep in. Few days back, I got to find out that one of her greatest fears was being overweight. I didn’t see the sense in that. A few here and there would actually look good on her. But then, who am I to question Milady’s desires? That’s how I became a dietitian.

Today, I got to know about her divorce after being married to a much older man at the bequest of her parents.

I wanted to know why an educated and accomplished woman as Doc would let that happen to her. She shrugged.

Maybe its time for that bold step.

As she ate today, I stared. I could not talk. How do you know what to say to a woman like this? Probably up to twelve years my senior at age and at the Bar. Freaking cat got my tongue.

“You seem quiet. What is the problem?” her beautiful eyes where searching. “Trouble at home?”

“No. Its just, how is a beautiful woman like you single”

Jeez, that was lame. Of all things to say.

Time stood still.

“You think I am beautiful?”

“You are almost ethereal. I am scared to touch you, thinking you will disappear. If I asked to touch your face, would you deem that unprofessional?”

She stared at me for a while, “I am not into women.”

"I have noticed how you gaze at me, all the attention you gave me, but I just did not want to make assumptions".

“That’s all right Doc. I am very sorry about my behaviour.”

She still had that calm look. “So this is what all this has been all about? You caring about my health blah blah blah!”

My heart sank.

“Just because you wanted some lesbian action.”

“I am sorry you feel this way Doc. I didn’t ever imagine being that way with you.” (I know that’s a lie but I cannot help it now)

“I only wanted you to know that I care very deeply for you, I might be a lesbian but it has all been platonic to me.” Goodness! I am blabbing.

“you are not even afraid,” she went on. “This is Nigeria! It did not cross your mind that this could affect your job? That I could be homophobic?”

“I am very sorry Ma”

“Don’t call me that!”

“I am sorry Doc. Please excuse me. Your break time is over. If this is going to affect my job, I would not be as bothered as I would be about it affecting our friendship. If you can, forget this ever happened and we can go back to being friends. If the lunch I bring now disgusts you now, I will put an end to it.”

“Now that is so rude!” she was pacing already. She sat down and gave the wave of dismissal. Its been ages. I deserve it.

[kimi]

Hahahahaha. Bravo. Bravo. Bravo!!

I laughed. Very well articulated piece.

Favourites: 

1 hour ago, Keke said:

She blamed my father for sending me to school in the UK.

 

She would always end up with, “they come back with all sorts of nonsense!”.

 

I didn’t bother telling her that I already had all sorts of nonsense before I left for the UK. If providence has decided that UK will take the blame, who am I to say otherwise?

And 

 

1 hour ago, Keke said:

she was pacing already. She sat down and gave the wave of dismissal. Its been ages. I deserve it.

👏🏽

[Txunamy]

Nice one keke..☺ 

I totally enjoyed the read.. 

I lapped it all up like a thirsty p**sy 

 

Cat. 

[Damiee]

I really liked this. Can’t wait for the next diary entry 😁

[Dipbluesae]

aww enjoyed this..