Midnighter Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 I dont have a gaydar to save my life. The number of times I have mistaken outright flirting for "that Lady is so nice" is hilarious. Anyhow back to the topic, some "research" has claimed gaydar is a myth and just an avenue to stereotype people based on either their fashion, behavior or lifestyle choices. What is everyone's view on this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 15, 2018 Moderators Share Posted March 15, 2018 I like this topic. In my opinion, alot of the time, I think it is. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 There could be a 'truth' there.. To a large extent, I believe gaydar is stereotyping people. Because going by the definition of gaydar, its the intuitive ability of a person to access another's sexual orientation from cues, loud or subtle indications and which of course is largely based on fashion, behavior and lifestyle choices like you rightly mentioned. Using myself as a case study, the times when I have felt my gaydar was the most active, was when I have seen girls who give off a tomboy vibe(not necessarily dressed as one) girls who have flirtatious eyes, and a come-hither smile.. That's being stereotypical. ☺ So many lesbians give nothing away, so with people like that you would think your gaydar is broken, but no, it isn't. It's only because they are not giving you the stereotypical vibes you are used to getting. But then, leaning on my intuition, which is key in having a gaydar, I have never been wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 13 minutes ago, Ivyy said: There could be a 'truth' there.. To a large extent, I believe gaydar is stereotyping people. Because going by the definition of gaydar, its the intuitive ability of a person to access another's sexual orientation from cues, loud or subtle indications and which of course is largely based on fashion, behavior and lifestyle choices like you rightly mentioned. Using myself as a case study, the times when I have felt my gaydar was the most active, was when I have seen girls who give off a tomboy vibe(not necessarily dressed as one) girls who have flirtatious eyes, and a come-hither smile.. That's being stereotypical. ☺ So many lesbians give nothing away, so with people like that you would think your gaydar is broken, but no, it isn't. It's only because they are not giving you the stereotypical vibes you are used to getting. But then, leaning on my intuition, which is key in having a gaydar, I have never been wrong. Teach me your ways oh Sensei! If your are correct that gaydar is mostly stereotyping, is it wrong then? Will you like to be stereotyped, not just on your sexuality, it could apply to any aspects of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 17 minutes ago, kimi said: I like this topic. In my opinion, alot of the time, I think it is. Lol. What are your views on stereotyping then? From my point of view, it can be seen as a cop out of some sort. Not willing to put in work to know about the person. Dont get me wrong, i wish my gaydar was A1 but I love conversations on stereotypes and there application in everyday life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 24 minutes ago, Midnighter said: Teach me your ways oh Sensei! If your are correct that gaydar is mostly stereotyping, is it wrong then? Will you like to be stereotyped, not just on your sexuality, it could apply to any aspects of your life. Lol @ oh sensei.. I need me a sensei. I am still learning. 😁 I wouldn't say it's wrong. Most gay people rely on their gaydar to know who to approach and who not to.. Gaydar is good.. Until it fails you.. 😁 And no, I wouldn't want to be stereotyped.. I wanted to get a crazy hairstyle, but when the stylist told me that people would think I am a lesbian if I do, the fear of being stereotyped held me back. Sadly, that's the world we live in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 8 minutes ago, Ivyy said: Lol @ oh sensei.. I need me a sensei. I am still learning. 😁 I wouldn't say it's wrong. Most gay people rely on their gaydar to know who to approach and who not to.. Gaydar is good.. Until it fails you.. 😁 And no, I wouldn't want to be stereotyped.. I wanted to get a crazy hairstyle, but when the stylist told me that people would think I am a lesbian if I do, the fear of being stereotyped held me back. Sadly, that's the world we live in. And no, I dont think I am correct, I could be wrong, I don't have the right answers to these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 15, 2018 Moderators Share Posted March 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Midnighter said: What are your views on stereotyping then? From my point of view, it can be seen as a cop out of some sort. Not willing to put in work to know about the person. Dont get me wrong, i wish my gaydar was A1 but I love conversations on stereotypes and there application in everyday life. My views? It's human nature to fit people into the proverbial box. Lol. I honestly wouldn't want to be detected... there are times when I have felt that perhaps this has occured and I literally feel my heart sink. The only time I am eager to have one read me accurately is when/if I like them, not necessarily for the purpose of having a relationship with them. E.g. there's someone at work who I wouldn't mind guessing me out. Just in case it has crossed your mind -heck no! Never telling her. Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 59 minutes ago, Ivyy said: Gaydar is good.. Until it fails you.. 😁 This right here is one of the reasons I wouldnt rely on a gaydar. The fear of being wrong and all the dramas that would come with it in this country. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 20 minutes ago, kimi said: . E.g. there's someone at work who I wouldn't mind guessing me out. Have you figured out the reason you would want her to guess? A slight interest on your part or the hidding gets tiring sometimes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damiee Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 Sometimes it’s stereotyping. Other times, it’s one party or the other giving or getting a “vibe”. I’ve gotten that vibe a number of times mid-conversation. Of course, there is no way to tell if I’m right or wrong and I’ll be the first person to say that my gaydar is faulty 😁. In this case though, stereotyping is not wrong, saves time. That is, for those looking to meet people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 15, 2018 Moderators Share Posted March 15, 2018 10 minutes ago, Midnighter said: Have you figured out the reason you would want her to guess? A slight interest on your part or the hidding gets tiring sometimes? Hahahaha. Not at all. She reminds me too much of someone I love. So I naturally have a soft spot for her and won't mind her knowing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 I think gayder is a renamed instinct. Many people have higher instincts than others therefore have more accurate detective to cues and clues. Whether it is good or bad is mostly dependent on timing and target. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I'm a useless lesbian. If I should rely on intuition/gaydar, I'd probably die single. In this case, gaydar could be a good stereotype especially to those who are very good at it. it's saves lots of asses. Lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 19 hours ago, ChazBee said: I think gayder is a renamed instinct. Many people have higher instincts than others therefore have more accurate detective to cues and clues. Whether it is good or bad is mostly dependent on timing and target. Instinct! That is another way of looking at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 9 hours ago, Gimbiyya said: I'm a useless lesbian. If I should rely on intuition/gaydar, I'd probably die single. Lmaoooooo. You really cant be as terrible as I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Yup, it is stereotyping mostly but it works when it does because life makes sure to always leave clues. For instance , I was shocked when someone told us that a lot of queer ladies loved being nude as kids and it follows some of them into adulthood. Somehow, a lot of queer ladies tend to be athletic by nature and mostly have an analytical / logical mind . Rough playing kinda girls, playing / fighting upandan with the boys, preferring certain types of toys.... Clues. Anyways, my gaydar's engine has knocked. But the few times it works, it works well.... Basically I look at mannerisms and body language a lot. If the lady has even a trace of masculinity, no matter how subtle, I will pick it. But if she's completely feminine presenting, wahala dey. Personally, there's only one successful way to find me out and that's my eyes. My gaze can be rather intense. So I just don't look into peoples eyes as often as I can avoid it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 41 minutes ago, dequeen said: Yup, it is stereotyping mostly but it works when it does because life makes sure to always leave clues. For instance , I was shocked when someone told us that a lot of queer ladies loved being nude as kids and it follows some of them into adulthood. Somehow, a lot of queer ladies tend to be athletic by nature and mostly have an analytical / logical mind . Rough playing kinda girls, playing / fighting upandan with the boys, preferring certain types of toys.... Clues. Anyways, my gaydar's engine has knocked. But the few times it works, it works well.... Basically I look at mannerisms and body language a lot. If the lady has even a trace of masculinity, no matter how subtle, I will pick it. But if she's completely feminine presenting, wahala dey. Personally, there's only one successful way to find me out and that's my eyes. My gaze can be rather intense. So I just don't look into peoples eyes as often as I can avoid it. Hahahahaha! I can relate with going nude as a kid.. I used to run around the house topless, and my mum would always scold me and tell me to put on clothes. Another thing I did alot while growing up was sitting carelessly. I could never keep my legs closed.till date, I still struggle with that, reason I prefer pants to skirts and gowns most time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stnunus Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I've found that most very feminine lesbians are very touchy feely especially if they are interested in you and seeing as am a little butch_y I let them touch until the time is right then I cope a feel and if she says go ahead then you know the rest can be bliss-filled history,lol😝😝 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 16, 2018 Moderators Share Posted March 16, 2018 16 minutes ago, Stnunus said: I've found that most very feminine lesbians are very touchy feely Feminine lesbians do you agree? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 Just now, kimi said: Feminine lesbians do you agree? I will also like to know the answer to this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnighter Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 2 hours ago, dequeen said: For instance , I was shocked when someone told us that a lot of queer ladies loved being nude as kids and it follows some of them into adulthood Wow, i did not know this. I am a huge nudist. The highlight of my day is getting home and getting naked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 On 3/16/2018 at 7:35 PM, kimi said: Feminine lesbians do you agree? Lol yea but I can't speak for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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