Bisexual invisibility: taking the B out of LGBT

[Covfefe]

Bisexual invisibility or bisexual erasure according to Wiki is the " tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, the news media, and other primary sources. In some cases it may include denial of this sexuality or sheer biphobia. 

To Kenji Yoshino, there are three main things that may motivate the cultural erasure of bisexuality, both from homosexuals and heterosexuals. The first is sexual orientation stabilization, and this stems from the assumption that bisexuals are indecisive or that they are straight or gay folks in transition. This often manifests as biphobia within and outside the community. 
Then there is the need to uphold the importance of gender, and trying not to blur the binary lines of sexuality here,which majority believe is challenged by bisexuality. Finally, there is the need to maintain monogamous relationships, which bisexuals are thought to flaunt. From these assertions, it can be deduced that bisexuality appears as an aberration(being unable to pick a side), something not determined or decided by an identity label, and something not existing within the confines of the law of black and white.

The next question is who has it worse, or how true is the notion that bisexual men face more hostility than bisexual women?I think it's the reverse. Most bisexual men are haunted by the thought of sexual 'fluidity', believing that this denies them the right to politically align with gay men.The stereotype attached to most bi-men is that as bisexuals that they are gay, but are not fully out yet. This makes it super hard to date women (because they think you are gay), and it makes it pretty hard to date men because they think you are still partially in the closet and most guys don't want to deal with that stuff. Talk about being a bad bisexual. *Bland face emoji. And for the ladies, some men find it sexy that the lady they are about to get down with has already done it with different ladies, it seems the thought of having sex with a girl and her past gets it kinky. But it is not really all that rosy for bi-women, I mean they still have to face that bias from lesbians who believe that bisexual women are promiscuous 'queer apologetics' and 'gold star lesbians, so constantly switching sides or only sleep with ladies for fun as they'll eventually end up with men. These all become a huge problem when bisexuality has to contend with the two mainstream sexualities, homosexuality and heterosexuality, in a society that still views bisexuality as a pitstop to gayville or heterodom. Also,bisexuality as a legit sexuality is currently overlooked in the same sex debate, where the inclusion or exclusion of the bisexual person here depends on the gender of the person she/he wants to marry. This does not only lead to their marginalisation, but also limits their ability of expression within queer circles.
In addition, there is that overpowering need by the media to blur the lines. This is evident in the cases of personalities like Lady Gaga, Madonna, Kristen Stewart, Cynthia Nixon and Ani DiFranco, who are all openly bisexual but are given either the straight or gay tag when it appears 'convenient'.
It becomes problematic when bisexuality is viewed as "a privilege in order to be accepted within normative structures of sexuality and human relations. This privileged position, within a hetero-normative framework of gender and sexuality, allows for the misrepresentation and inclusion of these experiences. A woman who is feminine and bi-sexual can "pass" as straight if presently engaged in hetero-normative/straight sexual acts. In this case, femininity acts as a privilege within the queer context".

Biphobia: excluding the B from the LGBT.
The LGBT is where the B is supposed to feel safe and comfortable, but what happens when home becomes a war front you have to run away from, when biphobic slurs exist even in the midst of what you consider a queer haven? And these slurs are proof of a 'nauseating invalidation' of bisexuality in queer spaces.
According to Joel Lucyszyn, we must " dispel the myth that bisexual people benefit benefit from heterosexual privilege. While bisexual people can – and it’s sad that we often feel we have to – ‘pass as straight’ while in heterosexual relationships, any out and confidently bisexual person suffers the same at the hands of homophobia as lesbians or gay men".
And it doesn't just stop here, like "no homophobe will look at a bisexual man differently because he sleeps with women. The guys who shout ‘faggot’ at you in the street won’t stop to ask if you also like girls, and frankly, they don’t care. It is the threat of same-sex love, as real in bisexuals as in homosexuals, that is targeted and vilified. In fact, it’s often worse for bisexual people: the conceptions of bisexuals as unsafe, promiscuous and untrustworthy stems partly from the AIDS epidemic, where bisexual men were seen as ‘infecting’ the straight community with a disease they were keen to see isolated in queer people. The hostility of straight people toward bisexuals as ‘infiltrators’ is regrettably mirrored in the LGBT community, where we are consistently degraded and excluded for our heterosexual experiences and relationships".
I think Biphobia in queer space is pure ungratefulness, like totally ignoring the pioneering efforts and struggles of bisexual people from the first ever pride parade to date.
And finally, "bisexual people should never be apologetic on behalf of their identity, and we should assert the validity of our presence in queer spaces. But make no mistake: the onus is on monosexuals in the LGBT community to educate themselves on these issues, rather than taxing their bisexual friends and colleagues with the emotional labour of inquiry".

Links
https://www.varsity.co.uk/features/13617
https://www.google.com.ng/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/3njuhz/why_is_there_such_a_huge_biphobia_issue_in_the/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure

[kimi]

Thanks for this

[Hawken]

Yes yes yes, but bisexual people benefit from heterosexual privilege. It is not a myth.

[Covfefe]

1 hour ago, Hawken said:

Yes yes yes, but bisexual people benefit from heterosexual privilege. It is not a myth.

How? What heterosexual privilege please? 

And what about lesbians, when the idea of two naked women may not be 'entirely bad' to most straight men. Them loving two women together equates to a certain kind of acceptance don't you think?

You think these homophobes won't lynch you simply because you are 'normal' half of the time?

I guess I'll have to come out to my mother and see how she reacts to fact that I'm 'half-normal' sometimes.

[dreamgal]

24 minutes ago, Covfefe said:

How? What heterosexual privilege please? 

And what about lesbians, when the idea of two naked women may not be 'entirely bad' to most straight men. Them loving two women together equates to a certain kind of acceptance don't you think?

You think these homophobes won't lynch you simply because you are 'normal' half of the time?

I guess I'll have to come out to my mother and see how she reacts to fact that I'm 'half-normal' sometimes.

Bisexuals come out too?  *grin*

[Midnighter]

10 hours ago, Covfefe said:

Bisexual invisibility or bisexual erasure according to Wiki is the " tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, the news media, and other primary sources. In some cases it may include denial of this sexuality or sheer biphobia. 

To Kenji Yoshino, there are three main things that may motivate the cultural erasure of bisexuality, both from homosexuals and heterosexuals. The first is sexual orientation stabilization, and this stems from the assumption that bisexuals are indecisive or that they are straight or gay folks in transition. This often manifests as biphobia within and outside the community. 
Then there is the need to uphold the importance of gender, and trying not to blur the binary lines of sexuality here,which majority believe is challenged by bisexuality. Finally, there is the need to maintain monogamous relationships, which bisexuals are thought to flaunt. From these assertions, it can be deduced that bisexuality appears as an aberration(being unable to pick a side), something not determined or decided by an identity label, and something not existing within the confines of the law of black and white.

The next question is who has it worse, or how true is the notion that bisexual men face more hostility than bisexual women?I think it's the reverse. Most bisexual men are haunted by the thought of sexual 'fluidity', believing that this denies them the right to politically align with gay men.The stereotype attached to most bi-men is that as bisexuals that they are gay, but are not fully out yet. This makes it super hard to date women (because they think you are gay), and it makes it pretty hard to date men because they think you are still partially in the closet and most guys don't want to deal with that stuff. Talk about being a bad bisexual. *Bland face emoji. And for the ladies, some men find it sexy that the lady they are about to get down with has already done it with different ladies, it seems the thought of having sex with a girl and her past gets it kinky. But it is not really all that rosy for bi-women, I mean they still have to face that bias from lesbians who believe that bisexual women are promiscuous 'queer apologetics' and 'gold star lesbians, so constantly switching sides or only sleep with ladies for fun as they'll eventually end up with men. These all become a huge problem when bisexuality has to contend with the two mainstream sexualities, homosexuality and heterosexuality, in a society that still views bisexuality as a pitstop to gayville or heterodom. Also,bisexuality as a legit sexuality is currently overlooked in the same sex debate, where the inclusion or exclusion of the bisexual person here depends on the gender of the person she/he wants to marry. This does not only lead to their marginalisation, but also limits their ability of expression within queer circles.
In addition, there is that overpowering need by the media to blur the lines. This is evident in the cases of personalities like Lady Gaga, Madonna, Kristen Stewart, Cynthia Nixon and Ani DiFranco, who are all openly bisexual but are given either the straight or gay tag when it appears 'convenient'.
It becomes problematic when bisexuality is viewed as "a privilege in order to be accepted within normative structures of sexuality and human relations. This privileged position, within a hetero-normative framework of gender and sexuality, allows for the misrepresentation and inclusion of these experiences. A woman who is feminine and bi-sexual can "pass" as straight if presently engaged in hetero-normative/straight sexual acts. In this case, femininity acts as a privilege within the queer context".

Biphobia: excluding the B from the LGBT.
The LGBT is where the B is supposed to feel safe and comfortable, but what happens when home becomes a war front you have to run away from, when biphobic slurs exist even in the midst of what you consider a queer haven? And these slurs are proof of a 'nauseating invalidation' of bisexuality in queer spaces.
According to Joel Lucyszyn, we must " dispel the myth that bisexual people benefit benefit from heterosexual privilege. While bisexual people can – and it’s sad that we often feel we have to – ‘pass as straight’ while in heterosexual relationships, any out and confidently bisexual person suffers the same at the hands of homophobia as lesbians or gay men".
And it doesn't just stop here, like "no homophobe will look at a bisexual man differently because he sleeps with women. The guys who shout ‘faggot’ at you in the street won’t stop to ask if you also like girls, and frankly, they don’t care. It is the threat of same-sex love, as real in bisexuals as in homosexuals, that is targeted and vilified. In fact, it’s often worse for bisexual people: the conceptions of bisexuals as unsafe, promiscuous and untrustworthy stems partly from the AIDS epidemic, where bisexual men were seen as ‘infecting’ the straight community with a disease they were keen to see isolated in queer people. The hostility of straight people toward bisexuals as ‘infiltrators’ is regrettably mirrored in the LGBT community, where we are consistently degraded and excluded for our heterosexual experiences and relationships".
I think Biphobia in queer space is pure ungratefulness, like totally ignoring the pioneering efforts and struggles of bisexual people from the first ever pride parade to date.
And finally, "bisexual people should never be apologetic on behalf of their identity, and we should assert the validity of our presence in queer spaces. But make no mistake: the onus is on monosexuals in the LGBT community to educate themselves on these issues, rather than taxing their bisexual friends and colleagues with the emotional labour of inquiry".

Links
https://www.varsity.co.uk/features/13617
https://www.google.com.ng/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/3njuhz/why_is_there_such_a_huge_biphobia_issue_in_the/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure

I will always reference this. Thank you.

All i have ever felt about my sexuality in reference to bias has been accurately captured here. 

Thanks a lot.

[Covfefe]

2 hours ago, dreamgal said:

Bisexuals come out too?  *grin*

Nah, they stay in.

[Covfefe]

1 hour ago, Midnighter said:

I will always reference this. Thank you.

All i have ever felt about my sexuality in reference to bias has been accurately captured here. 

Thanks a lot.

😚😚

[scarlet]

13 hours ago, Covfefe said:

Biphobia: excluding the B from the LGBT.
The LGBT is where the B is supposed to feel safe and comfortable, but what happens when home becomes a war front you have to run away from, when biphobic slurs exist even in the midst of what you consider a queer haven?

I'm more particular about the other phobias existent in the LGBTQIA+ community  inclusively "biphobia."

Does any of  sexual/gender minorities feel safe in these  "supposed Queer haven" as to LGBTQIA+ for all queer people in the community?  Are trans people, effeminate gay men, asexuals  pansexuals and so many unnamed  not maginalised and somewhat negated within the same queer space too?  and no,  I'm not digressing. In as much as  emphasis are made to wane  biphobia within  the queer space,  we should also consider eradicating all phobias lurking around the LGBT community.  Or do you think it's just the bi community?  Until queer people learn to purge themselves of all this phobias they have for themselves,  we still have long way to go . 

 

 

 

 

[Covfefe]

1 minute ago, scarlet said:

I'm more particular about the other phobias existent in the LGBTQIA+ community  inclusively "biphobia."

Does any of  sexual/gender minorities feel safe in these  "supposed Queer space " as to LGBTQIA+ for all queer people in  community?  Are trans people, effeminate gay men, asexuals  pansexuals and so many unnamed  not maginalised and somewhat negated within the same queer space too?  and no,  I'm not digressing. In as much as  emphasis are made to wane  biphobia within  the queer space,  we should also consider eradicating all phobias lurking around the LGBT community.  Or do you think it's just the bi community?  Until queer people learn to purge themselves of all this phobias they have for themselves,  we still have long way to go . 

 

 

 

 

I agree. Though this post specifically addresses Biphobia, and not the other phobias. 

And don't be like those men who suddenly remember that men are raped too whenever women talk about rape.

You can actually write a piece about the other phobias. Thanks for the insightful comment though.

[Hawken]

11 hours ago, Covfefe said:

How? What heterosexual privilege please? 

And what about lesbians, when the idea of two naked women may not be 'entirely bad' to most straight men. Them loving two women together equates to a certain kind of acceptance don't you think?

You think these homophobes won't lynch you simply because you are 'normal' half of the time?

I guess I'll have to come out to my mother and see how she reacts to fact that I'm 'half-normal' sometimes.

😆😆 tbh I'm all for Bisexuals. I fuxks with them. But the bias mainly stems from the fact that it seems they are eating their cake and having it. They could decide to be "normal" if they wanted and quiet easily too. Lesbian and gay people can't. In other words bisexuals get a choice, gay people don't.

As for lesbian privilege, it does equate some form of acceptance but people will always accept things that work for them. Straight men can imagine themselves with two women so its logical that they are more accepting of it. But if push comes to shove, a homophobe who likes the idea of two women together, if given the power to abolish homosexuality, will either ways.

 

[Covfefe]

1 hour ago, Hawken said:

😆😆 tbh I'm all for Bisexuals. I fuxks with them. But the bias mainly stems from the fact that it seems they are eating their cake and having it. They could decide to be "normal" if they wanted and quiet easily too. Lesbian and gay people can't. In other words bisexuals get a choice, gay people don't.

As for lesbian privilege, it does equate some form of acceptance but people will always accept things that work for them. Straight men can imagine themselves with two women so its logical that they are more accepting of it. But if push comes to shove, a homophobe who likes the idea of two women together, if given the power to abolish homosexuality, will either ways.

 

Eating your cake and having it all doesn't save you from the vitriol or from 'eternal damnation'. 

And choice here is like saying you can 'choose' not to be bi, gay or straight. You don't tell your heart whom to beat for.

Sincerely, we are the freaks here. The bats, neither aerial nor terrestrial.

[Mimy]

9 hours ago, Covfefe said:

And choice here is like saying you can 'choose' not to be bi, gay or straight. You don't tell your heart whom to beat for.

Nope. I think what she meant by choice here is, since bisexuals can feel for guys what they feel for girls, they have the choice of being with guys, it's relatively easier for them to be 'normal' in an extremely homophobic society where same sex attraction can get you in jail. Hence the privilege.  

I think this biphobic of a thing steamed from the bitter experiences lesbians/ gay guys encountered from bisexuals, ranging from bisexuals dumping their gay asses for straight girls and guys (as the case be) when they eventually want to settle down to their unwillingness to commit to same sex relationships and all. However this is not to justify the prejudices against them. People are different. Being an as****h**le is not gender or sexuality specific. 

PS: does not wanting to date bisexuals equal biphobic? I believe lots of gay people are super cool with bisexuals but don't just want to go into dating business with them. 

[Covfefe]

9 minutes ago, Gimbiyya said:

Nope. I think what she meant by choice here is, since bisexuals can feel for guys what they feel for girls, they have the choice of being with guys, it's relatively easier for them to be 'normal' in an extremely homophobic society where same sex attraction can get you in jail. Hence the privilege.  

I think this biphobic of a thing steamed from the bitter experiences lesbians/ gay guys encountered from bisexuals, ranging from bisexuals dumping their gay asses for straight girls and guys (as the case be) when they eventually want to settle down to their unwillingness to commit to same sex relationships and all. However this is not to justify the prejudices against them. People are different. Being an as****h**le is not gender or sexuality specific. 

PS: does not wanting to date bisexuals equal biphobic? I believe lots of gay people are super cool with bisexuals but don't just want to go into dating business with them. 

Thanks for your contribution.

There's a bi-scale you know,something that measures where or which direction you lean more towards. Mine is 80-20, 80 for girls. But I'm telling you that a homophobe would care shit that the 20% there is for guys. They'll still hate me all the same. The bias is from both sides, same way most lesbians wouldn't want to have anything with bi-women, it also applies to most straight men. Being Bisexual is like being a black woman in the diaspora, you suffer both racism and sexism at the same time. 

As for the cheating thing associated with bisexuals, I'll say it's an individual thing. And also a stereotype, same way most people believe that queer folks are always fvcking. Not that it's a bad thing though. LOL

And not wanting to date bi-women may be a manifestation of Biphobia.

[boldie]

On 3/19/2018 at 9:12 AM, Covfefe said:

Thanks for your contribution.

There's a bi-scale you know,something that measures where or which direction you lean more towards. Mine is 80-20, 80 for girls. But I'm telling you that a homophobe would care shit that the 20% there is for guys. They'll still hate me all the same. The bias is from both sides, same way most lesbians wouldn't want to have anything with bi-women, it also applies to most straight men. Being Bisexual is like being a black woman in the diaspora, you suffer both racism and sexism at the same time. 

As for the cheating thing associated with bisexuals, I'll say it's an individual thing. And also a stereotype, same way most people believe that queer folks are always fvcking. Not that it's a bad thing though. LOL

And not wanting to date bi-women may be a manifestation of Biphobia.

I love you!!! Chop kiss.

I think the lesbian are just not being fair to us sometimes. They just think we have it easy, like it's not the battle of the wits. And someone asked if bisexuals come out, that was funny.

When I came out to my sister, she was confused. Lesbian she got, both ways she didn't know was a thing. Lol. 

I am 80/20 too. I like romantic affiliations with dudes, sexual to an extent so far the poking is fast and short, I don't like being poked with whatever. Hate dildoes like shit!! But I can trib from now till tomorrow and enjoy every bit of it. Still doesn't mean I don't like to date guys.