Guest Exquisite Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Lately I have been thinking a lot about the issue of abuse amongst lgbtqi which is sadly more rampant than anyone of us agrees to admit. From the excessively controlling ones, to the verbal abusers, the emotional blackmailers, the mental and physical abusers, the chronic possessiveness, the "helpless" attractor of abuser after abuser into their life, the list goes on. First, Abuser, why do you abuse your girlfriend? Second, Abused, why do you stay on with abusive people? Third, Survivers of abuse, when did you first decide that the relationship was abusive, how did you find the courage to move on? Fourth, Everyone else, what are subtle forms of abuse? Just in case some people think only when she hits you physically can it be called abuse. How do you spot an abusive person? Are there usually clues? I could have posted this on the main forum but I felt most people would feel more comfortable opening up anonymously about something this sensitive. That's about it. Let's get this conversation rolling! And please feel free to ask more questions in case I omitted any that bothers you on this issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LeeJ Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 You can't claim to love someone and abuse the person. Abuse is not just physical abuse, some people abuse their partners emotionally and verbally. I think the last two forms of abuse(s) are worst. I can't abuse myself, thus I can't abuse someone I claim to love as myself. If she claims to love you and still abuse you in any form, then that is infatuation or whatever. Relationship should be about building each other to greater heights dazall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Genevieve Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 I think people stay in abusive relationship for a whole lot of reasons. It's a psychological problem that needs to be fixed. They feel that they deserve the abuse and even grow to reverence their abusers. It's easy to judge from the outside but it's a whole battle on its own. I have heard of cases where the abused was forcefully removed from the abuser but kept running back to him. It's a pity that we do not take mental health seriously in Nigeria and we do need more shrinks and counselors. I was once beaten to a pulp by an ex and It wasn't a funny experience. Pheww. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alone Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 On 10/24/2018 at 1:44 PM, Guest Exquisite said: Lately I have been thinking a lot about the issue of abuse amongst lgbtqi which is sadly more rampant than anyone of us agrees to admit. From the excessively controlling ones, to the verbal abusers, the emotional blackmailers, the mental and physical abusers, the chronic possessiveness, the "helpless" attractor of abuser after abuser into their life, the list goes on. First, Abuser, why do you abuse your girlfriend? Second, Abused, why do you stay on with abusive people? Third, Survivers of abuse, when did you first decide that the relationship was abusive, how did you find the courage to move on? Fourth, Everyone else, what are subtle forms of abuse? Just in case some people think only when she hits you physically can it be called abuse. How do you spot an abusive person? Are there usually clues? I could have posted this on the main forum but I felt most people would feel more comfortable opening up anonymously about something this sensitive. That's about it. Let's get this conversation rolling! And please feel free to ask more questions in case I omitted any that bothers you on this issue. If you have not done any of those things you listed up there even to a minimum the you must be an angel or.. a liar You can actually abuse someone without knowing. From withholding what they want from you, to wanting them to yourself while unable to give them nothing in return, and/ using that "tone" on them. There is no one who does not in one way or the other abuse their lover even if they are blind to it. It is only when it becomes an attitude that puts the blame on the partner the abused partner or fail to realize and work on it, then that's a problem. Physical abuse itself however is always a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest US Tomboi Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 On 10/26/2018 at 7:50 AM, Guest Alone said: If you have not done any of those things you listed up there even to a minimum the you must be an angel or.. a liar You can actually abuse someone without knowing. From withholding what they want from you, to wanting them to yourself while unable to give them nothing in return, and/ using that "tone" on them. There is no one who does not in one way or the other abuse their lover even if they are blind to it. It is only when it becomes an attitude that puts the blame on the partner the abused partner or fail to realize and work on it, then that's a problem. Physical abuse itself however is always a problem. Would withholding sex or love making be considered abuse? If so I've been guilty of that. But I get my way 😃 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tiwa Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 19 hours ago, Guest US Tomboi said: Would withholding sex or love making be considered abuse? If so I've been guilty of that. But I get my way 😃 Are we drunk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest US Tomboi Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 10/29/2018 at 2:24 PM, Guest Tiwa said: Are we drunk? Never drunk. Slightly intoxicated sometimes. I don't think holding out is wrong when you're really not in the mood. If you piss me off the shop is closed for business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 On 10/28/2018 at 8:43 PM, Guest US Tomboi said: Would withholding sex or love making be considered abuse? If so I've been guilty of that. But I get my way 😃 Withholding sex is actually abuse when it's intent is to punish your lover.. What is abuse again.. it is punishment nah of any form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest US Tomboi Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 16 hours ago, Guest You alone said: Withholding sex is actually abuse when it's intent is to punish your lover.. What is abuse again.. it is punishment nah of any form. You're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burgundy Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 All the femmes that know nothing about Seduction gat another think coming their way... Seduce her Joe. How can she say she wants no sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 10 minutes ago, Guest Burgundy said: All the femmes that know nothing about Seduction gat another think coming their way... Seduce her Joe. How can she say she wants no sex? I hope you are not the type that beats someone in the morning.. and expects them to sleep with you in the afternoon. Stop saying seduction. It starts in the mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burgundy Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 40 minutes ago, Guest You alone said: I hope you are not the type that beats someone in the morning.. and expects them to sleep with you in the afternoon. Stop saying seduction. It starts in the mind. Are u bored baby? Missing me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nyte Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 51 minutes ago, Guest You alone said: I hope you are not the type that beats someone in the morning.. and expects them to sleep with you in the afternoon. Stop saying seduction. It starts in the mind. Touché! My favorite wine for you. You would drink from a golden goblet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 44 minutes ago, Guest Burgundy said: Are u bored baby? Missing me? I don't miss you.. you're not in every single thing I do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 35 minutes ago, Guest Nyte said: Touché! My favorite wine for you. You would drink from a golden goblet. I'll take that.. is it non-alcoholic? ☺ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zolo Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Benefits of anonymous. Talking to yourself. Respond to yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burgundy Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 5 hours ago, Guest You alone said: I don't miss you.. you're not in every single thing I do.. O? Then I'm in somethings u do! I knew it!. I dont Love u to pieces Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest US Tomboi Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 7 hours ago, Guest You alone said: I don't miss you.. you're not in every single thing I do.. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 5 hours ago, Guest Burgundy said: O? Then I'm in somethings u do! I knew it!. I dont Love u to pieces I do..☺ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You alone Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 5 hours ago, Guest Zolo said: Benefits of anonymous. Talking to yourself. Respond to yourself Only a jobless fellow would..☺ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest You and me Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 6 hours ago, Guest Zolo said: Benefits of anonymous. Talking to yourself. Respond to yourself Hahahahaha Hahahaha Hahahahaha You done smoke abi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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