ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I saw this on Quota and its so apt and on point so I decided to share, I've always had the thought that I am that only one irritated by people's ignorance towards my sexuality but reading this and knowing that it is a worldwide occurrence makes me less mad at the world. You think there are other Underrated Problems? please add, I usually helps when we share points like this knowing that we go about our daily lives learning from each other on self acceptance and what to expect in situations peculiar to us since there's virtually no one else to learn from. What is the most underrated problem in the life of a lesbian? Jennifer Ellis, I believe we should be treated equally under the law Answered Jan 12, 2016 Underrated? I can think of several. 1. Some men seem to think we exist simply to titillate them. They refuse to accept we are gay and/or believe they can change us. If I walk down the street holding the hand of a woman, you would think I am doing so just to appeal to men. God forbid I kiss a woman in public. 2. We tend to be ignored. If you look at tv shows and movies in the mainstream, it is considerably more common for gay men to have roles, not lesbians. We are generally an afterthought. 3. Following up on 2, when we are in movies and tv shows, they often don't know what to do with us. So we end up getting pregnant or adopting children. It is as if they cannot view us outside of motherhood. It seems challenging for people to write lesbian characters which are whole, unique beings outside of motherhood. And there seems to be a fear of romance beyond a kiss. 4. Some people seem to think we don't have "real" sex. You know, no penis, no sex. If you ask me, these people have no imagination. 5. If women have a tendency to be made invisible in our society, lesbians are even more so. 6. People think we hate men. A lot. I like men. I enjoy their company. You know who has a reason to hate men? Straight women. They have to live with men. We don't. Straight men have a reason to hate women. They have to live with them. Lesbians? We don't care. 7. People think our relationships must be easier. You know, because it is two women. This suggests that our relationships are somehow different. Less serious. Less important. Less meaningful. They are no less difficult, they are no less meaningful. 8. I forgot to add the one that probably annoys me the most. Straight women who think we are toys. Something with which to experiment. I had a friend who would constantly hit on me when she got drunk. I asked her why. She said because I am safe. I said, I'm not a toy. Stop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 The list goes on. Those that do not believe that a woman can be fully gay and serious about it. We even have fellow lgtb girls who would advice you to have fun with girls but make sure you end up with a man because girls are just for fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toyo Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 minute ago, vina said: The list goes on. Those that do not believe that a woman can be fully gay and serious about it. We even have fellow lgtb girls who would advice you to have fun with girls but make sure you end up with a man because girls are just for fun. FACTS!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toyo Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 9 minutes ago, ChazBee said: I saw this on Quota and its so apt and on point so I decided to share, I've always had the thought that I am that only one irritated by people's ignorance towards my sexuality but reading this and knowing that it is a worldwide occurrence makes me less mad at the world. You think there are other Underrated Problems? please add, I usually helps when we share points like this knowing that we go about our daily lives learning from each other on self acceptance and what to expect in situations peculiar to us since there's virtually no one else to learn from. What is the most underrated problem in the life of a lesbian? Jennifer Ellis, I believe we should be treated equally under the law Answered Jan 12, 2016 Underrated? I can think of several. 1. Some men seem to think we exist simply to titillate them. They refuse to accept we are gay and/or believe they can change us. If I walk down the street holding the hand of a woman, you would think I am doing so just to appeal to men. God forbid I kiss a woman in public. 2. We tend to be ignored. If you look at tv shows and movies in the mainstream, it is considerably more common for gay men to have roles, not lesbians. We are generally an afterthought. 3. Following up on 2, when we are in movies and tv shows, they often don't know what to do with us. So we end up getting pregnant or adopting children. It is as if they cannot view us outside of motherhood. It seems challenging for people to write lesbian characters which are whole, unique beings outside of motherhood. And there seems to be a fear of romance beyond a kiss. 4. Some people seem to think we don't have "real" sex. You know, no penis, no sex. If you ask me, these people have no imagination. 5. If women have a tendency to be made invisible in our society, lesbians are even more so. 6. People think we hate men. A lot. I like men. I enjoy their company. You know who has a reason to hate men? Straight women. They have to live with men. We don't. Straight men have a reason to hate women. They have to live with them. Lesbians? We don't care. 7. People think our relationships must be easier. You know, because it is two women. This suggests that our relationships are somehow different. Less serious. Less important. Less meaningful. They are no less difficult, they are no less meaningful. 8. I forgot to add the one that probably annoys me the most. Straight women who think we are toys. Something with which to experiment. I had a friend who would constantly hit on me when she got drunk. I asked her why. She said because I am safe. I said, I'm not a toy. Stop it. 7 and 8 are extremely annoying for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted October 30, 2018 Moderators Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 hour ago, ChazBee said: You know who has a reason to hate men? Straight women. They have to live with men. We don't. Straight men have a reason to hate women. They have to live with them. Lesbians? We don't care. Hahahahaha. I found this amusing. Thanks for sharing @ChazBee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 hour ago, vina said: The list goes on. Those that do not believe that a woman can be fully gay and serious about it. We even have fellow lgtb girls who would advice you to have fun with girls but make sure you end up with a man because girls are just for fun. Major reason am so tucked in right now towards girls, a bunch of us are so confused and its so annoying. I've come to notice that most girls in Nigeria know what they like but have no clue about what they want. We want to be good girls and play safe (which is good in some way) but arent we supposed to think of ourselves first? what happened to "find what makes you happy and stick to it". How is it fair to love a girl and denounce the world for her only for her to wake up one morning and throw it all to your face and still make you feel like you're being unreasonable for questioning her and trying to make sense of it all. Dear Nigerian 'supposed Lesbians', please be honest to yourselves, make it clear to us that its just a fling, that you are not as crazy as those of us who want to go all the way so we know what we are in for from onset. Do not make promises you cant keep just to impress us no matter how good the sex is. Thanks Signed, Nigerian Core Lesbians Associations 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 hour ago, kimi said: Hahahahaha. I found this amusing. Thanks for sharing @ChazBee You are welcome Arch.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 2 hours ago, ChazBee said: Major reason am so tucked in right now towards girls, a bunch of us are so confused and its so annoying. I've come to notice that most girls in Nigeria know what they like but have no clue about what they want. We want to be good girls and play safe (which is good in some way) but arent we supposed to think of ourselves first? what happened to "find what makes you happy and stick to it". How is it fair to love a girl and denounce the world for her only for her to wake up one morning and throw it all to your face and still make you feel like you're being unreasonable for questioning her and trying to make sense of it all. Dear Nigerian 'supposed Lesbians', please be honest to yourselves, make it clear to us that its just a fling, that you are not as crazy as those of us who want to go all the way so we know what we are in for from onset. Do not make promises you cant keep just to impress us no matter how good the sex is. Thanks Signed, Nigerian Core Lesbians Associations Lool.. Core lesbians got me. Hahahaha. i like honest girls, tell me straight up if we dont have a future so i knw how to guard my heart. when i meet new people now, the first thing i ask is "marriage". If she starts to cook up cock and bull story, i Mooovee.. I am getting too old for bull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, ChazBee said: Nigerian Core Lesbians Associations Lol. How do I get an entry form to this association? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, vina said: Lool.. Core lesbians got me. Hahahaha. i like honest girls, tell me straight up if we dont have a future so i knw how to guard my heart. when i meet new people now, the first thing i ask is "marriage". If she starts to cook up cock and bull story, i Mooovee.. I am getting too old for bull. Gospel! Its all or nothing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, vina said: Lool.. Core lesbians got me. Hahahaha. i like honest girls, tell me straight up if we dont have a future so i knw how to guard my heart. when i meet new people now, the first thing i ask is "marriage". If she starts to cook up cock and bull story, i Mooovee.. I am getting too old for bull. Even when you ask, as long as their veejay is wet they'd tell you what you wanna hear for as long as you are needed but as soon as one broda buys them suya and Smirnoff ice you'll start to hear lines like "this is Nigeria and we have to be realistic " "it's a sin, am just doing it cos I was single " As if it's some hangover that needs to be exhausted. Please queue here so we can start a core lesbians care group Mbok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 2 hours ago, Mimy said: Lol. How do I get an entry form to this association? You're in already. Trust me we need a place that's just for us 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 46 minutes ago, ChazBee said: as soon as one broda buys them suya and Smirnoff ice you'll start to hear lines like "this is Nigeria and we have to be realistic " hahahah and not like we don't buy Smirnoff and suya and even shawarma for these chicks o abi broda own special? 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 15 minutes ago, Mimy said: hahahah and not like we don't buy Smirnoff and suya and even shawarma for these chicks o abi broda own special? 😂😂 The one those broda buys Ehhh, I suspect it plus dem girls know what they like but don't know what they want. I can't wait for God to take me out of Nigeria, my only option for the kinda life I want. #sistersprayyourwayout 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 My ribs are cracking here. Lwkmd. Chazbee no kill me. am i lucky or wah? I always meet girls who want to actually marry me and settle down o. Na me dey use style form o, make i no con enter one chance marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 1:34 PM, ChazBee said: Major reason am so tucked in right now towards girls, a bunch of us are so confused and its so annoying. I've come to notice that most girls in Nigeria know what they like but have no clue about what they want. We want to be good girls and play safe (which is good in some way) but arent we supposed to think of ourselves first? what happened to "find what makes you happy and stick to it". How is it fair to love a girl and denounce the world for her only for her to wake up one morning and throw it all to your face and still make you feel like you're being unreasonable for questioning her and trying to make sense of it all. Dear Nigerian 'supposed Lesbians', please be honest to yourselves, make it clear to us that its just a fling, that you are not as crazy as those of us who want to go all the way so we know what we are in for from onset. Do not make promises you cant keep just to impress us no matter how good the sex is. Thanks Signed, Nigerian Core Lesbians Associations Preach it Sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 3:47 PM, vina said: Lool.. Core lesbians got me. Hahahaha. i like honest girls, tell me straight up if we dont have a future so i knw how to guard my heart. when i meet new people now, the first thing i ask is "marriage". If she starts to cook up cock and bull story, i Mooovee.. I am getting too old for bull. My own question is usually, " Are you out?" And if the answer is no, "When do you intend to come out? Are you considering it??" Because if she isn't coming out to at least her family, I don't know how that marriage wan take hold o because I want a wedding ceremony and a couple of family members there and the whole children taking whoever's name ish. (That's a huge part of your life, you can't just cut your family out of that and think all will be well.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 8:39 PM, ChazBee said: #sistersprayyourwayout Hahahaha!!! This hashtag though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 1 minute ago, dequeen said: My own question is usually, " Are you out?" And if the answer is no, "When do you intend to come out? Are you considering it??" Because if she isn't coming out to at least her family, I don't know how that marriage wan take hold o because I want a wedding ceremony and a couple of family members there and the whole children taking whoever's name ish. (That's a huge part of your life, you can't just cut your family out of that and think all will be well.) Well, if am living in Nigeria then I won't consider a wedding for security reasons but once outta here I will have a private wedding, then I'll have my own kids while she has hers. You know why?, if and when you guys break up you won't want to be the one who lost custody because you are a foreigner or under employed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 10 minutes ago, ChazBee said: Well, if am living in Nigeria then I won't consider a wedding for security reasons but once outta here I will have a private wedding, then I'll have my own kids while she has hers. You know why?, if and when you guys break up you won't want to be the one who lost custody because you are a foreigner or under employed. Aren't they all your kids?? Why the divide?? Definitely, wedding in Nigeria would be insane.... Why are you anticipating a breakup though?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 14 minutes ago, dequeen said: Aren't they all your kids?? Why the divide?? Definitely, wedding in Nigeria would be insane.... Why are you anticipating a breakup though?? They are all our kids but I prefer she has hers and I have mine. Why the divide? Because of unforeseen circumstances, I have this thing I do where I anticipate for break up the moment a person says they love me, it has overtime helped me to get over the uncountable heartbreaks. Also, if you have a solid plan because you love someone, make sure it's fool proof, that's why we have things like prenup and Wills. Someone may not outrightly set out to hurt you but no one knows tomorrow. As for the kids, am gonna take care of then as mine, am a lover of kids and I will love them all equally but incase something happens I wanna know I have mine, that am not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 1 hour ago, ChazBee said: Well, if am living in Nigeria then I won't consider a wedding for security reasons but once outta here I will have a private wedding, then I'll have my own kids while she has hers. You know why?, if and when you guys break up you won't want to be the one who lost custody because you are a foreigner or under employed. Ah!! That one no make sense!! Which kind family be that? Hanty chazbee if you jam girl like me and we born our different kids, when we break up i go won carry my own still follow you drag your own eh, especially if we are married. Wtf!! All the kids are mine and i have taken care of them and seen them as a part of my life. what makes you feel they are yours just cos you pushed them out. Hanty i go still drag!!! I cant just move on and forget about kids you have with me and neither would i let you move on leaving my own kids. They are ours and will forever be and you go pay child support eeeeeeeeee 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 1 hour ago, dequeen said: My own question is usually, " Are you out?" And if the answer is no, "When do you intend to come out? Are you considering it??" Because if she isn't coming out to at least her family, I don't know how that marriage wan take hold o because I want a wedding ceremony and a couple of family members there and the whole children taking whoever's name ish. (That's a huge part of your life, you can't just cut your family out of that and think all will be well.) The wedding na for nigeria? Even if she comes out will they accept her and attend the wedding? Hanty why??? this coming out own no be guarantee jor. Me i am not out but i gay pass ellen!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 1 minute ago, vina said: Ah!! That one no make sense!! Which kind family be that? Hanty chazbee if you jam girl like me and we born our different kids, when we break up i go won carry my own still follow you drag your own eh, especially if we are married. Wtf!! All the kids are mine and i have taken care of them and seen them as a part of my life. what makes you feel they are yours just cos you pushed them out. Hanty i go still drag!!! I cant just move on and forget about kids you have with me and neither would i let you move on leaving my own kids. They are ours and will forever be and you go pay child support eeeeeeeeee You won't understand these things until you've been in it or seen people go through it, this life we live is too complicated sometimes. I understand that we're one when we're together but it's much more than eyes can see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 2 minutes ago, ChazBee said: You won't understand these things until you've been in it or seen people go through it, this life we live is too complicated sometimes. I understand that we're one when we're together but it's much more than eyes can see Depends on who you are with. Baby, i would never let the issues my spouse and i hve to ever affect the kids no matter what. Its not fair, we are adults and should learn to take our issues away from the kids. In case of separation then we can arrange joint custody or something. We shouldnt share the kids. How do you think the kids would feel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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