Administrators FlyJ Posted November 2, 2018 Administrators Share Posted November 2, 2018 Sometimes lesbians want to find a wife with whom to run a small sheep farm in Wales; sometimes what we want is a hard wet fuck from a beautiful woman we barely know in the bathroom of a gay bar. We contain multitudes. But how do you make the latter happen? I bring to you cruising tips and casual sex advice built off the years of skanky queer life experience that have solidified me as one of the leading minds in the highly un-scientific field of “Lez Slut-ology.” The Basics What’s cruising? Cruising is going out into the world with the specific intention of finding someone with whom to have casual sex. If you message or approach someone just wanting to hook up, you are cruising. It’s a time-honored gay tradition and a rich part of our cultural history that forgoes respectability politics and homonormative assimilation in favor of radical expressions of queer sexuality. Cruising is knowing what you want and actively pursuing it. The term is thought to have come from queer folks walking or driving around town searching for a casual encounter. Though cruising has gained prominence as practiced by men who have sex with men, it isn’t theirs alone; dyke communities have also engaged in cruising and casual sex for years. Where do you cruise? I would recommend any events or settings where you know lady-loving lady hotties abound as a great place to cruise. This includes: + Dyke nights at your local gay bar + Pride + Dance parties + Brunch + A-Camp + A Hayley Kiyoko/Tegan & Sara/Mirah/Melissa Etheridge concert + BDSM play parties + A gay picnic + A book fair + NaijaLez So my golden rule is: “If there’s a hot gay around and you aren’t at like, a trauma center or a funeral, you can cruise there.” An elegant golden rule, I know. How do you cruise? Feel good about it! We live in a society that indoctrinates us into believing that having desires is predatory and shameful, and that women who desire women are even more so. I think another big part of it is that many of us have experienced predatory behavior and are very scared to replicate it. It’s not predatory to want someone and let them know it. It’s not predatory to desire another woman in a purely sexual manner. It’s only predatory if you are being disrespectful of someone’s boundaries, body, and personhood. So don’t do that. As for fears about being desirable or confident enough, remember that queer desire is complex and multifaceted and lots of types of people are attracted to lots of types of people and bodies; why not you! I suggest wearing something you feel really confident and hot in, that outfit that just makes you feel like the baddest bitch. And when all else fails, fake the confidence because we honestly all do that. Flirting Flirting is the first step of cruising and something I know many queers struggle with. I know many queer folx, especially women, feel frozen by this deep fear of rejection and getting over that is the first step to being a more confident cruiser. Being rejected doesn’t say anything bad about you or them and it doesn’t invalidate your gayness. I fear rejection too, but learning to accept it as a likely possibility has helped me become my best flirt and built my confidence in other aspects of my life. What is important is to not be objectifying in how you interact with them. If they aren’t into it, respect the no, move on, and don’t make it weird. If you’re approached by someone you aren’t into, try to handle it the way you would want to be rejected, say thank you and politely decline. My favorite ways to flirt with or be flirted with by women are to be complimented — find something you think is beautiful, stylish, or attractive about this person and let them know — and then having them get down to it — ask for what you’re interested in, whether it’s a number, a date, or getting fucked in the bathroom. Having Casual Sex How do you actually initiate casual sex? In practice: you’re out and about and have spotted a hottie, and have been flirting by complimenting them and chatting. Maybe this doesn’t go well; either they aren’t into it or upon closer interaction you aren’t as into them as you thought you were. That’s fine; chalk it up to the mysteries of life and move on. If they do seem equally interested in you, you can take the initiative! If it’s a setting like a bar, party or social gathering where you could feasibly say “Do you want to go to my place/the bathroom/my car/anywhere else we can have sex?” you can ask that! If you’re in the middle of a protest or drag queen story hour for kids at 10 am at the public library, maybe you want to ask for their number so you can make a similar suggestion at a more appropriate time — like getting someone’s info to ask them on a date, but focusing more on asking them “I think you’re really hot, do you want to come over Saturday night?” If you are trying to get fisted in your car in the parking lot of the bar — congrats! — maybe wear something you can slip in and out of easily. Once you get to actually having sex, you of course are aware it’s good to communicate basic stuff about boundaries and consent, even if it is casual. There’s no set list of things to discuss before sleeping with a stranger, but if it’s something like a medical condition, a boundary, or testing status, then definitely bring it up. Examples: “Hey just so you know, I have a latex allergy, so finger me with nitrile gloves.” “Please make sure you don’t touch my neck. It’s a trigger for me.” “How recently have you been tested?” “My partner and I have a rule about getting no marks from hookups.” “I don’t like gentle sex.” “I have been tested recently and my results came back positive for gonorrhea.” Source 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 Cruising on NL?? Error 101. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 This stuff don't work in Nigeria abeg, all this venues mentioned does not exist here so I'll pass. I'll wait till they mention Silverbird Cinema or Malls cos that's all we've got. Oyibo methods don't work for folks around here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 3, 2018 Author Administrators Share Posted November 3, 2018 10 hours ago, vina said: Cruising on NL?? Error 101. Lol. Why not? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 1 minute ago, FlyJ said: Lol. Why not? Errr, lol. It just doesnt happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 3, 2018 Author Administrators Share Posted November 3, 2018 27 minutes ago, vina said: Errr, lol. It just doesnt happen. Is that so? I thought it does and is at least successful to a degree. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 21 minutes ago, FlyJ said: Is that so? I thought it does and is at least successful to a degree. Ok let me not use myself as a yardstick sha.. oya any testimonies??? Who has cruised from NL before oooooo??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 I think the anonymous section has stories to tell about cruising on NL. 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2DD Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Has worked for me once in Manhattan, but I don’t see it working here in naija abeg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 33 minutes ago, M2DD said: Has worked for me once in Manhattan, but I don’t see it working here in naija abeg. Come and cruise with me eeee. You have not tried me and you are concluding on Naija girls!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2DD Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 5 minutes ago, vina said: Come and cruise with me eeee. You have not tried me and you are concluding on Naija girls!!! Where are u? Oya come to Abuja. Let me send u a PJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 9 minutes ago, M2DD said: Where are u? Oya come to Abuja. Let me send u a PJ Be serious for once na. This is me cruising openly. Whenever you want me to be in Abuja I swear I will be. Now now sef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2DD Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 hour ago, vina said: Be serious for once na. This is me cruising openly. Whenever you want me to be in Abuja I swear I will be. Now now sef. My number is in your DM, hit me up 😝😝. Let’s not derail . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamah Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 On 11/3/2018 at 10:35 AM, Blakky said: Cruising on NL?? Error 101. I swear, babes like to form hard to get too much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 23 hours ago, Mahrhima said: I swear, babes like to form hard to get too much Me no dey form na. Doro na giver, she no dey tire🤣😂😁 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sha60 Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Who forming help, I actually prefer the cruise stuff no strings attached, have fun and 🚶 walk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 On 11/3/2018 at 10:35 AM, Blakky said: Cruising on NL?? Error 101. I've actually tried cruising on this platform. It went south. we both wanted more then distance happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Sha60 said: Who forming help, I actually prefer the cruise stuff no strings attached, have fun and 🚶 walk The 'no string attached' thingy is kinda hard really. Eventually either of the partner enjoy the cruising so much that she try to convince the other partner to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 3 hours ago, Mimy said: The 'no string attached' thingy is kinda hard really. Eventually either of the partner enjoy the cruising so much that she try to convince the other partner to stay. And I would think for someone like You that likes her own space, no strings attached would be fun. 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 On 11/9/2018 at 1:21 PM, Blakky said: Be serious for once na. This is me cruising openly. Whenever you want me to be in Abuja I swear I will be. Now now sef. For those Wondering. I and M2DD no later cruise o.😅🤣🤣😅 Don't get it twisted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 8 hours ago, Txunamy said: And I would think for someone like You that likes her own space, no strings attached would be fun. 😁 Lol right? Well, these things aren't black and white sometimes. 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 8 hours ago, Blakky said: For those Wondering. I and M2DD no later cruise o.😅🤣🤣😅 Don't get it twisted. Lol why do you think we'll mind? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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