Baby Face!!!

[VINA]

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*This story might look real but trust me, it's not about any one living or dead. It's a work of my imagination.

 

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*Read and enjoy. 

[VINA]

THE THIN LINE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL.

The university of Benin 2006.

_AS I WAS_

*******

Our car passed through the Uniben gate and I sighed deeply as I took in my environment.
Nineteen and alone in this whole new world. My parents hadn't even deemed it fit to come drop me off by themselves. It always has to be the driver, or the house help or even 'Mama' my Nanny. Yes I still had a nanny even though I had outgrown a nanny. She wasn't technically a nanny anymore but I didn't know how else to describe her. She was more of a mother to me than my real mother ever was.

Mama had also grown older with me. I remember her from my childhood and how young and beautiful she had been. I remember Mommy saying that she was a young widow who had gone through a lot, lost her husband and children, accused of witch craft, beaten and tied to a stake and left to die.

I wouldn never for the life of me understand why my mother had been kind enough to feel pity for anyone in her life, how much more Mama, a woman accused of witch  craft but for once in her life, my mother had done a noble deed. She'd picked up Mama, cleaned her up, given her a home and handed me to her to take care of.

Mama loved me, almost worshipped me, it was evident in the way she raised me, the way she talked to me. She'd built her entire life around me, around taking care of me and the fact that I lived, that I breathed was enough to give her intense joy.

Here she was beside me in the car, holding my hand and sniffing. I rolled my eyes as I contemplated on my next actions.

"Mama, stop! I'm not a child anymore." I cried albeit weakly.

I loved Mama a lot. She'd been there through all the major milestones in my life, when I first saw my period, my graduation, my birthdays, and the heart breaks. She'd been the one that remembered all my birthdays with a cake, no matter where I was but sometimes I fear that she was clinging on to me too tight. I felt smothered by her love, it showed that I was the only thing that mattered to her.

"I know you are not a child. That is exactly why I'm crying. You're growing too fast and now you are leaving home. Is there no way I can move in with you?" She said and then burst into tearful laughter once she saw the expression on my face.

"Get a life Ameh, leave this girl to live her life." The driver Mr Mike said from his seat at the front and Mama scowled at him.

After asking for directions over and over again, we were finally at Hall 2 car park, a building that was said to be my accommodation for the whole year. I eyed the tall buildings with a lot of scepticism but Mama encouraged me.

"Trust me Jiji, this is the best thing your father ever did for you. Do you know that in private universities, the students are made to kneel down, cannot own gadgets and even wear uniforms? Private universities are glorified secondary schools trust me."

"And schools in the abroad?" I asked scoffing but Mama clutched her chest in a mock heart attack that never seized to make me laugh.

"You want to kill me? Abroad? No never. This school is close to home and when you look past a lot of things, it's actually a great school."

I pouted as I climbed down the car with my backpack. Mike opened the boot of the SUV and started to put my things down. Mama helped too and since Mike couldn't enter into the girls hostel with us, he moved the things to the door and watched us as we battled with all of my things. Mama had gone over board by shopping to a stupor, I didn't know why I needed so many things and once we successful located my room, it was obvious that some things had to go back home with them because there would never be enough space.

In the room, I realized that I was the last person to resume and once I entered, I met some of the other girls. I shyly greeted them as Mama started to help to arrange my bunk.  My mattress was probably the biggest in the room. I and Mama worked in unison as she folded my clothes neatly into the wardrobe while I laid my bed and fluffed my pillows. Lastly she dumped Sensei, my teddy bear unceremoniously on the bed.

"I wish we could have brought an air conditioner with us but you have to manage this rechargeable fan. Hopefully the battery lasts. And Jiji, never take off your mosquito net, remember that you get malaria from even as much as a mosquito bite." Mama said while ruffling my hair and I was so embarrassed that I turned away from her. The other girls in the room were watching me with mock curiosity as the events played out. When we were done, Mama bade the girls bye with an advise, she asked us to take care of each other and the girls in turn returned the greeting. I knew that they were curious about me And probably laughing at me in their heads. I didn't care, I loved that I wasn't alone doing this.

When we left the room, Mama and Mike drove me round the school and generally spent time with me talking and laughing. Mike reminisced about his time at UNIZIK while we laughed at his antics. Mama had never gone to university but she was still the smartest woman I knew.

We went to lunch at a fast food located inside the school and we continued with our small talks. Once evening drew near, my heart beat accelerated as I realized that very soon, both of them would be gone and I would have to face everything alone. At this point, the offer of Mama staying with me didn't sound so bad anymore. I hugged her from the sides and she immediately held me back. She kissed the top of my head and I heard her sniff again.
" Be a good girl Jiji, remember everything I taught you, remember who you are and where you are coming from. Be yourself and stay away from bad gangs. I love you so much."
I couldn't hold back the tears as I broke down and cried, I cried all the way back to the hostel, and I cried even more as I waved at the retreating SUV that carried the most important person to me away.

That night in the hostel, I climbed into my netted bed and slept. It was my parents calling that woke me up.
"Have you eaten, have you had a bath, do you like it there? When is your first class..."

My mother and father went hard on the questions and I tried to answer them as much as I could. After the call, I felt my bunk shaking like someone was turning and tossing so I pulled my head out and looked upwards to find a girl of about my age looking right back at me. I hadn't seen her when I had come earlier so I imagined that she hadn't been around then.

"Hello," She said waving shyly and I waved back.

"I am Vicky and I'm in hundred level Law and you?"

" I'm Ejiro, hundred level Law too." Something I said must have surprised her because her brows shot up into her hair.
"You're in hundred level and you got a down bunk?"

"Erm yeah! What's the big deal, I thought it was random?" I said swinging my neck as it was strainous looking up to her this way.

"No it's not random, all hundred level get up bunks and corner A is always usually for final year students. You must have connections then."

I thought about it and shrugged, it's very like Daddy to set this up. His younger brother, my uncle Ese was the deputy vice Chancellor academics and he also had family and friends wielding positions in the school. That was one of the reasons he wanted me here. Well, sometimes, affluence does help, I couldn't imagine sleeping all that way up and for once I was glad that my father was my father.

Mama called me much later to admonish me to eat and I got out if my bunk to my locker to grab one of the array of cereal there. I poured my milk and sat to eat. When I saw Vicky watching me, I invited her to join me and she obliged.

The room was noisy then, someone from the other side of the corner was playing a song with their phone. One had a visitor and the rest just threw banter around. I ignored it all and shut it out. Instead after eating, I went through my books and arranged them in my school backpack while I went through my time table.

*****
Some weeks after resumption, I was getting the hang of school. It still wasn't easy and I still didn't have any close friends asides Vicky. It wasn't like people didn't want to be friends with me, on the contrary a lot of people would cozy up to me but it always weirded me out.

My matriculation had come and gone and Mama and Mike had been the same people who had come. Mama took pictures with me proudly. I even let her my matriculation gown for a minute as Mike clicked away on the camera. She had a proud smile on as she shared food and pastries to anyone who as much as passed. My roommates also had a full cooler of friend rice to themselves and that single gesture made me even more endearing to them.
When it was time for them to leave, once again I cried but as always Mama held me to her and soothed me. I missed her so much, more than I ever thought I could. I had never been away from her and I had always thought that I would be happier without her, without any of them but it was just two weeks now and I was almost running mad with loneliness.

In school, I struggled to belong. I didn't know what path I was going to take. There was the league of cool girls who had boyfriends in town and partied every weekend, there was the political elites, the ardent Church girls, the nerds, and the weirdos and after weeks of thinking of my path, the choice was made for me when on one Saturday, a girl who introduced herself to me as Beatrice invited me to her church.

We weren't much of a religious family if you thought of it. Mama did try once in a while to attend church and often she would dress me up in the nicest gowns and we would go to one not too far from us but I always knew that she didn't really open up her heart to God. She had a lot of questions and not very much answers. My parents were never around anyways so I hardly ever saw them attend church but yet, here I was dressed up on a Sunday as Beatrice waited for me patiently. She wouldn't give up, I had one million complains why I couldn't make the service but she had one million solutions to give so finally I agreed.

She held my hand like a puppy while she led me to the hall near my department where the service was to hold. It was a young crowd and the supposed pastor was an alumni of the university. He was eloquent and vast and we'll read and as he spoke the word of God, I was entranced. My heart was opened and the songs pretty much nailed it for me. I loved the songs, the atmosphere was one of peace and calm throughout the service and once the pastor made an altar call for those that wanted to give their lives to God, I came out and said the words And alas I was born again.

I felt joy, I felt like I finally found my place in this big new world and the members hugged and clapped as I joined a cell right then and there. I went back to the hostels a changed girl. The first person I called was Mama. I told her about the experience and while she wasn't as excited as I was, she said that she would support me in whatever I wanted and it did mean a lot to me.

So my days as the churchy girl started. I would attend classes in the day time, go for evangelism in the afternoons and attend church services in the evening. My days were filled with activities just the way I wanted and yet my school work was never neglected.

*****

It was one evening while I was returning from service that I met Him.  He walked along side me for a while till we got to the front of hall 2 where he stopped me and introduced Himself as   Osas. I took his hand in mine and laughed silly at his attempt at being funny. He said he wanted to be friends and I pretty much didn't think much of it. I invited him to church and he came for mid week service.

Over time we became friends. He was in two hundred level Geography and he was one of the good boys if he did say so himself. He didn't drink nor smoke and he was attending services with me. We would go read together and eat.

At this time, I started to realize that I was infatuated with Vicky so I started to avoid her. It wasn't the first time I would have a crush on a girl and every single time it happened, it scared me to death. I would avoid the girl like she had the plague and try everything to forget her. Usually it worked, until my childhood sweetheart Amaka had kissed me and I realized that I loved it and that I was different. Vicky tried to talk things through, find out why I suddenly was cold towards her but I didn't give her a chance. I shut her out completely and just maybe if I hadn't, things would have worked out different.

******

It was around the second semester that Osas convinced me to go out with him. According to him I was living a sheltered life. I didn't have to be bad to have fun but I could hang out and meet new people. In his own words "you have to pass through school, not school passing through you." It had made me laugh but since I trusted him, I decided that it wouldn't be too bad to take a stroll, get to know Benin city better.
That evening he came in a car with his friend but immediately I got in the back seat, I felt like everything was off. Osas didn't as much as acknowledge my presence. He chatted on And on with his friend. The journey seemed to be one without an end, we left the city and were traveling through bush paths. I already had a nervous break down by this time and I was shivering in fear. Who was this guy and what was really happening. Finally we got to a local bar and they soon started to drink and smoke, not just cigarettes but I saw Osas roll a large blunt. I felt my world crash into the ground as I realized that Osas had been a lie, I wasn't even sure if that was his real name. I sat there sipping my malt drink as I begged intermittently that I wanted to go home. He would ignore me like I didn't exist and at this point, I was already throwing up out of nervousness. I thought to call Mama but how would I explain this to her? Where would I start, and what would this do to her?

"You're so digusting though Eji, go and rinse your mouth with water and stop throwing up everywhere." Osas said in disgust and I shivered again as I contemplated how someone could be so different.

Later on, he would drag me into a room apparently owned by his friend and take off my shorts. I begged, I grovelled, I used the name of every God that I knew but yet, Osas would take my virginity in the most painful way that existed in the books. When he was done and I was curled up like a ball in tears, he would berate me for staining his friends bed with period blood.

"You pig, you're on your period and yet you refused to use a pad." He said throwing the sheets on me and ordering me to wash it. I unfolded the sheets and looked at my virginity blood and just like that something snapped inside of me. I just knew that I wasn't the same anymore and maybe I never would be.

[VINA]

AS I AM

"Baby face, guess who we saw running out of Ekosodin with his backpack." A voice shouted from afar as he walked closer grabbing a scruffy boy by his collar. I looked up from rolling my blunt and came face to face with him, Osas.

I breathed and continued to roll my weed. Tboy and A.J joined hands and pushed him to his knees at my front and once I finished rolling my joint, I jumped down from the fence that I had been sitting.

I put the joint in my mouth and Tboy immediately brought out a lighter and lit my joint carefully as I took a lung full of the herbs.

"Osas, I am pained, really pained. You want to leave me here by myself? I thought we had an agreement? You're the first friend I ever had, why ever would you want to skip town and leave me?" I said in mock concern as I signalled the guys and they pushed him hard to the floor, his face buried to the ground. He was crying now, not from what I was doing to him right now but because of the past, the things we had done to him coming. I put my booted feet on his face and turned it around a few times. My brothers had been giving Osas hell for a while now and he had been warned never to leave Ekosodin but obviously, the guy was a big fool who believed that we didn't have eyes everywhere in the community. 

"Ejiro, this is not who you are. I did wrong but you didn't have to ruin your life, turn into this all for revenge." Osas cried and A.j punched him in the face for daring to talk back at me. I signalled them again and they pulled him up to his knees.

"You must think you are very special, that you somehow caused this. You think I set out on this to get revenge on you? A.j, Tboy!"

The two guys answered me as I called their names.

"Have I ever mentioned Osas to you, told you that he raped me some years back, ordered you to harass him or beat him?"

"No o, never o, Baby face you know why we dey punish the guy now." A.j said .

"Why?" I asked puffing my smoke before pulling on Osas's ears so he could hear clearly.

"We hear the guy dey brag say him don f***k you now. Him f***k up, you know say Black J hate make man get loosed mouth. Na why we dey deal with am. Correct guy no dey kiss and tell na."

I crouched gingerly before him so that we were face to face. " All your problems started and ended with you, I had no hand in it. I could have told them that you raped me but I refrained because I would never let that Incident define me but Osas, haven't you heard that a woman is forever tied to the man she loses her virginity to?"

I decided that I wouldn't finish my blunt, it was too good to take at once. I decided to put the blunt out on his arm and he screamed in pain as the burning end seared into his skin.

"Rapist!" Tboy said kicking him in his side as A.J walked off briskly. I knew whom he was going to call and I felt pity deep in my heart for what was about to happen to Osas. Of a truth, I had avoided telling anyone about what he had done to me. It wasn't the easiest thing to do but I had kept it inside of me till it withered and died.

It had changed me but sometimes I wondered if it just opened me up. I blamed God for the longest time. I had done nothing wrong to have that happen to me, He had said that he would always be with me but He had left me to that pig to rape. I could have told Mama and she would have arrived school with a thousand police men but did I really want to bother her, did I want to be labelled as the girl who got raped?

I could have told Black Jesus but I didn't because I honestly wanted to forget the incident and my brothers torturing Osas everyday would have done nothing to help me forget.

Black Jesus arrived shortly with four other guys, all my brothers. They had the air around them, the air that commanded everyone to bow before them. Black J, the number one man in the brotherhood as always was in a pristine state. A well iron shirt on black pants and shining black shoes. He took off his dark shades and came to me for our ritual hand shake. The other guys immediately surrounded Osas and I knew that he was dead meat. He cowered and wept as he made to disappear into the ground.

If there was one thing that Black Jesus hated, it was weak and stupid men, men who lacked common sense, men that were scum, men who took advantage of women. He hated it so much so that half of the punishment guys got from him were for mistreating women.

I would never forget once when a guy in the next hostel right next to mine was punished by Black J for continuously beating his girlfriend. The dude was known for chasing down the girl friend and beating her to a pulp. Seeing as they lived together, these episodes were quite frequent till Black J got wind of it.

So he called for us to go pay this "Mayweather" a visit one of those evenings and as usual we filed out. When we got there, Black J knocked on his door and he answered, but immediately he saw who it was, he knew that he was going to get it. He hailed us fearfully but Black J ignored him.

"Your girlfriend dey for house? Tell her to put water for fire, while you follow us. I won help you."

The guy fearfully did as Black J asked and then came with us. We set up camp just by the side of the hostel and we could feel different eyes watching us from the various windows of the hostel.

"Ehen come now, Mayweather in the making. I hail o," Black J said laughing as he circled the guy.

"I hear say you dey train to win championship belt, so I say make I help you. As you don turn your woman to punching bag, we say make she rest, we want to help you to train. Take, wear am." He continued as he threw boxing gloves at him. Where he got them from, I wouldn't know. I snickered in my heart as I watched the drama unfold all the while keeping a tough face on the exterior. Black J again from his bag pulled out an helmet and soon the guy struggled to wear them. Once he was done, none of us could contain the laughter, we laughed for a good while and when we were done, Black J ordered us to surround him.

"This is round one, when I say start, you start. Wetin go pain me pass guy, na if you no fight." Black J said sternly.

"Round one, Fight!!!" He screamed loudly and the guy made to throw a punch at A.j but I grabbed him from behind and Tboy cleared him from the floor and he landed on his back. Then the punches started, flying from every corner as he cried in pain. I heard bones break and saw his mouth filled with blood.

"Cut. I think say this guy na Mayweather o. So na only woman him fit beat? Guy you fall my hand, for this round two if you no fight, I go vex." Black J said clearly angry now. I couldn't tell if his anger was fake or real, Black J acted a lot.

He gave the signal and the second round started again and by the time we were through, the guy was lying in a pool of his own blood, broken and thoroughly beaten. Just before we left, Black J shouted for the girlfriend and said,

"The water never boil? Carry you Bobo make you go help am press him body. Your guy fall my hand, even Ekosodin belt him no go fit win."

I looked back as we walked out of the compound and saw the girlfriend crying and gathering him in a heap up to their room. I didn't ever hear him beating her again or maybe she left him or he left her. I would never know, I never cared to ask. The point was, Black J was really going to be pissed at Osas, he hated rapists just as much.

"Baby, why you hide this fact from me now? I have been really pissed since A.j tell me the matter. I dey vex for you but I go reason your matter later." I tried to apologise but he totally ignored me as he turned to Osas.

"Oga big gbola, so na prick you take dey terrorise girls ehn. Clap for yourself, that your prick, you go use am scrub ground today. Guys, carry am make we go."

They picked Osas up and whisked him away while I sat there in pain, pity, guilt then I berated myself for feeling any of those things. I felt that way because I had seen Black J torturing a rapist before, that thing he did with inserting needles into their penises was beyond weird. I couldn't bear to think of it.

I walked back to my room and decided that I wasn't going to ask what they did with Osas and that I didn't care.

*************

[VINA]

 

********

It was the very next day that Black J would send for me to come to his house. I dressed up in my usual really tight jeans and a pair of well cut shirt and boots. My hair was in cornrows and as I looked in the mirror, it's my smooth babyish face that stared back at me. Would I ever age? I asked myself as I chuckled mischievously. My eyes were big and brown and still innocent, despite everything I've done, everything I had seen, my eyes still looked innocent. I knew that it was these eyes that had saved me from exposure to my family.

 

Mama still saw me as her little innocent baby girl, my parents, well they pretty much still didn't pay any mind to me but they also wouldn't have guessed that I wasn't the same anymore.

 

As I walked down the street to Black J's house on the other side of the small village which had basically been turned into a student community, I whistled in confidence.

 

The magical thing about joining the brotherhood was the power it came with. I never had to live in fear again, no one was ever going to hurt me and everyone respected me. Maybe a few feared me but mostly it was respect. They trusted me to deal justly with those that broke the rules.

 

I was just about turning a bend when a fresh faced guy came out from a hostel just across the road. Once he saw me, he started to run towards me. I rolled my eyes in my head and sighed. Some times, I liked to take random walks just so I could get guys like this one. I honestly got kicks from playing with them.

 

Every guy around knew better than to try to talk to me, especially in a sexual way but from time to time, a fresher or a visitor would come around and always when they saw me, they would try. Sometimes they were lucky enough to get warned off by their friends or acquaintances but there was that tiny percentage who always followed the corpse into the ground. I did hope that this one fell through, it had been long I had fun.

 

The last guy who had been so unlucky had been named... I really couldn't remember his name, but I think it started with a B. He had run after me much like this one, collected my number and even invited himself to my house. His stomach would have growled and grumbled as he looked at me and saw home made food. Unfortunately for him, even though I had a kitchen, a well set up one at that, I still couldn't be bothered to even boil as much as water talk more of cooking a meal.

 

I had encouraged him as I usually did, smiled sheepishly and batted my long eyelashes at him. The appearance of my deep dimples made him look at me in awe as he quickly took my number. He dialed the number immediately to be sure that I hadn't given him a wrong number and walked away on a high cloud with a promise to call and check on me by weekend.

 

Weekend came soon enough and as I sat with White, Cool J, Tboy, and Amadi smoking blunt And gambling with cards and dice when his call came in.  Apparently he was just about to take a bike to my house. I put the phone on speaker throughout and the guys had laughed and rolled on the floor just after the call.

 

"At Least we go drink beer." Cool J said as the rest nodded in agreement.

 

Minutes later, we saw a handsome well dressed guy walk into the compound. He looked around awkwardly before picking up his phone to probably dial my number but his eyes fell on mine in that instant and he smiled. The smile soon died on his face once he took in the other guys and the blunt hanging from my mouth.

 

"Come now, come sit with us, we'll be leaving soon." Amadi said politely, too politely that we snickered into our palms.

 

The fresh faced guy fidgeted slightly before walking towards us unsure.

 

"I hail o." He said loudly with his two hands in the air in a gesture that signified respect and then he made to sit. The sound of hot slap rang across the compound as the guy jumped back up with his cheeks in hand. The guys burst into laughter.

 

"This guy really wants to sit with MEN o, imagine that." One of the guys said as they continued laughing. I watched them in interest, I wasn't participating, neither did I care to, I just loved the comic relief.

 

"So of all the girls in this school, your d**ck pointed you to your doom. Since you like fine girls, I know you have the money to flex. We are her brothers and you need to treat us right, go to Mama Sara and buy us beer. What would you guys like?"

 

White said to the guy before turning to us for the last part. We all made our request and the guy stood there after, stammering and trying to say something that we couldn't figure out.

 

"I.. mean… that… I didn't come out with… enough money." He finally said and the guys burst into laughter again.

 

"And you dey find woman?" Tboy asked incredulously.

 

"Lucky for you, Mama Sara gives credit, you'll just have to pun your phone till you can pay. Oya sharp sharp, I'm thirsty." White said before continuing the game we had been playing.

 

Minutes later the guy brings us all a bottle of cold beer as he stood awkwardly waiting for further instructions. I opened mine and immediately started to guzzle it.

 

Later  on, the guys would ask the poor guy to show them the outline of his penis and they beat him some more before telling him to hold his ear and run back to his house.

 

I chuckled as I remembered the scene, it had made me laugh for days. I really just hoped that this new guy would fall right into the trap I had set in my head.

[ada69]

Interesting, this can be a novel

[VINA]

@M2DD of all the stories. You chose this one for me to continue.

 

I can't remember where my head was at but I'll try. 

[VINA]

No comments, please.

[VINA]

I chuckled as I remembered the scene, it had made me laugh for days. I really just hoped that this new guy would fall right into the trap I had set in my head.

I rounded another bend and burst out in front of 'Cupid' hostel. I held my breath as I concentrated sternly on making it past the hostel but just when I thought I was safe, I heard a shrill voice say,

"Guys, come and see, it's Baby." I sighed as I heard a commotion and running feet. I stopped in my tracks and turned to the balcony with my dimpled smile.

"Hey ladies!" They giggled as they waved to me before one of them asked me the same thing they had asked every single time I passed.

"Baby, you put me on a high rope last time. You said you were coming back and I packed food in expectation but I had to throw it all away. Would you stop by today? I'll make anything you want."

I thought about it for a while before nodding and they jumped in excitement, believing me for some weird reason. I avoided these girls mostly because my girlfriend was a crazy bitch that even I didn't like to mess with and she always got information on me, I don't know how. It wasn't like I was a cheat or a flirt anyways, I wasn't even a sexual person but Samantha still managed to find reasons to accuse me often.

I continued on my walk but my sharp ears picked on the Cupid girls' conversation.

"I would leave Ochuko for her in a minute. I don't even know what lesbians do but I swear I will let her do them to me." One said and another replied,

"As in ehn, she's so hot, just a kiss and my life would be made."

I zoned them out as I sighed. My sexuality obviously wasn't a secret anymore and it didn't bother me. I often wondered how something so private became public. 

It was a huge step for the brotherhood to have me because they had been one of the tormentors of gay men before I joined them. Black J used to tell me of how he would lure innocent gay men from all of Nigeria to Ekosodin only to brutalise them. His confession had stunned me into tears but his growth was something that made me even more emotional.

I finally arrived at my destination as I knocked on the door to Black Jesus' house. It was his girlfriend Kate that opened the door. 

"See my wife that abandoned me. Baby, I am angry with you." She said as she pulled me into a tight warm hug that betrayed her anger.

"My darling, how can I get you to forgive me?" I asked as I stepped in and kissed her full on the lips. Black Jesus came in just then and I peeled out of Kate's embrace to give him our ritual hand shake. He signaled to me and I followed him all the while wondering why he had summoned me.

Kate and Black J lived in another luxurious hostel at the other side of the community. Theirs was a well known brick hostel with security systems and what not, mine was the same but it was newer so this meant that Black J's hostel had more name than mine. 

Kate had been a classmate of Black Jesus. They had met in their first year and had continued till date. While Kate was now a renowned banker in one of the new generation banks doing really well in Nigeria, Black Jesus had spilled so many times that graduation was something that none of us could assure anymore. He seemed to have given up on ever graduating and sometimes I liked to think that he didn't want to graduate because he knew that the mantle of leadership had to be passed on once he did. In other words, I suspected that Black Jesus was sabotaging himself.

The relationship that Kate and Black J had was something out of a fairy tale. They were loyal to each other in a way that I couldn't fathom, Black J could barely look any other girl in the eye and he encouraged those of that cared to listen to be faithful.

We sat by the window side as Kate busied herself in the kitchen.

"I'm making your favourite,Baby, I couldn't help it once I heard you were coming." Kate called from the kitchen as Black J eyed me.

" First time she's cooking this week and it's because of you. You should come see me often." 

I smiled as I waited, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. Finally Black J cleared his throat and started, "Baby, why didn't you ever tell me about what that bastard did to you? Do you know how I felt hearing of it after all these years?"

I swallowed as I took in his pained expression. Black Jesus, was an extension of me and we had a bond so strong that everyone who had eyes could feel it. If I had a functional elder brother, it would be Black J but even at that, something told me that no blood brother of mine would ever have my back like Black J did. I thought of the best response.

" I didn't want to dwell in the past. Every time I remembered him, what he did to me, it was as good as him doing it all over again and I just can't keep going through that night ma...." I said breaking into raw painful sobs as I remembered the monster as he'd forced himself into me. My stomach clenched painfully as my nerves started to hurt.

I had gone through all of the trauma but Black J was bringing this back. I didn't want to dwell on this.

He let me cry and after a while, he asked, "is that why you're like this?"

I knew what he meant and the question was borne out of trying to understand me better.

"No, I'd been this way before that."

We looked at eachother for a while, passing knowing glances and we couldn't hug, or do any of those emotional stuff so we did the closest thing we could. We did our ritual handshake after which we burst into hysterical laughter.

What an oddity yet deeply satisfying, freeing session that had been, like I'd been in therapy. I breathed fresh air and sighed deep. I had needed that.

Later on, we had a hearty dinner and shared a bottle of vodka and it was late when I walked past the "Cupid hostels" and I was glad that I'd escaped them once more.