Abusive Relationship

[chocolat]

Have you every being in a abusive relationship or witnessed any form of abuse from family, friends and relative. Please cover this areas in your write up.

1. Where you the abuser or victim

***. When did the abuse started?

***. Did you inform anyone about your struggles and situations.

4. Did you seek professional help

5. Did you find closure.

6. Have you shared your experience with anyone

7. Are you still in the abusive relationship and Are you still dating the abuser.

8. Why or why not.

9. Did the situation change your view on life positively or negatively.

10. Are still a victim or a survivor.

 

Please keep it real and honest in this conversation.

[simple]

Have you every being in a abusive relationship or witnessed any form of abuse from family, friends and relative. Please cover this areas in your write up.

1. Where you the abuser or victim

***. When did the abuse started?

***. Did you inform anyone about your struggles and situations.

4. Did you seek professional help

5. Did you find closure.

6. Have you shared your experience with anyone

7. Are you still in the abusive relationship and Are you still dating the abuser.

8. Why or why not.

9. Did the situation change your view on life positively or negatively.

10. Are still a victim or a survivor.

 

Please keep it real and honest in this conversation.

 

 

I have been abused sexually by my uncle when I was 8yrs old,and I have been abused physically and emotionally by my gf. I have also physically and emotionally abused by gf,I think I hit her to the point that she had to start hitting back.

 

1. Both

 

***.When I was sexually abused I told my mum immediately that same day, but I dint talk to her or anyone else about my struggles. I kept it to my self.

 

***.Nope

 

4. Yes.

 

5. I just blocked that part from my memory,and yes I found closure. I reported and a lot of gals came out to say he also molested them,he was arrested(although later released) and that was enough closure for me. Exposing him was enough.

 

6. Yes. I'm a very open person.

 

7. We no more abuse each other, we have grown. That was like two yrs ago,sometimes we still say hurtful things to each oda when angry but its rare.

 

8. We love each other

 

9. Being abused sexually changed my views abt life negatively and not positively,I was just 8 and it made me grow up too fast. Infact I lost my childhood.

Being an abuser and over coming it changed my life positively,I mean I never knew I had dat inner demon until my gf brought it out. I am glad I was able to fight it and I'm still fyting it, no girl deserves to be hit no matter what. U either walk away,keep calm or break up, but don't hit her.

 

10. Definitely a survivor.

[chocolat]

@ simple I got a watering eyes when reading about the abused you went through in the hands of your uncle. I can't imagine going through such a dramatic experience at such a tender age and having your innocent ripped from you.

You are a strong woman and am glad you've moved on.

As far as the physical and emotional abuse btw your girl and you. Am glad y'all are working towards a healthy relationship. Communication is the key in good relationship. Always express how you feel to your girl in a respectful manner and am sure she will do the same in return. Stay strong.

[Guest Lala1]

I was abused as a child by my uncle too. I was either 4/5. And it stopped, but at 8 he touched me again. I never told a family member. My best friends know about it. Maybe some day I'll get the nerve to tell my faily members about. Someday. As for now, it's still a secret.

 

I definitely need closure, and the help of a professional. I'm more than certain I do. And till I do, I feel I can't fully decide whether I am a victim or a survivor. Somedays I feel like a survivor, other days like a victim. I've actually just started dealing with and talking about the issue. Before now, I had supressed the memory and it was all a blur. I hope to seek professional help when I can afford it.

[chocolat]

@ lala1, I pray that God gives you the strength to tell your story to your family one day. And I hope one day you can confront your uncle on what he did to you. Once you confront your uncle I know the burden will be lifted off your shoulders. Of course is not going to be easy, you can only fight this battle one day at a time.

Believe me, you are already a survivor and in time you will be stronger.

[Guest Lala1]

@ lala1, I pray that God gives you the strength to tell your story to your family one day. And I hope one day you can confront your uncle on what he did to you. Once you confront your uncle I know the burden will be lifted off your shoulders. Of course is not going to be easy, you can only fight this battle one day at a time.

Believe me, you are already a survivor and in time you will be stronger.

 

Thank you very much for your kind words. I sincerely appreci

ate it.

[chocolat]

@ lala1 Am glad you appreciated my little advise.

[simple]

@ simple I got a watering eyes when reading about the abused you went through in the hands of your uncle. I can't imagine going through such a dramatic experience at such a tender age and having your innocent ripped from you.

You are a strong woman and am glad you've moved on.

As far as the physical and emotional abuse btw your girl and you. Am glad y'all are working towards a health relationship. Communication is a key in good relationship. Always express how to you feel to your girl in a respectful manner and am sure she will do the same in return. Stay strong.

Awww thanks dear and I read ur story too in ur secret post,I trully hope one day u summon the courage to tell ur parents. Its sad that animals like that walk free, and whether u came or not its still rape and no one deserves dat. Be strong dear

[Diff]

I have never been abused, and those who have and work towards a change deserve to be appreciated...

I personally hv emotional issues that had been recommended therapy, and I lock myself away from ppl so I dnt hurt them with my attitude and mood swings.

But I've never felt like hitting or hurting ppl before.

But those who work hard to break free from their past, you all deserve hugs <***

[chocolat]

@ simple thanks for the advise. I really want to confronted the lady in my situation but for some reason is easier for me to ignore her. Plus, she's married with kids now..

[chocolat]

@ diff, why do you have emotional issues??? Have you ever being abandoned before? There are reasons for your insecurity.

Once you identify those reasons, you will deal with the emotional issues/ mood swing better.

 

Thanks for the hugs....

[Spicyjay]

i was raped by a bf when i was in my senior year in college n dats becos i refused sex in the relationship. though my parents got him arrested and they came apologising. i hv forgiven him as i hv moved on a long time ago. but the scar lives on.

[chocolat]

@ jaypie... Omg Am so sorry to hear that. Am so glad the fool was arrested.you definitely need some type of counselling to put that experience behind you. I will keep you in my prayers and stay blessed

[Spicyjay]

tnx chocolat u r indeed sweet but for counselling dont think i need it cos seriously i hv moved on n it doesnt disturb my present n future. if i could date n get married den i hv overcome d insecurities n fears.

[FlyJ]

Have you every being in a abusive relationship or witnessed any form of abuse from family, friends and relative. Please cover this areas in your write up.

1. Where you the abuser or victim

***. When did the abuse started?

***. Did you inform anyone about your struggles and situations.

4. Did you seek professional help

5. Did you find closure.

6. Have you shared your experience with anyone

7. Are you still in the abusive relationship and Are you still dating the abuser.

8. Why or why not.

9. Did the situation change your view on life positively or negatively.

10. Are still a victim or a survivor.

 

Please keep it real and honest in this conversation.

 

Yes, i have been in an abusive relationship , and it was not a pleasant experience.

1) Victim

2) Shortly after my ex gf moved in and started going through my phone/personal stuff.

***) I informed a few people about it . I don't believe in going through abuse and keeping quiet. I think it makes things worse.

4) No, i wasn't going loco just yet. LOL

5) I am not sure i did. I just learnt to live without that thought.

6) Yes, i have.

7) No, i am not. I have so much respect for myself and i don't deserve to be in an abusive relationship. I learnt that abuse is not the same thing as love.

8) Explained above

9) It changed my view on people negatively. I just can't see myself dating anyone without doing due diligence on the person. I also think that everyone that comes to my life and finds out that i am gay will try to blackmail me.**Scary**

10) A BOLD SURVIVOR. I CAN NEVER BE A VICTIM OF ANY SORT OF ABUSE.

[FlyJ]

I was abused as a child by my uncle too. I was either 4/5. And it stopped, but at 8 he touched me again. I never told a family member. My best friends know about it. Maybe some day I'll get the nerve to tell my faily members about. Someday. As for now, it's still a secret.

 

I definitely need closure, and the help of a professional. I'm more than certain I do. And till I do, I feel I can't fully decide whether I am a victim or a survivor. Somedays I feel like a survivor, other days like a victim. I've actually just started dealing with and talking about the issue. Before now, I had supressed the memory and it was all a blur. I hope to seek professional help when I can afford it.

 

So sorry to hear that. I think the main problem with abuse is the inability of victims to speak out. It is a very hard thing to do especially when it comes to family, but it is necessary just to make sure the person is brought to book. If you still see your uncle, you should confront him about it and don't be afraid. You are a survivor because you are living above the abuse; You are not a victim. Never see yourself as a victim. See yourself as a Survivor and always act like one. Remember you alone can define what you really are , and i know you are a "SURVIVOR".

Keep Your Head High Up and Never Let It Drop.

[Diff]

@ diff, why do you have emotional issues??? Have you ever being abandoned before? There are reasons for your insecurity.

Once you identify those reasons, you will deal with the emotional issues/ mood swing better.

 

Thanks for the hugs....

 

 

Yeah I've been working on my mood swings... Over the years I've battled insults and insecurities... And as much as I love being different I still had confidence issues. Also it's been very hard to control my mood swings, all I can do is suppress the way I react to them. Thanks for the concern tho... :)

And abandonment is one of my biggest fears, so I run away from people because of that. Dnt want to get attached n abandoned. Friendships and relationsjips in general... The fear of abandonment ruins the possibility of that most of the time.

[chocolat]

@ FlyJ, Am so glad you've moved on. You've learnt from your struggles and your past is behind you.

No one deserve to go through any form of abuse or pain in silence.

 

@ diff, Am happy you are working on yourself. You are a strong woman and in time you will over come all your insecurities. I will recommended, you read a few books on how to build back confidence. Am sure it will help you alot in being secure with yourself. Just take it one day at a time

[Diff]

***xxxxxxxchocolat thanks a lot :)

[mifled]

Yeah I've been working on my mood swings... Over the years I've battled insults and insecurities... And as much as I love being different I still had confidence issues. Also it's been very hard to control my mood swings, all I can do is suppress the way I react to them. Thanks for the concern tho... :)/>

And abandonment is one of my biggest fears, so I run away from people because of that. Dnt want to get attached n abandoned. Friendships and relationsjips in general... The fear of abandonment ruins the possibility of that most of the time.

 

I align myself with u but im working ob it. Reading books like the little book that changed ur life

[Guest Lala1]

So sorry to hear that. I think the main problem with abuse is the inability of victims to speak out. It is a very hard thing to do especially when it comes to family, but it is necessary just to make sure the person is brought to book. If you still see your uncle, you should confront him about it and don't be afraid. You are a survivor because you are living above the abuse; You are not a victim. Never see yourself as a victim. See yourself as a Survivor and always act like one. Remember you alone can define what you really are , and i know you are a "SURVIVOR".

Keep Your Head High Up and Never Let It Drop.

Thanks Fly J! I need as much encouragement as I can get. I think fear is the only thing stopping me from coming out about my abuse. I believe it's a discussion I have to have with my family at some point though. Thank you, again.

[FlyJ]

God will see you through @ Lady J. Stay Strong!