Chilee Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 A Tweet, I recently came across, inspired these questions. Is it okay to demand some space from your partner? How long should this supposed "alone-time" last for? Would you be happy being with someone who constantly "zones- out" or feels the need to go through a "dark" phase alone without you, their partner, and doesn't see the need for any explanation on why they need that time, alone? Is it selfish to want to help your partner get through a difficult phase? Good morning everyone 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted August 22, 2019 Moderators Share Posted August 22, 2019 Hahahahaha @ what does this even mean?! At the end of the day, people are who they are to be honest and for some, they believe they are best when left alone. For me, It's about loving them and being there even if it is from a distance. I think that it is okay to have your moments and to require some space. But what you describe up there seems quite excessive. That may be due to a deeper mental health issue. In this case then, the best way to proceed is probably to seek professional advice. It isn't selfish at all to want to help someone get out of the dark. That comes naturally with loving another. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted August 22, 2019 Moderators Share Posted August 22, 2019 9 hours ago, Chilee said: Good morning everyone 🙂 Hello Chilee 🙄👋🏽 lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 12 hours ago, Chilee said: A Tweet, I recently came across, inspired these questions. Is it okay to demand some space from your partner? How long should this supposed "alone-time" last for? Would you be happy being with someone who constantly "zones- out" or feels the need to go through a "dark" phase alone without you, their partner, and doesn't see the need for any explanation on why they need that time, alone? Is it selfish to want to help your partner get through a difficult phase? Good morning everyone 🙂 Hmmmmm.. This is a deep one *In a traditional Igbo chief's voice* I have something in my head to write, but its all mumbo jumbo. Dunno how well to write what I want to write.. Lemme just consult the gods... But first, some Libation.. Good evening to you @Chilee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilee Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 4 hours ago, kimi said: Hahahahaha @ what does this even mean?! It was for special effects...lol 4 hours ago, kimi said: That may be due to a deeper mental health issue. In this case then, the best way to proceed is probably to seek professional advice Very valid; sometimes it's painful to watch those we love go through stuff alone but maybe the issue is beyond what we think it is. Truly, we all need some time for ourselves; communicating this need is very important, and a partner who understands this makes everything easier. Thanks for sharing your thoughts @kimi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilee Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 31 minutes ago, Txunamy said: Hmmmmm.. This is a deep one *In a traditional Igbo chief's voice* I have something in my head to write, but its all mumbo jumbo. Dunno how well to write what I want to write.. Lemme just consult the gods... But first, some Libation.. Good evening to you @Chilee Hahaha...We await what the gods shall reveal😁 Good evening @Txunamy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I need alone time. Absolutely need it. But alone time isn't the same as asking for a break. Relationships are exhausting, a lot more for some people than others. Being available, catering to some other persons needs mostly emotional saps me. So I need time "away" from the person who I'm giving all that emotional support to in other to refuel. This applies to every aspect of my life. Relationship, friendship, work. My friends have since understood this about me but its being a reoccurring problem explaining it to lovers. People are different and so are our energy and emotional bandwidth. If you happen to be with someone who doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to "always be available" to you, the best thing to do is talk it out in order to understand where they are coming from. Thank you 😀😀 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilee Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 11 hours ago, Hawken said: So I need time "away" from the person who I'm giving all that emotional support to in other to refuel. Oh wow! This makes so much sense. 11 hours ago, Hawken said: the best thing to do is talk it out in order to understand where they are coming from. Key👌🏾 Thank you @Hawken This explains a lot and I've learnt a new term; emotional bandwidth😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 On 8/23/2019 at 6:31 AM, Chilee said: Oh wow! This makes so much sense. Key👌🏾 Thank you @Hawken This explains a lot and I've learnt a new term; emotional bandwidth😁 😀 glad i could offer some insight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MENA Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 On 8/23/2019 at 4:34 AM, Hawken said: I need alone time. Absolutely need it. But alone time isn't the same as asking for a break. Relationships are exhausting, a lot more for some people than others. Being available, catering to some other persons needs mostly emotional saps me. So I need time "away" from the person who I'm giving all that emotional support to in other to refuel. This applies to every aspect of my life. Relationship, friendship, work. My friends have since understood this about me but its being a reoccurring problem explaining it to lovers. People are different and so are our energy and emotional bandwidth. If you happen to be with someone who doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to "always be available" to you, the best thing to do is talk it out in order to understand where they are coming from. Thank you 😀😀 I got you Hawk. Am like that too. I call it having my moment and l have been in relationships that they just understood and respected my space when am having my moment not until l dated someone younger for the first time, and that became an issue. she made me felt as if l have a big problem. Explanations became even more exhausting for me and l felt so pressurised for the first time in my life about that. She felt it is odd for me to be quiet or wanting to be alone when every one is gisting. And l think it was part of the issue why our relationship didn't work out. The truth is people have different personalities. Some may be as a result of the nature of their work or they just need time to themselves to figure out things on their own. Is not like they are angry with you or anyone. They just want to have a moment to themselves. The best you can do, is to ask if the person is alright and if she says yes, just let them be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilee Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 5 hours ago, MENA said: The truth is people have different personalities. Some may be as a result of the nature of their work or they just need time to themselves to figure out things on their own. Is not like they are angry with you or anyone. They just want to have a moment to themselves. This is true👌🏾 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewoma Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 True talk@mena....u said exactly what I have in mind😘😘😘 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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