Rules of FWB

[chocolat]

A friend with benefits is someone you sleep with on the regular with no responsibility to be her girlfriend. Some people believe this type of hookup is too good to be true, but I think it is possible. It just takes maturity, timing and communication. Like any good relationship, making sure both parties know exactly where everything is means smooth sailing.

 

I’d like to think that we live in a world that is sex-positive, and for most people, we do. Finding someone to get a friends-with-benefits thing going means asking for exactly what you want. Maybe it could be with a woman you have slept with in the past and the sex was pretty comfortable, or it could be someone new. The important thing to make sure of is that your friend with benefits knows that this relationship is going to start and end with sex. It’s important to both be on the same page and remember that there is nothing wrong with discussing this.

 

Here are some rules you should maintain, to avoid any headache/heart break

 

Pick someone you wouldn’t normally date. Okay, step one. This is important. This will ensure that you don’t accidently fall in love with her, or at least postpone it for as long as possible.

2. Insist that things will not get complicated. It’s just sex. What’s complicated about that? All you’re doing is engaging in the most intimate act two people can perform, on a regular basis with someone whom you’re attracted to. Things are going to be fine! You’re a single gal, taking on the big city, in control of her own destiny and making her own choices. Good luck

 

***. Don’t text her for any reason other than sex. Don’t make up weird excuses to text her, like how your professor was a d**ck today, or you saw this really sad pigeon. Keep your messages focused on future hookups only.

4. Have her slap you across the face. Friends with Benefits are like sexual test kitchens, and tonight you are Ina Garten. But instead of baking rustic apple tarts, you’re dressing as a leprechaun and peeing on someone. Seriously, this is an opportunity to try all that stuff you were too embarrassed or afraid to try in your previous relationships. Experiment, have fun, and most importantly, please give me the details.

 

5. Don’t make pancakes. Don’t even keep food in your fridge except for a pack of kelp noodles and some old parmesan. You need to make your apartment as uninviting as possible in the morning. You don’t need her sticking around plundering your groceries and messing with your Netflix queue. That’s girlfriend stuff, and it’s just going to mess with your head. If she’s lucky, she gets 30 minutes and a banana; then it’s out the door.

 

6. Don’t kiss her goodbye. Remember, this is not a relationship. Remind yourself of this by having incredibly uncomfortable goodbyes devoid of affection and eye contact. A pat on the arm or a shoulder squeeze does nicely in a pinch. If you’re not sure what to say as she slinks out the door, “catch ya later, works nicely or an unenthusiastic “later girl", is also fine.

 

7. Break it off after three months (or don’t). Three months is the longest amount of time one can sustain this kind of relationship without it getting complicated. After three months, it’s an emotional free for all. You’re probably going to start getting cosmic about the whole thing. Time to refer back to rule number two, and continue onward despite your best interest. Just remember you’ve been warned.

8. Reach your breaking point. Friends with Benefits are like junk food. They’re addictive and delicious, but they don’t sustain you, and one day you’re going to wake up in a bed of metaphorical Snickers wrappers and think crap, what am I doing? Time to sit down with yourself and ask, is this actually going anywhere or am I just backing myself into an emotional corner? If the answers are no, and corner, please refer to rule number 10.

 

9. Send her on her way. This is the way your relationship ends. Not with a bang (although try to squeeze one more in if you can), but with a whimper. Yes, it hurts, but you’ve done the right thing.

Ladies, please answer the following questions.

 

Have you being in a FWB relationship

Did you play by any rules

Did your feelings/emotions got the best of you

What advise do you have for people who has never being in FWB situation

[moresko]

This is "Friends" with benefits, except for 1 and 2; the rest don't seem very friendly, they seem to describe a f**k buddy . I have been in a FWB relationship, and we did other things except f**k, we hung out, had coffee, worked out together, and so on. It has ended now, no hurt feelings, we still talk when she's in town.

If you in a FWB situation, keep it simple, don't be disrespectful, make sure two of you understand what the relationship is, and what it isn't.

[chocolat]

This is "Friends" with benefits, except for 1 and 2; the rest don't seem very friendly, they seem to describe a f**k buddy . I have been in a FWB relationship, and we did other things except f**k, we hung out, had coffee, worked out together, and so on. It has ended now, no hurt feelings, we still talk when she's in town.

If you in a FWB situation, keep it simple, don't be disrespectful, make sure two of you understand what the relationship is, and what it isn't.

 

Am glad Your FWB worked out fine for you. However, there are instances where FWB gets complicated and is because emotions where involved. A good friend of mind was in a FWB relationship for 6 months. One day, they girl told her she met someone and she's dating but they will still play on the side. Hmmmmm lets just say that did not go down well. Jealousy and emotions took over and they stop talking.

We are all emotional creatures and to avoid any headaches and disappointment; Their must be some types of rules and my rules does not or may not be applied to your situation.

[moresko]

Am glad Your FWB worked out fine for you. However, there are instances where FWB gets complicated and is because emotions where involved. A good friend of mind was in a FWB relationship for 6 months. One day, they girl told her she met someone and she's dating but they will still play on the side. Hmmmmm lets just say that did not go down well. Jealousy and emotions took over and they stop talking.

We are all emotional creatures and to avoid any headaches and disappointment; Their must be some types of rules and my rules does not or may not be applied to your situation.

 

I am all for setting rules, and boundaries (they are very important in every relationship) but I disagreed with some of yours, that's all. Even we did, was within the boundaries we set for our relationship.

[candy345]

I 've not being in FWB rltshp n I dnt wanna start now, ask me why? I dnt knw, or maybe because I blieve before sex comes deep passion or because I am too emotional, dnt trust my self going into sometin that 'll not last. A frnd of mine indulge in it..... but not for me.

[FlyJ]

Have you being in a FWB relationship ---- Yes, i have been in one.

Did you play by any rules ---- Not really, we just had this no feelings thing going on and see whenever.

Did your feelings/emotions got the best of you--- Nope, she was just good for s**.

What advise do you have for people who has never being in FWB situation -- Don't let emotions get the better part of you.

[Skills]

hehehehehe.....:-P

[Rencie]

Never did and never will. My body is too precious to be used as some chic's sex machine.

[FlyJ]

I like

[Skills]

@flyj pls elaborate, expantiate n descrivez! Hehehehe...:-P

[FlyJ]

LOL.. I should have quoted @ LadyOmah... I meant i like her comment.

[Ebelina]

Have you being in a FWB relationship ---- Yes, i have been in one.

Did you play by any rules ---- Not really, we just had this no feelings thing going on and see whenever.

Did your feelings/emotions got the best of you--- Nope, she was just good for s**.

What advise do you have for people who has never being in FWB situation -- Don't let emotions get the better part of you.

 

I toooootally agree with u! Its all about how u curb ur emotions...

[milaz]

Lmfaooo. Sex is never just sex. As long as ur body is physically entwined wth anothers on a regular There will always be more.if it happens once and never reoccurs, I think it simplifies tjings a little buy if it becomes a regular treat. Then there is u are' 'friends with benefits' So I think... if ur mind can handle it..brave on. If not, leave it.

[M2DD]

Let me finally answer this;

 

I've been involved in this before. We made it clear to each other, that we were just having fun, I never got emotionally entangled in the whole thing, but she did later and wanted a relationship.

 

My advise to anyone is that, be sure of who you're going into this with, because if you don't get emotionally attached,the person might and if you don't want a relationship, you might hurt the person.

I've learnt the hard way.

[relangel]

I have not being in FWB before, but I believe people go into it because of failed relationships. There was time such thoughts came to me after I suffered series of heartbreak. If I see who appeals to me and possess the qualities I wan I wouldn't mind giving it a shot.

[Skills]

Yes I have been in a FWB kinda rship bfor,...works for me bcos i hv a particular mind set for it...to me,it is a 'means to an end'...I can only go into it when am not in a rship...I neva go into it with a best bud cos I may loose dat friendship...if u know Hw to abide rules,it'll totally work for u...just hv it at the back of ur mind dat,when I meet someone I wanna go into a serious rship with,then we definitely ending dis n vice versa...No offense ,but this is basically it!

[Skills]

Let me finally answer this;

 

I've been involved in this before. We made it clear to each other, that we were just having fun, I never got emotionally entangled in the whole thing, but she did later and wanted a relationship.

 

My advise to anyone is that, be sure of who you're going into this with, because if you don't get emotionally attached,the person might and if you don't want a relationship, you might hurt the person.

I've learnt the hard way.

Minini,dis is so true ,it has happend to me a couple of times,but I will always tell u dat I wud not be responsible for how u feel at the end of d day ....u won't make me feel like a horrible person at d end,no, bcos the whole aim of the rship wud not be achieved ...if u cnt control ur emotions,sorry ,I wudnt knw how to help u !

[Abystacy]

Well I have been in a FWB in the past. And it worked out perfectly well. We knew what the deal was and we sticked to that. No sentiments no hard feelings ....its been long over but we still keep in touch .

[Modd]

Checking the archives on NL... ;)/> interesting sturvs...

FWB can be done, I guess. You guys just have to be on the same plane, as in have an understanding.

I have tried it once. Was with an ex actually, she asked for it. I was sure I didn't want to get back together (too much drama with that chick) so i figured i had nothing to lose.

But shortly into it, I found it unappealing really, I need some emotional connection to do all that... Plus she got Smug about it. One time when I thought I might be feeling her, chick refuses to put out that night. *rolling eyes*. (Like I said "drama"). Didn't as much as kiss her after that. Everyone's happy now. Moving on... :D/>

[Iris]

I can't do. Get really depressed if l have sex outside of a relationship. Bouts of guilt and shaming.