Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic...true power is restraint. if words control you that means that everyone else can control you...breathe and allow things to pass. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You should give a f***k.You really should but only about things that set your soul on fire.Save your f***ks for magical shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MENA Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 6 minutes ago, Phegore said: You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic...true power is restraint. if words control you that means that everyone else can control you...breathe and allow things to pass. True talk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 The meaning of life is just to be Alive. it is so plain and so obvious and so simple and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves. ~Alan waits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 The buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds,your hands shake,your knees go weak,that's not the one. when you meet your "SOULMATE" you'll feel calm.No anxiety,no agitation. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayBlac Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Phegore said: The buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds,your hands shake,your knees go weak,that's not the one. when you meet your "SOULMATE" you'll feel calm.No anxiety,no agitation. Hmmmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 6 minutes ago, RayBlac said: Hmmmm... I agree may seem counterintuitive ...but take a moment to think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayBlac Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Phegore said: I agree may seem counterintuitive ...but take a moment to think about it. It actually makes a lot of sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 3 hours ago, Phegore said: The buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds,your hands shake,your knees go weak,that's not the one. when you meet your "SOULMATE" you'll feel calm.No anxiety,no agitation. Do you mind explaining this a bit more plainly? Thanks . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 2 hours ago, dequeen said: Do you mind explaining this a bit more plainly? Thanks . A soulmate is someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge,awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. I believe all we really want as human beings is a calm,knowing existence-love is not excluded from that. Unfortunately,a lot of modern day tales of love would have us believe that true love is a mixture of chaos,concern and fraught with anxiety.it can't really be love if you aren't tenterhooks about your partner. People mistake intensity for soul :so they reason that if a relationship is intense and tumultuous,then it is the real deal. However,I've fallen foul of the belief a few times myself,it is easy to justify the wrong relationships with the idea that love is "supposed to be hard work" and that it's suppose to challenge us. While I'll agree,the right relationship should challenge you and help shape you-this should only be to become a more authentic,happier version of yourself.it shouldn't involve tears,self doubt,heart ache and pain. I think the quote is basically saying that you have found a soulmate when you look at your own state of being and even though life continues to have ups and downs,you feel that the majority of your life feels good.A relationship with your soulmate will be deep,calm and happy at the same time.you experience that tranquility and feeling that you don't have to keep searching. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 25 minutes ago, Phegore said: A soulmate is someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge,awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. I believe all we really want as human beings is a calm,knowing existence-love is not excluded from that. Unfortunately,a lot of modern day tales of love would have us believe that true love is a mixture of chaos,concern and fraught with anxiety.it can't really be love if you aren't tenterhooks about your partner. People mistake intensity for soul :so they reason that if a relationship is intense and tumultuous,then it is the real deal. However,I've fallen foul of the belief a few times myself,it is easy to justify the wrong relationships with the idea that love is "supposed to be hard work" and that it's suppose to challenge us. While I'll agree,the right relationship should challenge you and help shape you-this should only be to become a more authentic,happier version of yourself.it shouldn't involve tears,self doubt,heart ache and pain. I think the quote is basically saying that you have found a soulmate when you look at your own state of being and even though life continues to have ups and downs,you feel that the majority of your life feels good.A relationship with your soulmate will be deep,calm and happy at the same time.you experience that tranquility and feeling that you don't have to keep searching. Love express with the Love doctor phegore.. 80.0 Naijalezfm. ☺ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, Ivyy said: Love express with the Love doctor phegore.. 80.0 Naijalezfm. ☺ Lol ivvy lemme alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, Phegore said: Lol ivvy lemme alone. I'm not holding you ooo. Dr phegore.its got a nice ring to it..you'd soon be a Dr anyway.. ☺ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Wow , @Phegore , I need to head to your PM. We have a lot to talk about. Before I head there, have you heard of the saying that the one will often bring out both the demon and angel in you? That they are capable of revealing your worst and best self to you? What is your stand on this concept? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 2 hours ago, dequeen said: Wow , @Phegore , I need to head to your PM. We have a lot to talk about. Before I head there, have you heard of the saying that the one will often bring out both the demon and angel in you? That they are capable of revealing your worst and best self to you? What is your stand on this concept? I agree Sometimes I hear this statement being regurgitated continuously.The most prevalent theme is that "your soulmate/perfect match/the one/life partner should only bring out the best in you".i have to disagree with this a little bit. I’m not saying go date someone who makes you feel miserable and only brings out your insecure, chaotic, depressed side. Or someone that seriously hurts you or belittles you. But is it really so bad to date someone that doesn’t always bring out the best in you if you think about it? I feel whoever you are in a relationship with should constantly, without effort , bring out the worst in you.They should be able to pull to the surface all of your difficulties and problem areas and that should force you to confront them. In a healthy relationship this can be extremely beneficial to personal growth. Evelyn Riley once said "Within a healthy environment you should have partner you look up to show you your shortcomings and hopefully inspire you to fix them". How can we mature if we are only around people that nurture our good qualities? As human beings we should always aim to outgrow ourselves and that can only be done when your horrible qualities are brought to light and confronted. I personally would want someone who does show me what I'm failing at and supports me changing.support is an essential part of this.it's important that not only should a relationship pull out your insecurities/negatives and highlight/complement your strengths,but it's full of support and nourishes you to try to improve. There is no greater feeling than being with someone who sees the potential for positive change in you and is there beside you through the process. Truth is you can only improve so much on your own.at some point,whether it's an honest friendship/romantic relationship you need a human Mirror to give feedback on who you are. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 @Phegore Wow, I have always believed this concept but have always been unable to explain it, you have helped me understand something I believe. That support that you speak of, that is what commitment means. Commitment is not fair weather as most people like to think. Do you believe in "Forever love"? There's this popular phrase, " Nothing lasts forever", how do you relate it to the concept of love? Secondly, in another post, "Do you consider yourself relationship material" I think. You mention that you tend to make your partner the center of your world (something we know to be rather unhealthy), my question however is, how do you find closure when it goes sour? This is the center of your world, how do you find closure? I know some people do so by vilifying the person, I haven't found my technique yet, what is yours? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 11 hours ago, Phegore said: I agree Sometimes I hear this statement being regurgitated continuously.The most prevalent theme is that "your soulmate/perfect match/the one/life partner should only bring out the best in you".i have to disagree with this a little bit. I’m not saying go date someone who makes you feel miserable and only brings out your insecure, chaotic, depressed side. Or someone that seriously hurts you or belittles you. But is it really so bad to date someone that doesn’t always bring out the best in you if you think about it? I feel whoever you are in a relationship with should constantly, without effort , bring out the worst in you.They should be able to pull to the surface all of your difficulties and problem areas and that should force you to confront them. In a healthy relationship this can be extremely beneficial to personal growth. Evelyn Riley once said "Within a healthy environment you should have partner you look up to show you your shortcomings and hopefully inspire you to fix them". How can we mature if we are only around people that nurture our good qualities? As human beings we should always aim to outgrow ourselves and that can only be done when your horrible qualities are brought to light and confronted. I personally would want someone who does show me what I'm failing at and supports me changing.support is an essential part of this.it's important that not only should a relationship pull out your insecurities/negatives and highlight/complement your strengths,but it's full of support and nourishes you to try to improve. There is no greater feeling than being with someone who sees the potential for positive change in you and is there beside you through the process. Truth is you can only improve so much on your own.at some point,whether it's an honest friendship/romantic relationship you need a human Mirror to give feedback on who you are. Dear Love Dr phegore.. My heart is broken. Do you think it can ever be mended? And just yesterday, I was bitten by the love bug.. It stings so bad, how can I stop it from hurting? 😁 don't mind me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 6 hours ago, dequeen said: @Phegore Wow, I have always believed this concept but have always been unable to explain it, you have helped me understand something I believe. That support that you speak of, that is what commitment means. Commitment is not fair weather as most people like to think. Do you believe in "Forever love"? There's this popular phrase, " Nothing lasts forever", how do you relate it to the concept of love? Secondly, in another post, "Do you consider yourself relationship material" I think. You mention that you tend to make your partner the center of your world (something we know to be rather unhealthy), my question however is, how do you find closure when it goes sour? This is the center of your world, how do you find closure? I know some people do so by vilifying the person, I haven't found my technique yet, what is yours? Thank you for your thought provoking questions, I really enjoy responding to them. 1. Do you believe in the phrase “Nothing lasts forever” and how is it related to the concept of love? My favourite rapper J.Cole once said “The bad news is nothing lasts forever, the good news is that nothing lasts forever” How you interpret this paradox and how you use it to shape the things you do is what makes you the person you are. What you believe matters and doesn’t matter, what you find of significance and what you find to be trivial, what you dedicate your life to defines the person you become. Who doesn’t want safety and security? It’s built to our genetics to strive for it. You want a job you can count on forever. You want relationships that will never fade. We want blissful and happy moments that will never come to an end. Truth is when you invest your time, money, energy and heart into something, it’s only natural you want that investment to pay off for a very long time, But in all honesty, nothing lasts forever. Throughout our lives, we enter and leave many relationships. The most complicated usually being romantic relationships. When our relationship with a significant other ends, it usually breaks us. We don’t understand why it happened, or we do understand but can’t really accept it. It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone who was a significant part of your past is no longer a significant part of your present or future. The reason it is so hard is that we fail to see that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many times the romantic relationships we partake in are there simply to teach us something. It gives us the opportunity to grow and mature. It allows us to learn about ourselves, others, and relationships in general. The relationship may not have lasted forever, but what you learn from that should last a lifetime. Though it may be difficult to accept, what needs to be understood is that some people are meant to be in your life only for a moment. When a relationship ends, we tend to isolate ourselves. We block ourselves off from the world. We don’t want anyone to see the pain and struggle. We fight back when people are negative and we don’t want to talk about. We instead ask ourselves questions that have all but one answer. Why did it end? Where did we go wrong? How did this happen? There is only one clear answer. It wasn’t meant to last forever. It’s a scary thought now, but someday it will make sense. We also feel something no one likes to feel: regret. We blame ourselves or we blame the other person, but the truth is, it may be no one’s fault. Sometimes things don’t work out. It doesn’t mean that either person did anything to cause it, and placing the blame won’t help. It will only cause more problems. Sometimes you just drift apart, it’s a natural thing to occur. It only means that the people grew, but the relationship didn’t. There is no blame to be placed. You just have to be understanding and hope that there are no hard feelings. You can still be happy for each other and wish them the best. You deserve to be in a relationship that you value. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. If the relationship you are in is not providing that then you should and need to move on. That doesn’t make the other person a bad person, it just means they weren’t right for you. Sometimes you are in the right relationship with the wrong person. Even if that person wants all the same things as you do, if they are not providing those things, you need to move on. If you want to move on then do it. If they want to move on, let them. Don’t stay in a dead end relationship just because you are afraid. Don’t sit at home wondering what went wrong. Don’t keep going through the messages and looking at the pictures. Learn to live again, go out and do something fun. Reconnect with people and connect with some new people. Find a new love. Do something you enjoy and try something new. You never know what will happen next, but you won’t find out if you never move on. So stop reliving it. Don’t forget the lessons that were there, but also don’t keep trying to figure out where it went wrong and what could have been done differently. I’ll like to say that you should embrace the phrase ‘’ Nothing lasts forever’’, don’t think about it in a negative way. The truth is your relationships will end ,Your depression will end…The feeling that nothing lasts forever gives you a chance to open and expand and to think about things differently. When we know that nothing lasts forever it gives us freedom to enjoy the moment and any new situation that life brings and that’s how we learn and grow. If you believe it and behave like nothing lasts forever. And if you accept it, you are not attached to the notion of things lasting forever and it gives you freedom. A freedom of attachment. The Buddha once said “The root of suffering is attachment’’. When you remove attachment good things happen. “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand. “Make me feel whole”. Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people’’.>Deepak chopra (So love, but love without attachment) Enjoy the moment while it’s in front of you; be present. Accept life for what it is-a finite span of time with infinite possibilities. Treat friends with the utmost respect. Treat your girlfriend/wife to your full attention. Treat today like it matters-because it does. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dipbluesae Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Phegore said: Thank you for your thought provoking questions, I really enjoy responding to them. 1. Do you believe in the phrase “Nothing lasts forever” and how is it related to the concept of love? My favourite rapper J.Cole once said “The bad news is nothing lasts forever, the good news is that nothing lasts forever” How you interpret this paradox and how you use it to shape the things you do is what makes you the person you are. What you believe matters and doesn’t matter, what you find of significance and what you find to be trivial, what you dedicate your life to defines the person you become. Who doesn’t want safety and security? It’s built to our genetics to strive for it. You want a job you can count on forever. You want relationships that will never fade. We want blissful and happy moments that will never come to an end. Truth is when you invest your time, money, energy and heart into something, it’s only natural you want that investment to pay off for a very long time, But in all honesty, nothing lasts forever. Throughout our lives, we enter and leave many relationships. The most complicated usually being romantic relationships. When our relationship with a significant other ends, it usually breaks us. We don’t understand why it happened, or we do understand but can’t really accept it. It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone who was a significant part of your past is no longer a significant part of your present or future. The reason it is so hard is that we fail to see that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many times the romantic relationships we partake in are there simply to teach us something. It gives us the opportunity to grow and mature. It allows us to learn about ourselves, others, and relationships in general. The relationship may not have lasted forever, but what you learn from that should last a lifetime. Though it may be difficult to accept, what needs to be understood is that some people are meant to be in your life only for a moment. When a relationship ends, we tend to isolate ourselves. We block ourselves off from the world. We don’t want anyone to see the pain and struggle. We fight back when people are negative and we don’t want to talk about. We instead ask ourselves questions that have all but one answer. Why did it end? Where did we go wrong? How did this happen? There is only one clear answer. It wasn’t meant to last forever. It’s a scary thought now, but someday it will make sense. We also feel something no one likes to feel: regret. We blame ourselves or we blame the other person, but the truth is, it may be no one’s fault. Sometimes things don’t work out. It doesn’t mean that either person did anything to cause it, and placing the blame won’t help. It will only cause more problems. Sometimes you just drift apart, it’s a natural thing to occur. It only means that the people grew, but the relationship didn’t. There is no blame to be placed. You just have to be understanding and hope that there are no hard feelings. You can still be happy for each other and wish them the best. You deserve to be in a relationship that you value. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. If the relationship you are in is not providing that then you should and need to move on. That doesn’t make the other person a bad person, it just means they weren’t right for you. Sometimes you are in the right relationship with the wrong person. Even if that person wants all the same things as you do, if they are not providing those things, you need to move on. If you want to move on then do it. If they want to move on, let them. Don’t stay in a dead end relationship just because you are afraid. Don’t sit at home wondering what went wrong. Don’t keep going through the messages and looking at the pictures. Learn to live again, go out and do something fun. Reconnect with people and connect with some new people. Find a new love. Do something you enjoy and try something new. You never know what will happen next, but you won’t find out if you never move on. So stop reliving it. Don’t forget the lessons that were there, but also don’t keep trying to figure out where it went wrong and what could have been done differently. I’ll like to say that you should embrace the phrase ‘’ Nothing lasts forever’’, don’t think about it in a negative way. The truth is your relationships will end ,Your depression will end…The feeling that nothing lasts forever gives you a chance to open and expand and to think about things differently. When we know that nothing lasts forever it gives us freedom to enjoy the moment and any new situation that life brings and that’s how we learn and grow. If you believe it and behave like nothing lasts forever. And if you accept it, you are not attached to the notion of things lasting forever and it gives you freedom. A freedom of attachment. The Buddha once said “The root of suffering is attachment’’. When you remove attachment good things happen. “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand. “Make me feel whole”. Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people’’.>Deepak chopra (So love, but love without attachment) Enjoy the moment while it’s in front of you; be present. Accept life for what it is-a finite span of time with infinite possibilities. Treat friends with the utmost respect. Treat your girlfriend/wife to your full attention. Treat today like it matters-because it does. You are just too smart for your own good, doc. 👍👏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 19 hours ago, Phegore said: I agree Sometimes I hear this statement being regurgitated continuously.The most prevalent theme is that "your soulmate/perfect match/the one/life partner should only bring out the best in you".i have to disagree with this a little bit. I’m not saying go date someone who makes you feel miserable and only brings out your insecure, chaotic, depressed side. Or someone that seriously hurts you or belittles you. But is it really so bad to date someone that doesn’t always bring out the best in you if you think about it? I feel whoever you are in a relationship with should constantly, without effort , bring out the worst in you.They should be able to pull to the surface all of your difficulties and problem areas and that should force you to confront them. In a healthy relationship this can be extremely beneficial to personal growth. Evelyn Riley once said "Within a healthy environment you should have partner you look up to show you your shortcomings and hopefully inspire you to fix them". How can we mature if we are only around people that nurture our good qualities? As human beings we should always aim to outgrow ourselves and that can only be done when your horrible qualities are brought to light and confronted. I personally would want someone who does show me what I'm failing at and supports me changing.support is an essential part of this.it's important that not only should a relationship pull out your insecurities/negatives and highlight/complement your strengths,but it's full of support and nourishes you to try to improve. There is no greater feeling than being with someone who sees the potential for positive change in you and is there beside you through the process. Truth is you can only improve so much on your own.at some point,whether it's an honest friendship/romantic relationship you need a human Mirror to give feedback on who you are. Hmmmmm Issoryt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 @Phegore this has been really enlightening for me. Thankyou for taking the time to respond. We will continue this chitchat in le PM. Gracias. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted January 19, 2018 Administrators Share Posted January 19, 2018 “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dipbluesae Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Don't try to be perfect. Just being an excellent example of a human being is enough. Tony Robbins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Never trust a person that is as quiet as a mouse during sex. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phegore Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Stop comparing start living your unique journey. You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving.Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life.you are not in competition with anyone else.plan to outdo your past,not other people. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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