Administrators FlyJ Posted March 30, 2014 Administrators Share Posted March 30, 2014 My dear Ghanaians Its church, not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'. Doctor, not 'Dactar'. My fellow Nigerians Its bath, not 'baff'. Our currency is called Naira, not 'narrah'. My dear Edo people Its argument, not 'ajument'. My dear Yorubas Its Air, not 'hair'. Eight, not 'hate'. Its Van Persie, not 'Fan Persin'. My dear Ibadan peeps Its not 'sun tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its not 'siro' but zero! My dear Hausa people Its fifty, not 'pipty'. Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its five, not 'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it is 'Tuface weds Annie Macauley', stop saying 'Toothpaste weds Animal calling'. My Egun people Its actually 'MTN' and not 'NTM'! My dear Calabar peeps Kindly note its love and not 'rurf'. My Benue people Its not 'Lick Loss', its 'Rick Ross'. My Igbo people There is nothing like 'thaaasand', it is thousand. It is bed-sheet and not 'bay sheet'. And its thirty, not 'thartie'! Our Lord's prayer is actually 'Our Father, who at in Heaven. Hallowed be your name...', and not 'Our Father, look at eleven, adaobi thy name.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suavity Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Lollllz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted April 27, 2014 Administrators Share Posted April 27, 2014 njuwo: At a launching ceremony, Chief Akpos who is an illiterate noticed that each dignitary making a donation had two titles attached to their names. For instance, Chief (Dr.) Ofego Akpe, Prof (Pastor) Oghenefegor Akwaruta, etc. Chief Akpos was determined not to allow anyone upstage him at the occasion. When it was his turn to speak, he took the microphone and announced: I, Late (Chief) Akpos Akpomiemie Akpororo Atanatene donate the sum of N500,000 cash. Late Who?? The hall was empty in 60 seconds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suavity Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Hahahhahahha akpos eh.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted May 18, 2014 Administrators Share Posted May 18, 2014 Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new CEO for Microsoft Europe. Five thousand candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Ayodele a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know Java program to leave. Two thousand candidates leave the room. Ayodele says to himself, "I do not know JaVa but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try. Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. Two thousand leave the room. Ayodele says to himself "I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. Five hundred people leave the room. Ayodele says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serb-Croatian to leave. Four hundred ninety-eight candidates leave the room. Ayodele says to himself, "I do not speak one word of Serb - Croatian but what do I have to lose?" So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said, "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serb - Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language." Calmly, Ayodele turns to the other candidate and says, "Wahala wa o!" The other candidate answers "O gaju o 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simpl384 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 sharp yoruba guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daftpunk Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 My dear Ghanaians Its church, not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'. Doctor, not 'Dactar'. My fellow Nigerians Its bath, not 'baff'. Our currency is called Naira, not 'narrah'. My dear Edo people Its argument, not 'ajument'. My dear Yorubas Its Air, not 'hair'. Eight, not 'hate'. Its Van Persie, not 'Fan Persin'. My dear Ibadan peeps Its not 'sun tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its not 'siro' but zero! My dear Hausa people Its fifty, not 'pipty'. Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its five, not 'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it is 'Tuface weds Annie Macauley', stop saying 'Toothpaste weds Animal calling'. My Egun people Its actually 'MTN' and not 'NTM'! My dear Calabar peeps Kindly note its love and not 'rurf'. My Benue people Its not 'Lick Loss', its 'Rick Ross'. My Igbo people There is nothing like 'thaaasand', it is thousand. It is bed-sheet and not 'bay sheet'. And its thirty, not 'thartie'! Our Lord's prayer is actually 'Our Father, who at in Heaven. Hallowed be your name...', and not 'Our Father, look at eleven, adaobi thy name.. You are kirrin me ror Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calllaris Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Lesbian and santa claus Lesbian: For Christmas, I want a dragon Santa: Be realistic Lesbian: Ok, I want a girlfriend Santa: What color do you want your dragon? Elevator row: This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator I was starring at her boobs when she said, "would you please press one?" So I did. I don't remember much after that Vagina: A vagina is like a thin roof. If you don't nail it enough, it ends up at the neighbors. Lesbian to a male suitor: You are the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi and the ketchup to my ice cream. My point is you are worthless Setting love free: If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down, beat it with a club and drag it back home. Conclusion: Its a joke not a d**ck, don't take it so hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted October 20, 2015 Moderators Share Posted October 20, 2015 LOL! Funny bunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Lmaoooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 DIFFERENCE BTW A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A NIGERIA ADVICE ! Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I'm from Uk, i love my husband so much and i do anything to please him on bed.. i even suck his d**ck too but he has refused to suck mine.. pls advice me how to tell him to go down on me cos i really want my Kitty-Cat juice sucked. Comments * James silva : I think u need to talk to him, marriage is communication. * Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. ve bin in ur shoes before .. i told him right away when we were aving sex and he is an expert in it * Micheal paper : I get downwt my wife, its cool i love doing it.. u shud talk to ur husband. NIGERIAN PAGE ! My name is Aminat, i stay in Abuja, married wta kid, my husband have refused to suck my p***y, what shud i do.. No insults abeg COMMENTS * Dayo muyiwa : Fool, sex na food? * Nkiru joy : Yu are a disgrace to womanhood..sham e on u * Idris kunle : Any news abt Assu strike? * Toheeb sule : If u want i can suck for u call my no 0708312455 * Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all better go findsomtn do wt ur life, suck koor, soakaway nii * Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger * Amaka Achebe : U r a prostitute, u need deliverance! :lol: :lol: I can relate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 ibo traders be swallowing big fufu like they want to kill the worms in their stomach by stoning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 ibo traders be swallowing big fufu like they want to kill the worms in their stomach by stoning. Dry!!! *quickly runsaway* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted October 21, 2015 Moderators Share Posted October 21, 2015 Hahahahaha! Too funny @ fufu and death by stoning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Lesbian and santa claus: Lesbian: For Christmas, I want a dragonSanta: Be realisticLesbian: Ok, I want a girlfriendSanta: What color do you want your dragon? Elevator row: This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator I was starring at her boobs when she said, "would you please press one?" So I did. I don't remember much after that Vagina: A vagina is like a thin roof. If you don't nail it enough, it ends up at the neighbors. Lesbian to a male suitor: You are the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi and the ketchup to my ice cream. My point is you are worthless Setting love free: If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down, beat it with a club and drag it back home. Conclusion: Its a joke not a d**ck, don't take it so hard. I had a really good laugh reading these! hahahahahaha! sooo funny especially cause they had a gay twist to them...... Good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modd Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Oh boy! Hilarious! Hahahaha!!!. Naija sites sha. Why would anyone go looking for advice there sha. OYO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modd Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Oh boy! Hilarious! Hahahaha!!!. Naija sites sha. Why would anyone go looking for advice there sha. OYO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calllaris Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I had a really good laugh reading these! hahahahahaha! sooo funny especially cause they had a gay twist to them...... Good one! DARK HORSE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 This is absolutely hilarious. ..I can't deal :lol: DIFFERENCE BTW A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A NIGERIA ADVICE ! Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I'm from Uk, i love my husband so much and i do anything to please him on bed.. i even suck his d**ck too but he has refused to suck mine.. pls advice me how to tell him to go down on me cos i really want my Kitty-Cat juice sucked. Comments * James silva : I think u need to talk to him, marriage is communication. * Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. ve bin in ur shoes before .. i told him right away when we were aving sex and he is an expert in it * Micheal paper : I get downwt my wife, its cool i love doing it.. u shud talk to ur husband. NIGERIAN PAGE ! My name is Aminat, i stay in Abuja, married wta kid, my husband have refused to suck my p***y, what shud i do.. No insults abeg COMMENTS * Dayo muyiwa : Fool, sex na food? * Nkiru joy : Yu are a disgrace to womanhood..sham e on u * Idris kunle : Any news abt Assu strike? * Toheeb sule : If u want i can suck for u call my no 0708312455 * Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all better go findsomtn do wt ur life, suck koor, soakaway nii * Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger * Amaka Achebe : U r a prostitute, u need deliverance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Teacher: Kola, spell plantain Kola: whish one? the lipe one or the unlipe one? He asks "Which one? The ripe one or the unripe one?", some people (like me) have trouble with the 'r', and with some people, it sounds like an 'l' Teacher: what difference does it make? Just spell plantain! Kola: Teasha, If you fly the lipe one na 'DODO', if you fly the unlipe one na 'SHIPS' if you loast am, na 'BORLI' All of them na plantain, so whish one you wan make I spell? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Dry!!! *quickly runsaway* why? re u an ibo trader? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Teacher: Kola, spell plantain Kola: whish one? the lipe one or the unlipe one? He asks "Which one? The ripe one or the unripe one?", some people (like me) have trouble with the 'r', and with some people, it sounds like an 'l' Teacher: what difference does it make? Just spell plantain! Kola: Teasha, If you fly the lipe one na 'DODO', if you fly the unlipe one na 'SHIPS' if you loast am, na 'BORLI' All of them na plantain, so whish one you wan make I spell? Hahahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted October 23, 2015 Administrators Share Posted October 23, 2015 An Inspector from the Ministry Of Agriculture came to my grandfather's farm and talked with my old farmer grandpa. "I'm here to inspect your farm." He said. My old farmer grandpa said, "You better not go into that field." The Inspector said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the Nigerian Government with me. See my I.D card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land." So my old farmer grandpa went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Ministry of Agriculture Inspector running to the fence and chasing after him was my old farmer grandpa's cow. The cow was very crazy and the cow was catching up with him. My old farmer grandpa called out, "Show him your I.D card!" 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 An Inspector from the Ministry Of Agriculture came to my grandfather's farm and talked with my old farmer grandpa. "I'm here to inspect your farm." He said. My old farmer grandpa said, "You better not go into that field." The Inspector said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the Nigerian Government with me. See my I.D card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land." So my old farmer grandpa went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Ministry of Agriculture Inspector running to the fence and chasing after him was my old farmer grandpa's cow. The cow was very crazy and the cow was catching up with him. My old farmer grandpa called out, "Show him your I.D card!" LMAOOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modd Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 A 7-year old girl calmly confessed to her parents that Billy Brown kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" Gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy" admitted the young lady, "three girls helped me catch him and hold him down" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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