Home - Away from chaos

[Dipbluesae]

A new world 🌎 of my own...

Please do not comment. Bless your sweet heart.😁

[Dipbluesae]

My peace away from chaos. Because I hate being alone, it feels good to know that you are someone I can depend on.

Every day I spend with you, I laugh. Louder than the previous. Louder. Happier. Because you are someone who understands me. Who doesn't judge me.

I am not that easy to understand, I know.  Even more so now, at this time when I could care less about so many things. Still, you care for me. You love me with so much understanding. You listen to me with so much patient. You respect the living hell outta me. 

I don't think any woman have ever respected me this way. Truly seen me. It's like you know what I need at every moment. You don't wait for me to ever ask. 

You do things, these little things that I see, like getting a chapstick for my broken lips when I barely notice. You are so thoughtful. Now, I wake up every morning with a new message professing your love to me. Ezigbo m.

I have never met anyone more down to earth than I am but you. So respectful. So contented with life. I look at you and I see a reason to be content. To live a simpler life. 

Spending time with you was utmost happiness. It was all I needed. I know my heart still have a long way to go in believing in love again. But I am grateful for you. With whatever's left of my heart, I adore you and appreciate the human that you are. I look forward to more moments and sincerely another tomorrow.  

Xoxo - To 'De' woman who loves me silly. 🩵

[Dipbluesae]

I know the things that scares you. I am well aware of your inner fears. It scares me too, because you are someone who is really good to me. I am not blindfolded by love so I see you to be the most fair-minded person I have ever met.

You say one day at a time and I agree. My heart has been wronged beyond measure. It does not intend to rush into romance ever again. But,

Someday, I am gonna love you silly. Someday, I am gonna love you beyond measure.

Because I am the happiest when I am with you. For now, we take life a minute, a day and to me that is more than enough.

Xoxo - To 'De' woman whom I intend to love silly. 💜

[Dipbluesae]

It's midnight on a Saturday.

I broke up yesterday with the one who loves me like crazy. I feel so lost but not because of her. Because of me. I have never been in this situation in my life before.

No matter how much I try I just couldn't feel much. I loved her, she cared so much for me, but I was not inlove with her. 

Still, we had good times, I am gonna cherish those moments and always root for her. She is a very good girl. She worshipped me.. literally. I hope she is okay. I hope she knows that I always knew that it will eventually end. I hope she finds a better person. I hope she takes care of herself and don't come back.. cause I will always feel the same way.

I am breaking hearts. Sad. I hope this is the last. I hope I truly fall in love again someday.

Meanwhile I am heading home for 6 months and I am super excited! 6 months in Nigeria seems like a dream come true.

[Dipbluesae]

Thinking about what I am gonna be doing in Nigeria for 6 months.

Lol I dunno yet. Perhaps I will go to the stalls in the evening to buy bole and yam, akara and bread in the mornings, try mama put. I haven't had mama put in a long-time. I'll go to the market and go to a bar to eat peppersoup in the evenings. These little stuff I miss. I will really like to live like an average 9ja person without the whole charade of an abroadian.

I will hang out with old friends of course and make new ones.. and get to know lgbtq people. I will probably hook up too.. dunno yet🤷‍♀️

I will travel a bit to other states. I will stay off SM for sure. Overall, I think it will be fun. 

Didn't know I love Nigeria this much tbh. Turned out you don't know how much you love something until you lose it.😁

[Dipbluesae]

Tomorrow I'm 28.

It's my first birthday where I didn't have a crazy week. Later, I'm going out with R to have a little quiet fun. 

I'm getting old lol 😀. Actually we are all getting old 😅

Old is good. There is nothing else I would ask from the universe except may we live long and may I find my person.

 

♡♡

 

[Dipbluesae]

'May I find my person.'

It was like the universe heard me on my birthday because on 17 May before making my previous post, I met someone.

At first, I didn't really consider it as anything just like everyone else I'd met.

I mean I was talking to quite a handful of women at the time..but none of them really moved me.

But this person.. I liked her from the first time we spoke. I really liked her. It also seemed like she likes me, so we've been talking ever since.

Yesterday, we booked our vacation home for a short stay to get to know each other more and ofcourse go on our first date. Exciting stuff! 😁

And get this? She paid for almost half of everything. Forgive me but this is the first time a woman has extended a financial supportive hand towards me... and a huge one, and on her own accord, so I was super grateful 🙏

She told me, "you wouldn't have to do these things alone." Trust me I was smittened 😊

She is quite an introvert, this person. Rarely goes out. Works from home. And very BEAUTIFUL. And THOUGHTFUL. And SUPER SMART. And HATES INFIDELITY. And quite COMFORTABLE for someone who lives in Nigeria. If you know me, well, you'd know this is like my cue. 😁

Anyway, I'm gonna talk more about her qualities later. But trust me, she is a complete package.

Do I like her? Absolutely. I wanna get to know her more.. everyday

Am I scared? Yea, sometimes I overthink it with lots of what ifs.

However, with each day I spend with her I am less afraid because she seem so sincere. 

"One day she woke up and told me, she prayed for us".. lol for some reason, that was romantic.

I'll come back again and talk about the first date when it happens. Right now, I am beginning to feel like the hoe-rt breaking phase is over and that she might be my answered prayr.

So we'll see... One thing I can tell you for a fact is this, being at home for the rest of the year will be very interesting and there won't be any hearts breaking, at least not from this side. 😉

 

[Dipbluesae]

Earlier this year.. 

I was so confused about life, you know. Because I am someone who truly wants to end up with another person. I kept thinking and being so indecisive. Wanting to run back to familiarity thinking they were gonna be the next best thing in my life. Which didn't happen and which I am grateful for. And now, thankfully, here we are.

So for my trip, I had stopped working, made flights reservations and pickup arrangements, got my malaria pills, insect repellent, etcetera. I must confess it's been stressful not to mention expensive but totally worth it. My next update will come when I am eating suya..and peppersoup and I promise will talk more about her. 😁

I know I talk about this trip quite but it's all because I am truly truly excited! Words cannot describe. 

Top that to meeting such an amazing human 😊.  Also, I landed a new project that will allow me work from there, not the best pay but it will keep me afloat for the time being.

It has been amazing so far with us btw. Don't worry it's not one of those quick stuff we all do for sex. I am super-duper interested. 

We truly understand, respect and are into each other. Of course that is not to say that things can't go wrong when we meet, but I choose to be positive about it right now and yes, I am still praying because I have been super happy and grateful these past weeks.

Abuja, here I come. And may we succeed! 

Xoxo - Wildflower ♡

[Dipbluesae]

Today is for my mom.

Last night I restored my mother's only photo that I have. The first was quite blurry so I never really got to see her face clearly before now. You see, I never really knew her. I was less than a year old when she died. 

I have been putting off the image restoration too.. cause I knew I'd be a mess after seeing what she looked like. And I was so right.

Today I have been a mess and I miss my mother. Terribly.

But I am happy, thanks to technology I get to see what she looked like and how pretty she really was. That quiet woman. Also, I look so much like her..except unlike her I have a dark skin tone. She was a remarkable woman.

Today is for my mother. All I have done is think of her and what could have been had she been here. 

I miss my mom and I love her..and feel so sad for her cause she died so young.

Today I weep for her. And I remember her like always.

♡♡

[Dipbluesae]

I got into the country, and she gave me a cold to welcome me! 😀

I've been up until the wee hours of the morning, postponed interviews, and have had trouble falling asleep but I've been having a blast in the interim. One time, I went for a stroll with my cousin and am guessing I shed some weight after walking such long distance. Then, I visited this one place and had a horrible lunch. I'm not complaining, though. Only positive thoughts haha

I have spent a lot of time with my family and siblings, incredibly happy and excited! But what makes me even more excited is my planned trip to Abuja to see her. Funny, this is my first time of traveling to someone's city to see her. I am always very careful when I meet women in Nigeria so I rather invite them instead.

I suppose I am anxious, but she's nervous, I can tell that much lol. Because we are both quite reserved people, we have talked so much about this and how not to be shy and all that lol but hehe..Anyway, I'm really looking forward to meeting her and going on a real date out with her soon.

I adore her. I do, really. She is a wonderful person who genuinely cares for me and understands me. She makes me feel appreciated and valued and I truly like that.

So about the date.. coming next.

[Dipbluesae]

I am having the best time of my life!

I am literally laughing my ass off while writing this 😁 

Words cannot explain how awesome this past few weeks have been for me especially since I came to Abuja to be with the absolute favorite person in my life right now. 

So we became official. We both wanted it. 

Before I came to Abuja, I was so scared. Lots of what ifs lol.. but when I saw her, I knew I made a great choice 👌🏽 

I am like short of words right now. But the universe did bless my ass massively. I am in awe! 

I sleep and wake up with this beautiful human beside me and I am so thankful everyday!

6 months after this, I don't think I'd ever wanna be apart from her. She is the calmest human I've ever met. It's hard to see someone so opinionated and yet so calm. So full of happiness and joy. So beautiful! So generous and so thoughtful. 

I haven't met anyone half as good. Half as kind. Half as smart! She is everything I thought she'd be. 

Our vacation is coming to an end and it has been a great experience. We have had so much fun!

I am thankful everyday for a day like this, for this person and for what the future holds. May the universe see us through and may this happiness continues. 🙏 ✨️ 

[Dipbluesae]

So the date..😁

I took her to an Indian restaurant called Cilantro somewhere in downtown. A really beautiful place filled with ambience of intimacy. 

We ordered for 4 different food options and cocktails.  I totally wanted to spoil her and I hope I did. The food was 🔥.

After drinking we got tipsy lol and she began telling me crazy stuff... haha. She was so cute. Really cute..

Anyway, we are back to her place now and I am staying for a bit before I go back to Lagos. We still having really great time together. 

I love her. She is the cutest thing in my world right now. We have so much prospects.  So much dreams and goals, individually and together that I hope comes to pass.

Right now, I am happy. We are happy. And we are in love.  And that's all I can ever ask ♡

I landed 2 new clients couple days ago.. haha when this money comes in, I will take her out and spoil her silly yet again! 

Ifedinma rie m ego 😁

[Dipbluesae]

Unlike me she is not a talker. As an introvert I can be quite a talker when I get comfortable around someone, but not her. She is the quiet calm introverted one. I know she is not very expressive with her feelings and she struggles to put her feelings into words because sometimes she can't really explain.  She is a writer.. though..an awesome one but not when it comes to putting her feelings into words, so I do most of the expressing especially before bed. I remind her what she means to me and all that she is to me.

So on days like this when she wakes me up with beautiful words of affection, I feel very valued and loved.

This woman is everything I ever wanted and more. So I pray sometimes that on the days when we'd fight or get mad at each other, I hope that we remember what we mean to each other.

You're the best thing in my life right now.  I am grateful that my trip and your sacrifices hasn't been in vain.

I am grateful for you.

[Dipbluesae]

It's one month here and I am sorry to say.. I love Nigerian food, I love Nigerian weather.. but I don't think I love Nigeria or maybe even most of our people.

To get the simplest things done here is frustrating asf! The simplest.

This week I went and renewed my passport and got it after day one with more money of course. I go to buy stuff and once people hear accent they will start updating prices.. this one is driving me crazy.

It's almost like everyone is out to get the other person. Has Nigeria always being like this or...

 I detest it. Totally. Today.. I just wanna rant. Damn it! 

[Dipbluesae]

How have we been doing?

Pretty GREAT actually. Our lives in general have been nothing short of amazing. Never been happier. Aside from the sickness this past two weeks. We both had malaria and typhoid at exact same time. It was annoying.  But we also fumigated the apartment to get rid of insects, so we had a 2 days getaway. 

I lost couple jobs that I would have gotten due to location and I was quiet sad. So, I have decided to stop applying for full-time jobs and only freelance. Currently have a steady client so doing pretty okay.

My baby lost her job last month and got a new offer same day that was supposed to be her last day.. most fortunate human I've ever seen.  We were so happy.

I am so happy with her. Truly.

I went to my first LGBTQ hangout sometime ago and it was quite good. A small gathering it was. Seems like LGBTQ people are being targeted so everyone is careful. I'd love to make more stud friends but again... Although, I think people here don't wanna be close friends unless you wanna f***k or date them.. It's why I'm sticking to studs.. maybe they won't want me to f***k or date them at least..

Someone I know, an acquaintance  of sort invited me and assumed that we were gonna have sex even after I told her I have a girlfriend.

It was funny.. I don't know what gave her the audacity lol.. I asked, she just laughed and said it was a joke. I knew she was serious asf. Well, if you know me.. you'd know cheating has never really been my thing.. 

I am thankful for life. For this beautiful human and every good thing. Thankful like never before. 

This week, I took my first classes towards getting a degree in IT and it wasn't so bad. I look forward to what the future holds.. for me and for us. I imagine it's gonna be beautiful. 

Did I mention. I watch BBN and I am a BAYETRIBE. Really rooting for our Gen-Z Baddie. 

 

[Dipbluesae]

I don't talk about the times we disagree because it's not often that we do.

For example, last night we had a squabble lol. I call it squabble because it's never serious. I think in general we disagree maybe once or twice a month and to be honest, it's mostly because of her that we don't fight.. 

She is a very patient and understanding human. I, on the other hand, can be quiet a handful. Stubborn but not unreasonable.

Also, thankfully, I am not abusive or rude and disrespectful to her.  No name calling or loud yelling or putting down. Never.

We do not ever put each other down in any way. We respect each other even in our anger and I am doing my best in keeping to that just as she is. But I can be unnecessarily stubborn..  

During this quarrel I told her I wasn't gonna go to bed. I was gonna sleep in the living room.. cause I wanted her to come and beg me to sleep on the bed.. so childish. Lmao I know. 😁

The thing is, I didn't wanna sleep on the couch. I don't like it and we both knew this. I still went and lie down there anyway.. 

Couple minutes later she came to ask me to come to bed.. the way I rushed up eh.. lmao 😅

Amazing human. This person.  Smart asf! She knows me so well. I do know one thing for sure.. she is the most important person in my life and I never fail to remind her how much I appreciate her. A gem in human form. This blessing. I feel truly blessed because of her. The universe remembered me for sure.

[Dipbluesae]

"Tech made the difference in my life.

Today, someone I follow on SM wrote this and I can totally relate. When I look at myself, It's hard to believe that I do not have up to 2years experience yet in tech, still it has made so much difference in my life.

I travel as much as I want and wouldn't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, and yap! I do love good food. 

I started with html, Css then CMS (WordPress, Squarespace, Wix), took a product design course. Currently, I design with Canva, Figma, illustrator, then did social media management, and customer Support. Then comes AI; ChatGPT, Midjourney, Uizard, Quillbot. In a space of 2 years, lmao I have learnt so much! Someone once said, learn everything you can and when someone wants something done with it.. just charge them and I do charge! Haha! I don't do anything for free tbh 😅 I don't use to have the strength lol

Right now I am learning how to bid better, how to win client’s and how to manage my work while outsourcing it. And it's been aiit.

Truly speaking, Tech has made so much difference in my life in such short time. I am new to freelance and I love it.. and I wanna get better.

With a friend, I am launching a small freelance agency in couple weeks. Hopefully, this will help me grow. I also really like the opportunity to offer Nigerians some job without stressing the hella outta them and paying them peanut. (This pisses me the hell off!) Most people I work with are happy and appreciated. I have a freelancer who has been working permanently with me since I started. I pay her well and in addition, buy her monthly data and I don't stress her AT ALL. We work 4hrs a day, 4 days a week and we rest lol. And I promise you, She makes more with me than her full-time job.

I also have others who I outsource gigs to when it comes.. a product designer, graphic designer and another a developer. Three amazing guys who do really amazing jobs, and I do my best to appreciate them in my own way. 

With the agency, I hope to expand outside my regular people.

So landing more clients means giving more people work.. and I am really hoping this thing pans out. Pray for me. 

[Dipbluesae]

It's been a crazy couple weeks.

I completed the first term of my classes and launched the agency so was truly burnt out.

I started a new term this week. And so hired my graphic guy permanently.  Still learning how to work with him and streamline project so as to ensure good workflow.

Currently I am managing a development project, and a design project. The dev work is almost done, so hopefully I'll be free soon. I've had 2 meetings with clients this week. I look forward to something coming out of it.

It's been awhile we traveled.. or even left the house. We need it so bad.

Goodnews! My baby started getting days off from her work at her new job so I am really happy that she gets to rest. 

Right now, I guess I started writing about this cause I listened to "prayed for you" by Matt Steel tonight and I am all mooched up lol 😁

It's like one of my all time favorite songs. And sometimes, when I look at this woman sleeping beside me.. my heart wants to burst open with joy. Truly speaking, I can count how many times I have been this lucky in my life.

My baby.. My flower.  The most reasonable. The most empathic.  The most understanding person I have ever met in my life! 

I must have felt so in love cause I just booked a staycation for us at one of the best hotels in the city. I think I wanna surprise her. Although I am not good with surprises lol. She will absolutely shout tho. I'm sure 😅

My baby has done so much for me this past weeks. From being there for me_ physically, emotionally, mentally and financially. I can not count. I am just so grateful.  

I wanted to do something for her. This seem perfect. I hope this makes her smile. Heck! It's making me smile already. 🙂

This place is my baby's kinda place. Quite serene. 

Again, I hope I make her smile. Girl deserves the whole world and rightly so. 🌼  

From a grateful heart. Forever grateful I am.

[Rainflower]

PS:

 

I have been unable to log into my DBS acct. All of a sudden the acct and email no longer works. I think I have been hacked. Just putting it out there while I try to recover my acct. Stay safe everyone 

[Dipbluesae]

Account is Back.

[Dipbluesae]

It bothers my girlfriend a lot that she is dating me and people would think it's because of money or visa or you know abroad fever lol.

It's funny because my girlfriend is not broke. She can take herself to any country of her choice to live or study.

Yet it bothers her. Doesn't bother me a bit!

Made me remember one of my ex's attempting to mock me for not giving her my bank statement to apply for a visa. That one would have gladly married me for visa lol and maybe divorce my ass 😅 

Anyway, a part of me doesn't like that she is bothered. Another part of me kinda appreciates that about her. 

So, Canada made some crazy ass rules cutting down students to 360k because of the housing crises currently going on there. But before that..

Around September I started convincing my girlfriend to move to Canada with me maybe as a student or even visitor because I want a life for us but of course, she was quite reluctant.  Then, when she finally made up her mind to.. we applied for a visitor visa that has not been approved still. 😐 

We also got admission and finally applied for a study visa. My baby paid for every damn thing. Full tuition, GIC account and extra backup funds for miscellaneous.  I am so proud of her. My baby is a woman and more!

I hope she knows that I could never have made a better choice of a partner.  She is the best thing that has happened to me in a long long time..

Tbc...

[Dipbluesae]

About the agency..

I have done pretty well actually, in my own definition. Started last year July and we have continously done 1 to 1.5m naira monthly since then.

However, this year I have decided to do a tad better, I am going to register the business in 🇨🇦  as soon as I go back and also go back to paid employment but this has presented certain challenges for me.

Currently, I am hiring one Sales/Business Representative to cover some aspects and hope that my current team members will sit up. I have not really been too impressed with their work ethics especially with working remotely. Sometimes, I feel like they use the time for other stuff. But I am about to set them up straight starting today.. I hope I don't have to fire them.. I will if I have to.

Anyway, I am taking the next step to hopefully getting us to 3 - 5m a month at most by end of year. Just to be realistic. I am not blind, however, to the challenges that a paid employment can bring. So I need to work a bit harder. 

Still, I am grateful for the business.  For my clients and for the opportunity. 

And of course, grateful for my baby who has been nothing short of encouraging and a constant blessing in my life. 🌼 

[Dipbluesae]

Happy Valentine day to my baby love. 

I miss my baby, I do. The feeling is crazy and inexplicable.  I have been trying to settle down but I can barely concentrate.  Still, I have peace. I have love. Because I have you.

The kind of love we share is indescribable. It feels so good to be finally able to relate to what people define as sincere affection.

I love my baby. With all of my heart I do. Everyday, I find new things to love about her and new ways to admire her. 

The love of my whole life. I don't ever wanna NOT do life with you. You're the dream of every woman, of every man. Indeed, you're perfection. 

You're kind. You're mine and I'm never ever gonna let you down.

I love you. I love you completely. I love you with all that is within me.

Happy valentine flower 🌼 

[Dipbluesae]

With each passing day, my baby gets closer to joining me.  February is almost over and we can't wait.

Building a life with someone you love has to be one of the most wonderful things that can happen to anyone, and right now, this is our turn.

I know it started like a joke but It's wonderful how far we've come.

It's been pretty tough being apart and I have been mostly cranky but hope has kept me going.. 😊 

As for settling down, it took me awhile but I found a place for us and I am slowly fixing it up.  It feels really good you know.. There's someone for everyone. 

I completed my PM certificate this week and I am starting my degree in April. Super excited as well about that. 

I am grateful as always for life, for family and for the love of a woman who means the whole world to me. ❤️ 

May everything work out for us and may all our dreams come true. Iseee! 

[Dipbluesae]

I miss my baby so much! This week has been a bit wild. I am furnishing the apartment and it's finally looking like home, not to mention that I'm broke asf lol. But as always, my baby has been super supportive in every way including contributing some money to help fix the apartment.  I am so fortunate. 

I miss her. So so much. It's like a whole new world. It's been difficult being apart from each other.

So far, everything is working out for us. And we're expectant, hopeful and quite happy. My baby is ready to come to me and I am ever ready for the next step.

It's funny. Less than a year ago, I was bemoaning of love and here I am today, with the purest form of love I have ever known. I am ever thankful. 

And now we wait, one day at a time until we can be together again.. very soon.

🌼