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Spate of embarassing events


kimi

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Embarrassing things I did when I was younger ...

 

I just re-told the tale to a friend and she's laughing so hard almost peeing her pants.

 

It was my service year and I just got this awesome sagem phone *covers face* (hey! Sagem used to be my dream phone) Hahahaha. I'm shy!LOL. Anyways, I cleaned this phone every other hour and used wipes weekly to be sure it was germ free *covers face again*! Hahahaha

 

Then, on this not-so-faithful day, I wanted to get it charged. I plugged it to the source but it just wouldn't charge. So I thought of the most brilliant idea! I cut off the head from the cable, pulled the cable apart and inserted the wires directly into the socket. All I heard was 'kpa!' the phone blew and started to smell very burnt. I stood there in utter sadness... my brilliant idea wasn't so brilliant after all. Hahahahaha

 

Things we did when we were young! :D

 

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I used to love Shawn Michaels ( WWE wrestler) wen I was younger and there is a way he danced into the ring b4 a match, by tearing his clothes, I loved to imitate him, buh I cudnt tear m dress evry Saturday so I chose to wear a top that had dis press buttons I cud easily remove. I kept on doin m own Shawn Michaels move up til Junior secondary, 1 faithful Saturday I didn't knw m cousin was hme wit his male frnds hearing Shawn Michael's song 4rm inside m bedroom I started dancing to d palour removing m top n didn't know we had guests u nid to see d luk on evry1's face including m mom I almost died, buh dt was d last tym I did any Shawn Michael's imitation

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M trying to estimate the year u did ur NYSC... ermmmmmm...neva mind... lmao!!!

Hahahahahahaha. If I catch you. Oya, back to the chambers! :D

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I used to love Shawn Michaels ( WWE wrestler) wen I was younger and there is a way he danced into the ring b4 a match, by tearing his clothes, I loved to imitate him, buh I cudnt tear m dress evry Saturday so I chose to wear a top that had dis press buttons I cud easily remove. I kept on doin m own Shawn Michaels move up til Junior secondary, 1 faithful Saturday I didn't knw m cousin was hme wit his male frnds hearing Shawn Michael's song 4rm inside m bedroom I started dancing to d palour removing m top n didn't know we had guests u nid to see d luk on evry1's face including m mom I almost died, buh dt was d last tym I did any Shawn Michael's imitation

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This is too funny! LOLOLOL. Na wa. I'm trying to imagine your version of the dance sef.LOL. *smh*

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I used to love Shawn Michaels ( WWE wrestler) wen I was younger and there is a way he danced into the ring b4 a match, by tearing his clothes, I loved to imitate him, buh I cudnt tear m dress evry Saturday so I chose to wear a top that had dis press buttons I cud easily remove. I kept on doin m own Shawn Michaels move up til Junior secondary, 1 faithful Saturday I didn't knw m cousin was hme wit his male frnds hearing Shawn Michael's song 4rm inside m bedroom I started dancing to d palour removing m top n didn't know we had guests u nid to see d luk on evry1's face including m mom I almost died, buh dt was d last tym I did any Shawn Michael's imitation

Hahahahahaha!!! Reminds me of my own wwe obsession with The Rock. It was so bad everyone started calling me The Rockess.

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when I was younger, I had a serious thing for fire. Why? I honestly don't know.

 

First, as told by my parents, I hardly stayed away from those kerosene lamps and always crawled up to one until I got burnt.

 

Fast Forward to 8years, I just learnt from one movie that spray insecticide plus lighter equals big fire... So I was experimenting it accidentally burnt one of my Lil sister's eyebrow. To correct this, I shaved off the other eyebrow. Till date, my sister has very scanty eyebrows.

 

Fast forward to 12, my mom just got a new oven and I was so excited to try a cake recipe I saw in one recipe book I've been studying. She told me not to ever touch till I got to fifteen. Lo and Behold, a girl needs to bake you know... And I could become a master chef with a natural talent for cooking book recipes.

So I put on the oven, while struggling to light thw match, the gas had leaked into the kitchen, I forgot that part. So I bent close and struck the match and kaboom went my hair.

 

Ooh and I remember burning my mattress then, still the spray insecticide plus lighter equals big fire thingy.

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Hahahahahahahaha... spray insecticide + lighter = big fire indeed. Sounds like Mandy in the Grim's adventures!

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### when I was 7 maybe 8, I had need to use the toilet and it was located outside the house. The time must have been 10pm. Having heard so many ghost stories as a child, i was too scared to go out. I pleaded with my older cousin to escort me, but she just opened the door and said she'll wait by it while i go all by myself. l pleaded with her to no avail and since i was scared, I told her to lock the door that I'll hold it in till the next morning. She did and we all went to sleep.

 

Few hours later, I woke up and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I went into the kitchen, picked a bowl and helped myself with it. When I was done, I covered it and went back to sleep.

 

A whip on my back was what woke me up. my mom who'd gone out for vigil night returned early that morning. She must have perceived the smell, then checked all the shoes in the house to confirm none of us had stepped on poop and brought it into the house. She woke up my cousin and asked why the house was stinking like shit and the girl must have told her i was the one who said i wanted to poop. They both went to locate it, lo and behold, there it was nicely covered and made presentable.

 

Second major embarrassment..

 

## Some years ago, I arrived in Lagos and got stuck in traffic. I was feeling so pressed, really needed to pee. I was in a car with *** men and didn't know how I was going to say it. There was no nearby bush or anything, the car wasn't even moving, the sort of horrible traffic that makes you hate your life.

 

I held it in for as long as I could till it began to sip out uncontrollably. I guess I didn't expect that since it never happened before. What bigger embarrassment could there be than wetting yourself and the car seat I thought to myself.

 

Now tensed up and all sweating, I finally whispered.."I want to pee"

 

by the time we found a spot to park and with all the bump on the road, I must have released half my bladder's content into the car seat.

 

I was totally embarrassed, I got out of the car and there was the seat, all wet.

 

The men said things like, "eyya sorry oo", "why this kind thing come do this fine gal".

 

I know they'll still be laughing at my silliness till today.

 

Another embarrassment.....

 

I recall as a teenager i wanted sending this as a text message to a friend

 

"Someone loves you, misses you, cares about you, lonely without you, guess who? The monkey in the zoo".

 

I sent the message and few hours later, the pastor's wife called me on phone. Hehehe, I had mistakenly sent her the message. I didn't know if I should stay back from church that Sunday.

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Hahahahahahaha! Funny. When reading the first, I was scared the story would end with a family member mistakenly drinking or cooking with the liquid *whew*

 

@ 2nd story:

LOL o...

Thankfully they are strangers you probably won't see ever again. Just curious though, fine geh, why didn't you scream fire earlier?!? Hahahahaha.

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Hahahahahahaha! Funny. When reading the first, I was scared the story would end with a family member mistakenly drinking or cooking with the liquid *whew*

 

@ 2nd story:

LOL o...

Thankfully they are strangers you probably won't see ever again. Just curious though, fine geh, why didn't you scream fire earlier?!? Hahahahaha.

Cook with it? ewwww, it was the main thing not the liquid ohh. I'm still trying to imagine the surprised look on their faces when they opened the bowl.

 

lol, about the second event, i cant believe myself either. was feeling shy and kept wondering what they'd think of me if I'd said it right in the middle of traffic, like someone without common sense..there was nowhere one could go.

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Cook with it? ewwww, it was the main thing not the liquid ohh. I'm still trying to imagine the surprised look on their faces when they opened the bowl.

 

lol, about the second event, i cant believe myself either. was feeling shy and kept wondering what they'd think of me if I'd said it right in the middle of traffic, like someone without common sense..there was nowhere one could go.

 

Haaaa. Hahahahahahaha! I thought it was wee. Geez!LOL.

 

LOL. The price we pay for shyness. Mehn! I honestly can't imagine what I would have done either. Please o... Considering you have a reputation, don't come weeing on our threads here o :P :D :D

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I was a victim of the last part ...and it's one of the things 2go did to me was so eager to charge my phone by all means.

 

lol, could be really awkward. How did the person take it?

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Haaaa. Hahahahahahaha! I thought it was wee. Geez!LOL.

 

LOL. The price we pay for shyness. Mehn! I honestly can't imagine what I would have done either. Please o... Considering you have a reputation, don't come weeing on our threads here o :P/> :D/> :D/>

hahaha, reputation? I've just been labeled. That might be possible if I get to wear diapers only Kimi is allowed to change. It's just a suggestion.

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lol, could be really awkward. How did the person take it?

It's my phone naw.. I cried and then console myself na me so myself ni

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kaboom went my hair.

 

You are a girl after my heart, Charice. Me, I was trying to make pizza. they said to preheat the oven. I thought "easy peasy".

Cooking 101: check if you have a gas oven or an electric oven.

So I turn the dial of the oven thinking it was an electric oven. Gas leaked in while I was kneading the dough.

I opened the oven thinking it'd be hot by now but of course it was cold. I take a peek in to see what the issue was, but its dark in there. So I grab the closest thing, a match.

Struck it and put my head in the oven and yes, kaboom!

My eyebrows, eyelashes, side burns and the hair on my arm all got singed... I smelt like asun for like 2 days.

You know how they burn the end of braids after weaving but it keeps snagging your cloths? That was how my lashes were for weeks! Sometimes the lashes would even get stuck on each other, I'll have to untangle them with my fingers so I can open my eyes!

Till this day, I don't do gas ovens anymore o. Never!

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Hahahahahahahaha! Smarty pants... *you know the rest* LOL.

Yes! "Smarty Pants is very knowledgeable!" ;)

Thank you, thank you, you're far too kind

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