Jump to content
Volunteer with Us at Naijalez: Empowering Nigerian Lesbian Community ×
Nigerian Lesbian Forum

Gender identity vs sexual orientation


dreamgal

Recommended Posts

Will you break up with your girlfriend if she decides to transition and become a guy? 

You guys have been dating for a while and you've always known she has gender identity issues, will you leave her if she transition? 

And if you stay, don't that make you straight? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Nopes. I won't leave her. We are together because I love her and if she had gender identity issues and I was always aware of it and her possibility of transitioning and still stayed.... then, I would still be there when it eventually happens

1 hour ago, dreamgal said:

And if you stay, don't that make you straight? 

Nopes. Doesn't make me straight. 

I answered this question with a particular someborry in mind. Lol. She means the world to me and I will always stand firmly by her side, to give support. Always. Hoping she doesn't sha o... hahaha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

36 minutes ago, kimi said:

Nopes. I won't leave her. We are together because I love her and if she had gender identity issues and I was always aware of it and her possibility of transitioning and still stayed.... then, I would still be there when it eventually happens

Nopes. Doesn't make me straight. 

I answered this question with a particular someborry in mind. Lol. She means the world to me and I will always stand firmly by her side, to give support. Always. Hoping she doesn't sha o... hahaha

But she won't be a "she" anymore  and if you can stay with her (him), don't you think it means it's possible for you to actually date a guy and be straight. 

Cause it's understandable that you love her and want to support her, but being a lesbian isn't about loving her. It's about being attracted to women (vag and boobs) and not men (D). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Loool. She will always be that woman I fell in love with even if she doesn't want to be referred to as a she. The heart and the soul foster a bond so deep, such superficial things tend to not matter or carry as much weight. 

This premise is based on me believing beyond any reasonable doubt that I have met the one that completes me. Consequently, all else won't matter. It shouldn't. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I came for the p**sy and now that the p**sy is gone and replaced, na to find my way. 

On a serious note, If the girl I'm dating and love so much decides she doesn't want to be a girl any longer, I'll still love her but have to let her go. Staying with her will be torturing to me since we can't have sex any longer. I'll eventually cheat on her. So it'll better I let her go. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the girl i love transitions into a man, is that still the girl i love?

But really though, her decision to transition is a personal and selfish one. So the decent thing would be for her to break up with me. If i wanted a man & woman relationship, we wouldn't be together in the first place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Apparently there are trans non binary people, and trans people who transition to another gender but still remain feminine or masculine, and this is the part were you're getting it all wrong. @dreamgal,  because your question is a trick question. one transitioning doesn't automatically make them want to be the opposite sex, you know, humans are complex and varied beings, ( we are looking at possibility here right? all thanks to your question) so what if?  the said trans  female girlfriend  transit to another gender which is supposedly male physically, but remain feminine innately because that's how she/ he feels? See ehn, stop complicating things, especially if you have no idea how these things work! just like having to see some " tomboys" who aren't interested in girls, despite their choice of appearance,  so like wise a trans person who was previously female but transit to another gender which is supposedly male physically, but remain feminine innately, depending on how they feel. the existence of trans people / non binary people prove a salient fact that gender is not that rigid, unbreakable two way street that a lot of people wish it was. 

 yes, I'd stay with her/he because I love them first, with or without transition and that has got nothing to do with my sexuality.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Clearly wasn't referring to non-binary transgenders. And the question is more about how the other party feels with the physical change and not how the trans feel inside. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those of you saying you'll stay. I'm not understanding. I understand love wins o but how about za oza room things na. What are y'all going to do with this her new D na? Lol

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, Gimbiyya said:

Those of you saying you'll stay. I'm not understanding. I understand love wins o but how about za oza room things na. What are y'all going to do with this her new D na? Lol

Haha, za oza room is very very important oo. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, dreamgal said:

Clearly wasn't referring to non-binary transgenders. And the question is more about how the other party feels with the physical change and not how the trans feel inside. 

you did a terrible job at not stating specific. If I recall, your question was about a (she transitioning to a he), that was your key question ba? and I still insist you don't have the sightly idea how these things really work, even though you are very much part of queer community. ( no offense) You of all people should understand that there is a grave, if not distinctive different between sexuality and gender,  and both are  just one aspect of a  personality trait right? Just because she transitions and uses the he pronouns doesn't influenced their/ them sexuality, This is my point.  Trans males differs. There are trans male who are involved with men,  just as do trans male who are very much interested /involved with woman, same goes when you use the above  interchangeably,  not putting aside also trans men who could never accept the socialisation of women and trans male who are non binary,  all of this do not disenfranchised them on where they fall in the sexuality spectrum. 

That said,  so what about how the other person feels with the looks?  Is like you have grouse with transgender people oo. If you don't mind me asking  aren't  there cisgendered women with "manly" attributes? Or cisgendered men with feminine attributes? Or lesbian women with manly attributes? ( chi girl  who recently came out as lesbian is a typical example when you take a cursory look at lesbians who posses manly physique but identify as woman yet sexually involved with women ) does that hinders anything, Both physically and sexually? Don't they have partners who love and appreciate them? If yes, why can't that be seen among relationship involving trans persons and their partners?  is there any difference physically between these set of couples and couples with trans partner? you make It seem like these things are news, and are non- existent. But they aren't.  

I guess those who'd love them, and appreciate them despite all, would. Shikena.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, scarlet said:

you did a terrible job at not stating specific. If I recall, your question was about a (she transitioning to a he), that was your key question ba? and I still insist you don't have the sightly idea how these things really work, even though you are very much part of queer community. ( no offense) You of all people should understand that there is a grave, if not distinctive different between sexuality and gender,  and both are  just one aspect of a  personality trait right? Just because she transitions and uses the he pronouns doesn't influenced their/ them sexuality, This is my point.  Trans males differs. There are trans male who are involved with men,  just as do trans male who are very much interested /involved with woman, same goes when you use the above  interchangeably,  not putting aside also trans men who could never accept the socialisation of women and trans male who are non binary,  all of this do not disenfranchised them on where they fall in the sexuality spectrum. 

That said,  so what about how the other person feels with the looks?  Is like you have grouse with transgender people oo. If you don't mind me asking  aren't  there cisgendered women with "manly" attributes? Or cisgendered men with feminine attributes? Or lesbian women with manly attributes? ( chi girl  who recently came out as lesbian is a typical example when you take a cursory look) does that hinders anything, Both physically and sexually? Don't they have partners who love and appreciate them? If yes, why can't that been seen among relationship involving trans persons and their partners?  is there any difference physically between these set of couples and couples with trans partner? you make It seem like these things are news, and are non- existent. But they aren't.  

I guess those who'd love them, and appreciate them despite all, would. Shikena.

 

Oh my goodness! What are you on about?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/***/2017 at 7:44 AM, dreamgal said:

Will you break up with your girlfriend if she decides to transition and become a guy? 

@scarlet, I believe this question impliedly means a girl who has undergone changes (both sex change and all) and has now become a guy aka transgender, will you breakup with her as result of these changes? Shikena. No need stretching it to binary and non binary wahala na. Lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did not come for rock hard chest, I m here for the soft Succulent body mahn.

If the premium cuts are going....I m going with them. I have sworn allegiance to brezz...not betraying my oath.

I may love her mind but it's body I m seeing.... She can be side graded to being my close friend cos that bod ain't gonna do Nada for me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Gimbiyya said:

@scarlet, I believe this question impliedly means a girl who has undergone changes (both sex change and all) and has now become a guy aka transgender, will you breakup with her as result of these changes? Shikena. No need stretching it to binary and non binary wahala na. Lol

I understood the question, but I just nided her to stop dissecting trans related topics with the wrong motive at heart, and owning to fact she knows little or nothing about this people..  and  also  she's aware of the discrimination toward them in this community.  That's all. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
12 minutes ago, scarlet said:

I understood the question, but I just nided her to stop dissecting trans related topics with the wrong motive at heart, and owning to fact she knows little or nothing about this people..  and  also  she's aware of the discrimination toward them in this community.  That's all. 

I have kept quiet all this while because by nature, I tend to avoid heated debates.

I don't think it is fair to conclude that her motive was wrong. There is no way to ascertain that. I also didn't see it from the perspective with which you did because clearly we are two different people and thus view the world differently.

More importantly, we each have our struggles. Her question (from my perspective) was from a place of sincere inquisition. What if she is asking for herself or for a friend? There is always so much more that we do not know.

Please be gentle with your responses is all i'm saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Scarlet, you sound defensive.

She asked a simple and straight forward question. You could have schooled us all (seeing as you know so much about trans people) without the passive aggression.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...