When angry with bae

[ChazBee]

Ladies, let's say bae pissed you off and I don't mean when you are mad at her, I mean when you are furious at her maybe for disrespecting you or for being an as****h**le. What do you do? How do you handle it? 

Do you shut down and break up or you work through it? 

Note : This is a relationship that you're both happy in and has made plans for the future. 

 

[Hawken]

You work through it na. Just that disrespect get levels. There is voicing raising level and there is"you must be stupid and God will punish you, biiiiitch" level 😂😂😂😂😂.

Also, there are levels to being an as****h**le. What's too much for A might be nothing to B.

Personally though, I have Zero tolerance for disrespect. If we are fighting and you call me stupid or names, I will break up with you.

[kimi]

8 hours ago, Hawken said:

You work through it na. Just that disrespect get levels. There is voicing raising level and there is"you must be stupid and God will punish you, biiiiitch" level 😂😂😂😂😂.

Also, there are levels to being an as****h**le. What's too much for A might be nothing to B.

Personally though, I have Zero tolerance for disrespect. If we are fighting and you call me stupid or names, I will break up with you.

Hahahaha... 

[kimi]

To piss me off, that's easy! Lol... If she calls me names after telling her countless times that I don't like being called names? Then that would be an express ticket I think and it's simple. My words to her would be "Don't be rude. I am not having this conversation with you. I do not appreciate this language. We do not use this sort of language in our relationship. I will allow you time to yourself to calm down and then we can have a conversation in a civil manner". Lol. Then If we are in the same space, I will leave the house for a walk. If it's a phone conversation, I would say "talk when you are calmer and can hold a meaningful conversation k". Hahaha. I'm a very calm person and I don't have time for wahala... she would know that.

Personally, I wouldn't break-up with her because of that except she fails to desist from such bad behaviour and it has deteriorated to an abusive relationship. I have a zero tolerance for abuse -it isn't love. Others would only mistreat you to the extent to which you allow. 

[kimi]

Is it just me? I find the word 'disrespect' a bit feudal when used within the context of a relationship. I tend to prefer the word 'rude' or 'annoying' or 'naughty'. 

[Mimy]

37 minutes ago, kimi said:

Is it just me? I find the word 'disrespect' a bit feudal when used in the context of a relationship. I tend to prefer the word 'rude' or 'annoying' or 'naughty'. 

Same here. I hardly get offended. The thing is, Naija babes have this weird romantic moves. They mostly show love by yabbing the hell out of you. 😂 

Words like, 'See your big head', coconut head, crayfish leg, frog, cockroach... 

They will call you stupid this moment, next moment they will be calling to ask if you've eaten. Or warn you not to ever call them again then get mad at you for heeding to their warning. 

 

 

[Damiee]

12 minutes ago, Mimy said:

Same here. I hardly get offended. The thing is, Naija babes have this weird romantic moves. They mostly show love by yabbing the hell out of you. 😂 

Lol I’ve never come across such. I don’t like being called names, it’s a ticking bomb for me.

I would let her know I don’t like it and if she doesn’t stop, that’s my cue to end it. I deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect 😊

[Michelle]

31 minutes ago, Mimy said:

Same here. I hardly get offended. The thing is, Naija babes have this weird romantic moves. They mostly show love by yabbing the hell out of you. 😂 

Words like, 'See your big head', coconut head, crayfish leg, frog, cockroach... 

They will call you stupid this moment, next moment they will be calling to ask if you've eaten. Or warn you not to ever call them again then get mad at you for heeding to their warning. 

 

 

Do you find it difficult to apologize when you've done something wrong in the relationship?

[Michelle]

19 minutes ago, Damiee said:

kindness, love and respect

and money right 😀

[Mimy]

1 hour ago, Damiee said:

Lol I’ve never come across such. I don’t like being called names, it’s a ticking bomb for me.

I would let her know I don’t like it and if she doesn’t stop, that’s my cue to end it. I deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect 😊

True. Even the name calling as a way of showing love should have it limit. Like just say you love me rather than call me coconut head. You won't die na

[Mimy]

58 minutes ago, Michelle said:

Do you find it difficult to apologize when you've done something wrong in the relationship?

No. I apologize way too often. 

[kimi]

1 hour ago, Damiee said:

Lol I’ve never come across such. I don’t like being called names, it’s a ticking bomb for me.

I would let her know I don’t like it and if she doesn’t stop, that’s my cue to end it. I deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect 😊

Awwwwwwwh.... aren't you sweet! Hahahaha ☻

[kimi]

1 hour ago, Michelle said:

and money right 😀

Hahahaha. 

[kimi]

1 hour ago, Mimy said:

Words like, 'See your big head', coconut head, crayfish leg, frog, cockroach... 

They will call you stupid this moment, next moment they will be calling to ask if you've eaten. Or warn you not to ever call them again then get mad at you for heeding to their warning. 

Hahahahaha... na wa!

[ChazBee]

I hardly ever get offended, am not a saint but i can be mad with you for many tiny reasons like not giving the right responses when needed or not acknowledging a gesture but when you actually get me furious, which almost doesnt happen I get mad and then give myself reasons to forgive you.

I had dated someone in the past who told me that apologies are like erasers in relationships and the more you use it the lesser it gets and someday you will run out and mess up an amazing drawing. so with that I've been conscious not to do things that will make me apologize but as well not hesitate the apologize when i offend.

The word 'disrespectful' is usually not in my vocabulary in relationships, Am generally respectful..... and when I see people mention it in relationships I become confused, we can be rude or annoying to each other which to me is forgiveable depending on the degree it happens but 'disrespect is what we watch out with our parents and bosses not with bae, so that I can speak my mind to you avoiding curse words and rude gestures.

Also, once I love someone there's hardly anything you can do to me that is unforgivable, when we fight just make the effort to reconcile and not shut out like the funny acts of blocking calls, text messages and whatsapp. It simply shows you are fed up and I was a nuesance you can no longer tolerate. So when am maaaaad, I just take out time and brood then give myself reasons to forgive you as long as you are making the effort too.

[Ewoma]

When we really love someone, we tend to forgive and decided to move on? But having a forgiving nature I hope Bae won't see it as a sign of weakness? 

[Hawken]

3 hours ago, Mimy said:

They mostly show love by yabbing the hell out of you. 😂 

Words like, 'See your big head', coconut head, crayfish leg, frog, cockroach...

 

😆 yabbing is definitely a love language for most naija babes.

In fact I saw a tweet a while ago, it went something like "imagine being in a relationship with someone you cannot call Ode. Tragic". It got too many likes

3 hours ago, Damiee said:

I don’t like being called names, it’s a ticking bomb for me.

I would let her know I don’t like it and if she doesn’t stop, that’s my cue to end it. I deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect 😊

I don't like it either but each time I've said so, they were just like "why so serious?".

4 hours ago, kimi said:

Is it just me? I find the word 'disrespect' a bit feudal when used within the context of a relationship. I tend to prefer the word 'rude' or 'annoying' or 'naughty'. 

Probably because you haven't experienced it. Would you call been called a "stupid bitch" rude?

1 hour ago, ChazBee said:

but 'disrespect is what we watch out with our parents and bosses not with bae, so that I can speak my mind to you avoiding curse words and rude gestures.

IDG 😆 so your parents are not allowed to disrespect you but your babe is? Chai, p**sy power 😆😆

[Ewoma]

How can u cope with an insultive Bae who complains about everything around you and still gets stuck refuses to walk away willingly. Can we call that love? Apologies everytime she does you wrong, sees you as below her level, yet still enjoy sticking around with you. Please house can we really call it love. Or friends of benefits? 

[Hawken]

7 minutes ago, Ewoma said:

How can u cope with an insultive Bae who complains about everything around you and still gets stuck refuses to walk away willingly. Can we call that love? Apologies everytime she does you wrong, sees you as below her level, yet still enjoy sticking around with you. Please house can we really call it love. Or friends of benefits? 

Its not love. Its not even friends with benefit because there needs to be mutual respect for that shit to work.

Its an abusive relationship and you should walk.

[Ewoma]

Well said 

[kimi]

40 minutes ago, Hawken said:

 

Probably because you haven't experienced it. Would you call been called a "stupid bitch" rude?

Hahahaha. Now this is extreme. I would be utterly speechless. I will call it verbally abusive. It's quite shocking people result to such language on a significant other. 

[kimi]

21 minutes ago, Ewoma said:

How can u cope with an insultive Bae who complains about everything around you and still gets stuck refuses to walk away willingly. Can we call that love? Apologies everytime she does you wrong, sees you as below her level, yet still enjoy sticking around with you. Please house can we really call it love. Or friends of benefits? 

Yups. I agree with Hawken. 

It isn't worth it. 

[ChazBee]

35 minutes ago, Hawken said:

IDG 😆 so your parents are not allowed to disrespect you but your babe is? Chai, p**sy power

Don't get me wrong @Hawken, I mean that I only have to worry about disrespecting my parents or boss, like cracking my head to choose words carefully, I don't have to do that with bae as long as I don't sound rude or cross a boundary. But come to think of it, if am mad at bae am allowed to go off nah, even though am not one of those people who kill with words cos they're mad, my mom would say it's cos of poor upbringing so she raised us to be quiet when we're angry, we use our words and not our anger so you don't say something you'll regret. 

[ChazBee]

39 minutes ago, Ewoma said:

How can u cope with an insultive Bae who complains about everything around you and still gets stuck refuses to walk away willingly. Can we call that love? Apologies everytime she does you wrong, sees you as below her level, yet still enjoy sticking around with you. Please house can we really call it love. Or friends of benefits? 

This ain't no love, the moment anybody sees you as below their standards then you are in a 'situationship'. If they refuse to walk just do the honors. 

[Ewoma]

1 minute ago, ChazBee said:

This ain't no love, the moment anybody sees you as below their standards then you are in a 'situationship'. If they refuse to walk just do the honors. 

Yes o, Friendship should be by choice not by force