Would You Date A Muslim?

[Michelle]

I must admit that I have my reservations about dating a Muslim woman, but I'm open to it.

 

[Hawken]

First of all, I hate skits like these. You go out, tell people they are pretty, flirt with them and get their numbers just because you want content for your Youtube? Irritates me.

Second off all, I dont get why this guy is surprised. The girl did nothing wrong apart from being biased and discriminatory and thats something we all have been at one point in our lives. I know for certain that not all Muslims are extremists and no one should be discriminated against based on their religion but the reality of the thing is that people are scared of Muslims, Muslim men in particular. And when it comes to dating, if there's one thing you can count on, its discrimination. Discrimination based on religion, based on age, based on tribe or race, based on size, based on height, based on networth, based on pedigree etc. I mean some people won't even have anything to do with you if you aren't vegan!

Not saying its okay but that's just how the cookie crumbles.

[kimi]

2 minutes ago, Hawken said:

First of all, I hate skits like these. You go out, tell people they are pretty, flirt with them and get their numbers just because you want content for your Youtube? Irritates me.

Second off all, I dont get why this guy is surprised. The girl did nothing wrong apart from being biased and discriminatory and thats something we all have been at one point in our lives. I know for certain that not all Muslims are extremists and no one should be discriminated against based on their religion but the reality of the thing is that people are scared of Muslims, Muslim men in particular. And when it comes to dating, if there's one thing you can count on, its discrimination. Discrimination based on religion, based on age, based on tribe or race, based on size, based on height, based on networth, based on pedigree etc. I mean some people won't even have anything to do with you if you aren't vegan!

Not saying its okay but that's just how the cookie crumbles.

I quite agree with you there...

This is a rather sensitive subject, the question in itself does come off a tad... if you know what I mean -especially as Nigeria is almost evenly split between the two religions.

[Txunamy]

A Touchy one.. 

[Mimy]

Yea why not? @Michelle, why is this even a question? What's wrong with Muslims? 

[Hawken]

13 hours ago, kimi said:

I quite agree with you there...

This is a rather sensitive subject, the question in itself does come off a tad... if you know what I mean -especially as Nigeria is almost evenly split between the two religions.

Yes the question does come off as weird for the lack of a better word. Mostly considering the fact that we are lesbians. I would have zero problems with dating a Muslim woman. It would actually be quite stimulating for me. There would be so much for me to learn.

Dating a Muslim man on the other hand is totally out of it.

When I was in university, I went out with a group of guys, while we were chilling some.other guy joined us and started started shaking hands. As he got to me, I absent mindedly stretched out my hand because why not? However, the bros calmly informed me that he doesn't shake the hands off women. I was too surprised to be embarrassed. The embarrassment did come around much later though. And my friend explaining that it was because he was Muslim weirdly made it worse.

Anyway, its been years and I still cannot bring myself to initiate a handshake with a man.

[RedSafire]

16 hours ago, kimi said:

I quite agree with you there...

This is a rather sensitive subject, the question in itself does come off a tad... if you know what I mean -especially as Nigeria is almost evenly split between the two religions.

And there in lies the problem of Nigeria. We refuse to call a spade what it is in the guise of sensitivity. If we had raised our voices earlier on when BH started, we won’t be where we are. When religion is questioned, especially Islam, Nigerians avoid. We are hostages in our own country and we all pretend it’s okay. No matter its sensitivity, we need to learn to call bad, bad. There is no religion without a bloody past, the only difference is the willingness and ability to think progressively, applying the tenets of the religion within the context of the time. A few days ago, I came across a registered Muslim organization in the north, Movement against advancement of innovation or something like that. That was it for me.

 I apologize to my Muslim sisters. I don’t want to offend, my best friend is an Imam in Kaduna state. We should learn to analyze issues objectively, I have been to UAE and Turkey, I still wonder why it’s different here.

 

3 hours ago, Mimy said:

Yea why not? @Michelle, why is this even a question? What's wrong with Muslims? 

There is nothing wrong with Muslims and I don’t think the question is wrong. Nigeria has more two major religion. Do you know the number of Nigerians who are traditional worshipers? I will dare say half the people who are Christians and Muslims are traditionalists. 

[Michelle]

3 hours ago, RedSafire said:

And there in lies the problem of Nigeria. We refuse to call a spade what it is in the guise of sensitivity. If we had raised our voices earlier on when BH started, we won’t be where we are. When religion is questioned, especially Islam, Nigerians avoid. We are hostages in our own country and we all pretend it’s okay. No matter its sensitivity, we need to learn to call bad, bad. There is no religion without a bloody past, the only difference is the willingness and ability to think progressively, applying the tenets of the religion within the context of the time. A few days ago, I came across a registered Muslim organization in the north, Movement against advancement of innovation or something like that. That was it for me.

 I apologize to my Muslim sisters. I don’t want to offend, my best friend is an Imam in Kaduna state. We should learn to analyze issues objectively, I have been to UAE and Turkey, I still wonder why it’s different here.

 

There is nothing wrong with Muslims and I don’t think the question is wrong. Nigeria has more two major religion. Do you know the number of Nigerians who are traditional worshipers? I will dare say half the people who are Christians and Muslims are traditionalists. 

Well said. Exactly what I was expecting...an honest and proper response with no offense taken by the question.

[Michelle]

Similar to the video this was an experimental question with no offense or disrespect intended. Everyone reserves the right to clearly express their opinion, sit on the fence, derail the topic, or take offense if you must. I'm not here to argue with folks.

In my opinion, it is those who harbor guilt over their true feelings toward Muslims that would take strong offense to the question. Muslims could care less about whether non-Muslims are willing to date them. They want what we all want when it comes to discrimination.

I was able to find the following responses from women to the exact same question on another forum. Enjoy 😀

"I'm not attempting to put Islam down, although I realize this thread might attract a lot of people who will, but for some reason I feel the need to avoid all things related to Islam. I'm don't treat Muslims any differently from other people, but I wouldn't let myself get too close to one nor would I date one. I feel terrible about this though because I know what it's like to be an outsider. Realizing I would reject someone because of their faith makes me feel like a bad person. I just think dating a Muslim or being close to one would bring a lot of problems into my life I don't need. What are your thoughts?"

 

"Sure. I feel the same way about Islam as I do about any other religion. I'd be happy to date someone who takes a modern, progressive interpretation of their religion and practices it in such a way that it doesn't take up too much of their life.

i.e. I'd be totally fine with dating someone who goes to religious services on holidays and maybe weekly. His religion is a source of comfort and guidance, but he recognizes that it's his and his alone and doesn't push it on to others.

I wouldn't date a fundamentalist or someone whose life revolves around their religion."

 

"One time hook-up - sure. But date? Nah."

 

"It's a topic I wanted to hear other's thoughts on. I'm not bashing Islam or labeling all Muslim terrorists like many Islamophobes. I just wanted to know how people felt about dating a Muslim. Religion is an important part of some people's lives after all. I realize some people may be offended but I guess I don't give a f***k.

If I want to avoid getting close to someone I don't spend anymore time required than by some sort of obligation like a class or job. I wouldn't go over to their house or something.

I don't know for sure dating a Muslim would create problems but I feel that I can reasonably assume it would. Many of their beliefs don't mesh well with mine. And honestly, are Muslims even allowed to be gay?

You didn't answer my question. Would you personally be open to dating a Muslim?"

 

"Hell no. I wouldn't date any religious fella."

 

"A secular one? Ofcourse. Someone who ' s really into religion n'stuff ? hell no"

 

"I wouldn't date anyone actively practicing religion. Christianity is just as stupid as (actually, in a lot of ways, quite more hypocritical and ridiculous than) Islam or any other religion really."

 

"Most likely not. I'm not a fan of religion and I openly criticise it so I don't think a religious person would like me anyway. I think it's important to have roughly the same position on religion in a relationship due to conflict."

 

"No. Absolutely not. Not no way not no how. Religion is the product of ignorance, fear, and violence, and I find some of them particularly terrifying. The power a comprehensive doctrine has on the human mind is horrible and I wouldn't ever date someone who is beyond the point of reprogramming. I find Islam exceptionally fearsome, and I'd never date someone programmed in that set of values and beliefs. Besides, I've gotten to the age where I need to look to the future, and if I'd date anyone, it would be someone with shared beliefs and a a shared perspective on the universe. Someone to build a nest with. In my case, it would be a cultural Catholic, someone like me who goes to Mass on holidays out of cultural attachment. So my dating pool is exclusive to Mexicans & Latin-Americans, Irish, French, Portuguese, Spaniards, Italians, some Germans, Some SubSaharan Africans, and your rare Catholic African-American. Although I'll make allowances for liberal Jews and members of the Eastern Rite: Greeks, Slavs, Armenians, Egyptians, Lebanese, etc. "

 

"I'm actually an African-American Catholic, or at least I was. I was raised Catholic and went to some Catholic schools between the years I was homeschooled. Now that I'm an adult I'm pretty agnostic. On the rare occasion I pray I'll still do the trinity, but I don't really do much else. Religion never helped me through my hard times.

I agree that the doctrines of Islam seem especially entrenched in the minds of it's followers. In some ways that's good, but when you have people that interpret the Koran in way that justifies the murder of civilians I turn the other way. I also don't like how women are disenfranchised in Islam. I would never denigrate good, peaceful Muslims, but at the same time I keep a certain distance."

 

"It is not a ridiculous question, tho! We all have people that we discriminate against as potential romantic partners or even as simple friends given obvious differences in sociocultural values. Something as deeply ingrained and irreversible as religious programming is something to take into consideration when seeking out a life partner. I'm sure that there are types of people that, upon being asked if you'd date them, you'd say "Of course I wouldn't, what a ridiculous question"

 

Source: 

 

[Michelle]

19 hours ago, Hawken said:

I hate skits like these.

I agree that he's a clown and doesn't represent Muslim men well, but this is not about him.

[Michelle]

18 hours ago, Txunamy said:

A Touchy one.. 

I know where you stand. 😘

[Michelle]

6 hours ago, Mimy said:

Yea why not? @Michelle, why is this even a question? What's wrong with Muslims? 

I never said there was anything wrong with Muslims. Perhaps you intended to ask what my reservations are 😀

1. The threat of my partner or myself being physically harmed.

2. The emotional harm which follows being disowned. Family is very important to me.

3. I occasionally really enjoy having pork. I'm not giving it up.

I can compromise with everything else a Muslim woman would bring to the table. I can also say that I would have the same exact reservations about dating a Naija gal regardless of her religion. I believe good people are often blessed with the finer things in life. I hit the jackpot with @Txunamy 😜 She doesn't eat pork, but she'd have no problems with kissing me after having it. I'll buy her all the turkey bacon and franks she wants, but she would soon give in after smelling my bbq baby back ribs just as many other non-pork eating folks have in the past😀

[Michelle]

6 hours ago, Hawken said:

I would have zero problems with dating a Muslim woman.

This should've been your first response.

 

6 hours ago, Hawken said:

Dating a Muslim man on the other hand is totally out of it.

But aren't you a lesbian?

[Hawken]

4 hours ago, Michelle said:

This should've been your first response.

 

But aren't you a lesbian?

No, my first response stands. I obviously addressed the video and the guys mock outrage not your question.

A lesbian, yes. But if I were straight and Christian that I am, no Muslim men for me.

[Hawken]

6 hours ago, RedSafire said:

And there in lies the problem of Nigeria. We refuse to call a spade what it is in the guise of sensitivity.

Great response.

[kimi]

7 hours ago, RedSafire said:

And there in lies the problem of Nigeria. We refuse to call a spade what it is in the guise of sensitivity. If we had raised our voices earlier on when BH started, we won’t be where we are. When religion is questioned, especially Islam, Nigerians avoid. We are hostages in our own country and we all pretend it’s okay. No matter its sensitivity, we need to learn to call bad, bad. There is no religion without a bloody past, the only difference is the willingness and ability to think progressively, applying the tenets of the religion within the context of the time. A few days ago, I came across a registered Muslim organization in the north, Movement against advancement of innovation or something like that. That was it for me.

 I apologize to my Muslim sisters. I don’t want to offend, my best friend is an Imam in Kaduna state. We should learn to analyze issues objectively, I have been to UAE and Turkey, I still wonder why it’s different here.

 

There is nothing wrong with Muslims and I don’t think the question is wrong. Nigeria has more two major religion. Do you know the number of Nigerians who are traditional worshipers? I will dare say half the people who are Christians and Muslims are traditionalists. 

All I read here Redsafire is a lot of sentiments. You have generalized, basing judgement on the events that plague us as a country -which is at tangent with the question posed by the OP. In my opinion, your view isn't balanced and having a friend as an Imam has no place in this argument. You do not need to agree but I maintain that the question came off a tad "off". This is a general space, we shouldn't encourage topics that make certain groups uncomfortable. 

[Hawken]

1 hour ago, kimi said:

This is a general space, we shouldn't encourage topics that make certain groups uncomfortable.

If we were to avoid topics that would make certain groups uncomfortable, I put it to you that we would have nothing real to talk about anymore. There will always be that one group/person that's sensitive to a subject...

So If hearing the "truth" would make some people uncomfortable, then I think they (I included) should suck it up.

Because I believe we can have these uncomfortable conversations successfully, if we do so without provocative languages.

 

[kimi]

33 minutes ago, Hawken said:

If we were to avoid topics that would make certain groups uncomfortable, I put it to you that we would have nothing real to talk about anymore. There will always be that one group/person that's sensitive to a subject...

So If hearing the "truth" would make some people uncomfortable, then I think they (I included) should suck it up.

Because I believe we can have these uncomfortable conversations successfully, if we do so without provocative languages.

 

Naaah... you girls are totally going off point now. You know what I mean by 'sensitive' topics and people feeling 'uncomfortable'. 

To each her own. We don't always have to agree on every thing. 

[Mimy]

I have a problem with religion. Islam and Christianity especially but not with Christians or Muslims because they themselves are victims of these mind twisting beliefs. 

In Nigeria there isn't any difference between dating a lesbian Muslim woman and a lesbian Christian woman. Both challenges are similar. They both stand the chances of being disowned by their family, lynched and ostracized. 

A Muslim woman who is a lesbian is less likely to be a fanatic just as her  Christian counterpart. In fact, I have never seen a fanatical Muslim/Christian lesbian. They are both busy struggling and doing mental gymnastic with their archaic homophobic religion to be extremists.

 

[Mimy]

11 hours ago, RedSafire said:

There is nothing wrong with Muslims and I don’t think the question is wrong. Nigeria has more two major religion. Do you know the number of Nigerians who are traditional worshipers? I will dare say half the people who are Christians and Muslims are traditionalists

Lol okay. This traditionalists must be really closeted because it's almost as if they don't exist. It'd have been great if they are the majority. Maybe we would have a less hateful and divisive Nigeria. 

[Michelle]

7 hours ago, kimi said:

we shouldn't encourage topics that make certain groups uncomfortable.

Who is uncomfortable? Are you speaking of Muslims or those people that harbor guilt over their true feelings towards them?

[Txunamy]

14 hours ago, Michelle said:

I never said there was anything wrong with Muslims. Perhaps you intended to ask what my reservations are 😀

1. The threat of my partner or myself being physically harmed.

2. The emotional harm which follows being disowned. Family is very important to me.

3. I occasionally really enjoy having pork. I'm not giving it up.

I can compromise with everything else a Muslim woman would bring to the table. I can also say that I would have the same exact reservations about dating a Naija gal regardless of her religion. I believe good people are often blessed with the finer things in life. I hit the jackpot with @Txunamy 😜 She doesn't eat pork, but she'd have no problems with kissing me after having it. I'll buy her all the turkey bacon and franks she wants, but she would soon give in after smelling my bbq baby back ribs just as many other non-pork eating folks have in the past😀

😀 silly willy

[Hawken]

8 hours ago, Mimy said:

Lol okay. This traditionalists must be really closeted because it's almost as if they don't exist. It'd have been great if they are the majority. Maybe we would have a less hateful and divisive Nigeria. 

Maybe. Because there are countries in Europe that are quite religious and still peaceful.

I think the problem is Nigerians, there's something about us 😂😥

[Michelle]

6 hours ago, Txunamy said:

😀 silly willy

😘

[Mimy]

11 hours ago, Hawken said:

Maybe. Because there are countries in Europe that are quite religious and still peaceful.

I think the problem is Nigerians, there's something about us 😂😥

Most Nigerians are less informed. Violent, hate filled and divisive books disguised as holy books in the hand of illiterates/less informed is dangerous. Reason why we're crippled with extremism. The enlighten knows these holy books aren't to be taken seriously and literally but just as stories and allegories. Reason why the religious Europe is relatively peaceful. 

Nigeria is better off without these two religions. Pre Islam and Christianity era, no Nigerian was killing or hating anyone for not worshipping Amadioha, Sango, Tsumburbura... and the likes.