dequeen Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Teewhy said: She shouldn't come out, at least not yet. The same fan that said he or she would still love her if she comes out would be the fan that would bash her like mad if she does. Nigeria and Nigerians are just crazy like that. I agree with you. How many fans said that? I'm a fan and I wasn't counted in the saying of that saying. Na 40,000 fans fit fight the hatred of 3,000,000 bloodthirsty homophobic youths?? I laugh in hindu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 2 hours ago, Mimy said: No any caught needed my dear. That babe is gay af abi na her durag be giving me wrong signal or I just wish she is 😂 Really? I hope she is sha..Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 2 hours ago, kimi said: I think it is obvious that she is. Lool. She's done the rainbow head to toe thing. I may be wrong but that was what did it for me. Ahhhh! If she has done the rainbow thing, then its all in the clear..😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 1 hour ago, dequeen said: I agree with you. How many fans said that? I'm a fan and I wasn't counted in the saying of that saying. Na 40,000 fans fit fight the hatred of 3,000,000 bloodthirsty homophobic youths?? I laugh in hindu Lmao, let me join you to laugh in arabic. It will shock her career if she dares come out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 4 hours ago, Teewhy said: Lmao, let me join you to laugh in arabic. It will shock her career if she dares come out. Hahahaha!!! If she comes out, her career will go from freshly roasted fish to used condom within a week. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 I need advise... I introduced 2 ladies to each other and they started dating. Initially both parties were happy, even thanking me for introducing them but it was short lived. The relationship within 2 months deteriorated into an abusive one. Not physically abusive.....mentally and emotionally abusive. So much so that the abused would chat me up and afterwards tell me she had to clear her chats so the abuser wouldn't know we chatted or what we chatted about....apparently her phone was no longer private. When I realized how bad things were, I began to advise the abused to leave the relationship but she insisted she was too inlove with the abuser, madly inlove was the term she used. Now I don't know what to do. Should I confront the abuser, knowing that it could escalate things into physical abuse? Do I keep quiet and pretend the heartrending stories I'm hearing are none of my business?? Should I continue pleading sense into the abused to leave the relationship? Should I provoke the ego of the abuser so she dumps the abused? Please help me. By the way, lesson learned. Single people are single for a reason. I will never matchmake anyone again. I have retired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 2 hours ago, dequeen said: I need advise... I introduced 2 ladies to each other and they started dating. Initially both parties were happy, even thanking me for introducing them but it was short lived. The relationship within 2 months deteriorated into an abusive one. Not physically abusive.....mentally and emotionally abusive. So much so that the abused would chat me up and afterwards tell me she had to clear her chats so the abuser wouldn't know we chatted or what we chatted about....apparently her phone was no longer private. When I realized how bad things were, I began to advise the abused to leave the relationship but she insisted she was too inlove with the abuser, madly inlove was the term she used. Now I don't know what to do. Should I confront the abuser, knowing that it could escalate things into physical abuse? Do I keep quiet and pretend the heartrending stories I'm hearing are none of my business?? Should I continue pleading sense into the abused to leave the relationship? Should I provoke the ego of the abuser so she dumps the abused? Please help me. By the way, lesson learned. Single people are single for a reason. I will never matchmake anyone again. I have retired. *Scratches Head* This is Bad man, very Bad. I can only imagine. There is nothing worse than an abusive relationship. The best thing for the abuser is to leave the relationship, but now she is holding onto love. Love is not pain. Love is not controlling and abusive. And sadly, if she stays on in that relationship, she begins to lose her self, piece by piece..Everytime she is abused by the abuser, a piece falls off, and so it goes until the day she finally finds the courage to leave, but sadly the deed has been done. She ventures into the next relationship, a puzzle,with missing pieces. Its a vicious cycle. I am not good with relationship advice, so, i don't know what to advice you to do. But, if i was the One who 'match- maked' them, i would confront the abuser cos i would feel responsible for what the abused is passing Through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 24, 2019 Moderators Share Posted January 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Txunamy said: *Scratches Head* This is Bad man, very Bad. I can only imagine. There is nothing worse than an abusive relationship. The best thing for the abuser is to leave the relationship, but now she is holding onto love. Love is not pain. Love is not controlling and abusive. And sadly, if she stays on in that relationship, she begins to lose her self, piece by piece..Everytime she is abused by the abuser, a piece falls off, and so it goes until the day she finally finds the courage to leave, but sadly the deed has been done. She ventures into the next relationship, a puzzle,with missing pieces. Its a vicious cycle. I am not good with relationship advice, so, i don't know what to advice you to do. But, if i was the One who 'match- maked' them, i would confront the abuser cos i would feel responsible for what the abused is passing Through. I like this.. Wow... I matchmaked the pair means I'm close to both to some extent at the very least. Like Txunamy, I would confront the other but not without telling the abused about it. I'll tell her that I feel responsible and if she doesn't take a break/exit the relationship, I would be left with little or no choice but to intervene. Sighs... Honestly, I don't understand it when people call what clearly isn't love; love. There must be a low self esteem issue at play. That's the only thing I can think of when people stay even when their sense of self is being diminished and eroded by another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 24 minutes ago, kimi said: I like this.. Wow... I matchmaked the pair means I'm close to (some extent at the very least to ) both. Like Txunamy, I would confront the other but not without telling the abused about it. I'll tell her that I feel responsible and if she doesn't take a break/exit the relationship, I would be left with little or no choice but to intervene. Sighs... Honestly, I don't understand it when people call what clearly isn't love; love. There must be a low self esteem issue at play. That's the only thing I can think of when people stay even when their sense of self is being diminished and eroded by another. Yeah..Most times its low self esteem. 'My eyes are too big, if i leave her can i find me another that would accept my big eyes'? 'I have a flat bum, girls like ass, who would date someone with a flat bum' ? 'God, i am too fat.No one would want me if i leave her'. 'i am too dark, i am darker than melanin, she accepts my dark skin, i should stick with her inspite of the fact that i am being abused' . 'I am too short, most girls would want to date someone their height at least'. 'i am too thin, would anyone love a thin person with small breast?' and it goes on and on.. Domo held on to chrissy for a long time because she thought if she left chrissy, no one would love her cos of her masculine looks.she saw herself as being very ugly. I don't know why anyone should be having self esteem issues in this day and age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 24, 2019 Moderators Share Posted January 24, 2019 16 minutes ago, Txunamy said: don't know why anyone should be having self esteem issues in this day and age. Sadly this is the reality for a whole lot of people... they listened to and accepted the wrong voices as truth (growing up). The sad part is when the voices doing the damage are close friends or family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 29 minutes ago, kimi said: Sadly this is the reality for a whole lot of people... they listened to and accepted the wrong voices as truth (growing up). The sad part is when the voices doing the damage are close friends or family. And sometimes, the tiny voice could be from oneself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 52 minutes ago, kimi said: The sad part is when the voices doing the damage are close friends or family True. While in school my cliq of friends then always bully me for being a novice because I don't club or party hard as they do or chase after boys and other shit straight girls in university do. As some point I started to see myself as such. Fortunately for me I quickly realized that I wasn't wired that way and I'd never enjoy what they do even if I try. For lots they take it really deep and it affects how they see themselves. Friends and family are the real culprits in damaging self esteem. @Op, please advice the abused to run for her life. What she feel for her abuser is Stockholm syndrome not love. Those who suffer from Stockholm Syndrome develop an unhealthy positive attachment to their abusers. They come to accept the abuser’s lies and rationalizations for his/her bad behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Thankyou all for the advise. I will confront the abuser. After reading your responses I told the abused that I will talk to the abuser. However if after talking to the abuser and no change occurs, I expect, in fact, I demand that she leave the relationship. I also let her know that if she doesn't leave the relationship, I am blocking both of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 3 hours ago, dequeen said: Thankyou all for the advise. I will confront the abuser. After reading your responses I told the abused that I will talk to the abuser. However if after talking to the abuser and no change occurs, I expect, in fact, I demand that she leave the relationship. I also let her know that if she doesn't leave the relationship, I am blocking both of them. You should Talk to the Abuser. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. Its the wise and upright thing to do. If you weren't the matchmaker, i would have told you to mind your business..Lol..But, If Anything happens to the abused without you hearing the Abuser's side of the story/confronting her, you would not be able to live with yourself i tell ya. In the words of MLK, 'our lives begin to end when we become silent about the things that matters' Also have it in mind that the Abuser would deny abusing the Abused. They always Deny, Its a classic move. Don't look for Remorse from the Abuser, remorse is also a classic move. Just ask her. If she denies it, just give her some random Advice. If she confess to it, praise God! Then preach to Her. After you have done all that, Take a back seat. They are both over 18 right? You have done your bit, and its no Longer your problem. Matter of fact, you would have to tell the abused not to tell you anything about the abuser any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Just now, Txunamy said: Matter of fact, you would have to tell the abused not to tell you anything about the abuser any more. Errr this isn't very friendly. i wouldn't tell a friend not to come to me with her problems. Mostly if its one pertaining to abuse. Cutting an abuse victim off only makes it worse. How would you know when they need help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 2 minutes ago, Hawken said: Errr this isn't very friendly. i wouldn't tell a friend not to come to me with her problems. Mostly if its one pertaining to abuse. Cutting an abuse victim off only makes it worse. How would you know when they need help? Hawk, Read the story from the beginning. What you quoted from my comment above is the last resort after all Avenues have failed.. Start from the top..😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 5 hours ago, Txunamy said: Hawk, Read the story from the beginning. What you quoted from my comment above is the last resort after all Avenues have failed.. Start from the top..😁 Yeah, but the last resort doesnt help her na. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Hawken said: Yeah, but the last resort doesnt help her na. So, if you keep trying to help someone and the person doesnt want to be helped, You keep at it? Oh well, different strokes for different folks Hawk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 26 minutes ago, Txunamy said: So, if you keep trying to help someone and the person doesnt want to be helped, You keep at it? Oh well, different strokes for different folks Hawk. Fair enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewoma Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 So speechless............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 Guest Minaj tho😂😂😂 My spiritual wife. You give me life. Keep this up, I might just write a story about this😅😅😁 E go be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 @scarlet, did you follow #NGcandidates interview with Kadaria struggling and grabbing at straws while Atiku and Obi served it hot 🔥 Of course you won't call me out on this. 😏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 @RAVENFLOXsend me your email let me forward your story to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 37 minutes ago, Hawken said: Lmao. Which kind face be this?🤣🤣🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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